The Best Way to Think About Valentines Day

I’ve never been a huge fan of Valentines day, mainly because it’s so commercialized. And red. And pink. Then with considering the personal relationship heartaches I’ve gone through in the past few years, I must say I’m fine it we skip right over it and move right along to Easter.

I would venture to say many people might even agree. Why? Because let’s face it –  this holiday focused on romance either puts a lot of pressure on men and women alike to meet the love/gift expectations of someone else, brings disappointment to those whose expectations are not met, or elicits heartache for those who are secretly longing to have a special Valentine who adores them but instead they feel lonely and overlooked. Yeah, I get it.

But as I stated in today’s Proverbs 31 Devotion, If Only Life Were Like a Hallmark Movie, I think I’ve finally learned that Valentines day doesn’t have to be about earthly love the way we think about it, but about the one Love that never fails.

My faith has helped me realize that true happiness has to come from the only One who never lets us down, never leaves us, never abandons us, and never stops loving us – no matter what. No matter our imperfections, our flaws, and our failures. No matter our bad hair days, extra holiday pounds, and mood swings. No matter what.

Understanding that real love and joy comes from Christ, and not a person, opens the door for us to experience a true level of joy based on the fact that we are adored every day of the year. It brings on a different kind of joy, based on the status of our heart, not the status of an earthly relationship.  A joy based on Him, and nothing else. Thankfully, I’ve finally realized that I should never put the key to my own joy in someone else’s pocket. I did that for far too long. Earthly relationships can add to our happiness, but they should never be what determines it.

As Valentines day approaches this month, what if we looked at this concept of the ‘love holiday’ with a whole new perspective? What if we focused on who we could show love to, rather than just who we are or are not in love with? What if we used this holiday to share the love of Christ with someone? Or even give the the gift of our time, instead of a gift bought from the store?

The only way to hang onto joy and happiness when you feel like Valentine’s Day is special for everyone except you is to  remember where true joy, love and happiness really come from.

When you change the way you think about things, the things you think about will change too. In what way can you change how you think about Valentines this year and how might that change impact your joy for the better?

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22 Comments

  1. Melanie S. Chitwood on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 7:18 am

    Tracie, Your last few blogs, including this one, have so been what I needed to read and hear. I’ve taken your word to heart. Thank you for sharing honestly.



    • Tracie on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 9:29 am

      Thank you Melanie! I’m so blessed to hear that. 🙂 Hope to see you again soon!



  2. Amber on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 7:44 am

    I’m trying to stay positive and trust God’s love for my life. It’s not the romantic relationship I’m looking for (I’ve already found my sweetheart????) but just friendship! Me and my husband are both in the shy side and people just don’t seem to want to be around us! We invite people over-it never gets returned, we invite people to events-they say no. I’m so tired of loneliness and rejection! I’ve prayed about it and taken it to God many times. It would just be nice to have some real friends.



    • Tracie on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 9:29 am

      Im so sorry Amber. I completely understand and went through seasons of that myself. I heard a speaker once tell the audience to “pray for friends.” I did for years, and now I am blessed with many. God always hears our prayers and knows our deepest desires. I’ll be praying for you that God amazes you with new friendships this year and erases your sense of loneliness. 🙂



  3. William Pippen on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 8:30 am

    Bless you!
    Your blog and the stories you write for Encouragement for Today are words God uses to speak to our hearts. Being single is not always easy.
    Thank you Jesus for walking through this with us. Show us the way.

    You keep writing and keep blessing us. And may God use you, and bless you in a mighty way!



    • Tracie on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 9:30 am

      Thank you William! Your words are encouraging today too!



  4. Paula D Zigler on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 8:47 am

    I needed these words today. I’ve been battling with loneliness since October last year. I try and put it in the Lord’s hands but everyday it sneaks back in my mind. With Valentines Day coming I was dreading it but after reading this I’m starting to except my fate and remember there is only one who loves me no matter what!
    Thank You and Bless you!



    • Kalyani Nagarajan on Saturday, February 3, 2018 at 10:05 pm

      Paula, read my post at the very bottom.
      It would surely give you biblical hope!!



  5. Dot on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 8:56 am

    Thank you for sharing your heart on this matter. Never liked it myself, even before my husband died. Recently in the office, one of the graduate assistants mentioned that her 7th grade Bible teacher told the girls class to write a letter to their future husbands. She has been writing every valentine’s day since. In May, she will present her husband her letters the day they marry. My children are all grown and out of the house but i will do that this year. not sure if the LORD has another husband for me but it will probably be a good healing for me.



    • Tracie Miles on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 3:36 pm

      Im so sorry about the loss of your husband Dot. But I love the idea of writing a letter to a future husband. What a treasure her husband will receive on their wedding day. Praying for God to fill your life with love and joy and surround you with people to love on you.



  6. Patricia Martin on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 9:19 am

    I have been praying for several years now for God to bring Christian friends to fellowship w my husband and myself. We are empty nester and have reached out, invited people to our home for dinner without any followup. I feel I have reached a point of desperation for Godly friends. I attend bible study and church and have small talk but that is as far as it goes.
    This morning I read your devotional Tracie and it was so encouraging. I stop and pray asking God to please help me to stop chasing friends….instead chase Jesus to fill me w His love….to make me whole through the love of God instead of people.



    • Tracie Miles on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 3:37 pm

      God hears those prayers Patricia! Never cease praying for God to bring special friends into your life and expectantly wait for Him to do so while allowing God’s love to fill your hearts!



  7. Lynn on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 10:18 am

    Thank you so much for your devotional today. It so touched my heart. I loved your idea of giving a gift of love to someone this month. I am going through a divorce this year after 41 years of an abusive marriage. It has been so hard dealing with all the hearts, church dinners, etc when you are dealing with a broken relationship and a broken heart. That is why your idea was so helpful because it reminded me again that true joy and love comes from the Lord and to reach out to someone is something that would please Him and also bring joy into my own life.



    • Tracie Miles on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 3:40 pm

      Lynn, Im so sorry for what you’re going through, but it is a praise for no longer being in an abusive relationship. God is the ultimate mender of broken hearts so just continue to lean into Him every day for strength, peace, comfort and joy. Hugs to you.



    • Kalyani Nagarajan on Saturday, February 3, 2018 at 10:03 pm

      Read my post at the very bottom, Lyn. It will surely put a sparkle in your eyes and a spring in your step!!



  8. Katie on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 11:06 am

    Proverbs 31 Ministries brought me to your website today and I am so glad it did! I am currently going through a break up and facing my 29th birthday in a few days. This is never where I expected to be in my life at 29. By now I thought I would have a husband and a family not single still living with a roommate. I prayed last night for God to show me that he is the Love I need and this post just reassured me of that! Your prayer this morning on the Proverbs 31 devotional brought me to tears. God answered my prayers this morning and helped to show me that He really does listen.



    • Tracie Miles on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 3:41 pm

      I totally understand that Katie! So many women feel that way, including myself. Life does not always turn out as we planned. But God is still good and I believe He has an amazing husband waiting for you. Praying for you as you continue to walk this journey. Glad you came to my blog!



  9. RaĂ­ssa on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    Hi Tracie!

    I live in Brazil and around here Valentine’s day happens only in June. However, the reflection is very welcome. Loneliness does not appear just in specific dates, it just becomes more evident when we scroll our Facebook or Instagram feeds and see pictures of happy couples. You can help but wonder when it is going to be your time. The happy news is that I’m waiting for God’s perfect will. Surround myself with this truth is key.



  10. Carolyn R on Thursday, February 1, 2018 at 9:18 pm

    Thank you, Tracie! This is God’s truth, which is true all the time, whether in a great relationships or not, feeling valued or feeling lonely. He is the only one who loves us perfectly and will never fail us. Now, if only I could remember that 24/7 and live in that truth all the time. Better yet, if only I could really believe it with every fiber of my being. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have been working on me for a few years to transform my mind about this. Thanks for the great reminder today. Blessings to you.



  11. Leah on Saturday, February 3, 2018 at 10:22 am

    Being single in my 30’s has been difficult. I know that my singleness has been a blessing from God, as it has allowed for much needed spiritual and personal growth, as well as the cultivation of wonderful relationships with friends and family. But my heart just can’t seem to stop longing for a relationship, for a teammate to enjoy life and endure struggles with, and ultimately for a family of my own. I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day because I so enjoy giving love but have struggled with having no one to give it to. This was an excellent reminder that there are many people – outside of a romantic relationship – who will gladly accept it. Thank you!



  12. Kalyani Nagarajan on Saturday, February 3, 2018 at 10:00 pm

    What about a true” Heavenly Ending” or an “Heavenly Ever After” instead of “happily ever after”, which is unreal and earthly. My dear sisters in Christ, a day will come when we will see Jesus Face to face and that will be our “Heavenly Ever After,” and not a Fairy Tale !!!
    “Our Prince of Peace and we are His Bride !” The best is yet to come!!



  13. Sherri on Monday, February 19, 2018 at 2:39 am

    This is exactly what I have been dealing with for the past 18 years. That is when my husband left me and our son for another woman who was pregnant with his child. I had no preparation for the pain, suffering and embarrassment that came with his shocking betrayal. But I had faith that God would bring someone into my life to help raise my 3 year old son and with whom I could have more children.
    Well, I am still waiting for someone to share my life…the more children of my own is a no longer possible. I have tried many relationships and have been rejected with all of them. I have a girlfriend who is amazed I keep trying dating!
    Two years ago I met a wonderful man who made me believe that he was the answer to my prayers. After more than a year of happiness, and once again, out of the blue, he broke up with me. He was with me one day and on a date with apparently the love of his life two weeks later. It breaks my heart once again. I keep playing back all my wonderful memories with him and I know someone else is making those memories with him now.
    I know in my heart and soul that God’s love is all I need and that He has been there by my side in these lonely years. But it is difficult not to want someone there to hug you when you wake up in the middle of the night scared and lonely. I know God has a plan…but I just don’t understand His ways and how my loneliness could be to His glory.



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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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