Faith Filled Friday – Week 4

Today is the 4th Faith-Filled Friday in the Your Life Still Counts Bible Study. If you’re a regular subscriber you already know that, but if you’re visiting me from today’s Proverbs 31 Devotion, then I want to welcome you!

Today’s P31 devotion shares my personal story of how choosing to terminate a teenage pregnancy resulted in years of living in regret and shame. But most importantly, the devotion shares how God helped me learn to believe that no sin was unforgivable, that He loved me no matter what, and that He still had a plan and purpose for my life.

Knowing how an abortion scars a girl’s heart forever, God has engrained a passion within me to help women understand that self forgiveness begins with God’s forgiveness, and that He is the answer to living in freedom from the pain of the past and discovering what real peace feels like. But I also know, because of so many precious women who have shared their hearts and deepest painful secrets with me over the years, that abortion is not the only sin or experience that steals a woman’s self worth, robs her of confidence, shames her heart, and makes her feel like a broken, damaged, or purposeless individual.

Life – no matter what our individual experiences are – can leave us all feeling exactly that way. Millions of women every day live with the crushing weight of the belief that they can’t possibly matter to God, and that their lives don’t matter to Him either, because of all that has happened in their past.

Sexual abuse, divorce, heartache, infidelity, death, loss, financial problems, medical problems, illness, domestic abuse, criminal activity, prison time, difficult family situations, rebellious children, addictions, pornography, abortions, promiscuity, dishonesty, depression, poor choices, and so on and so on and so on. Every painful experience brings on a different level of shame and unworthiness, whether it was our own sin or someone else’s sin against us.

But Romans 8: 1 says this:  “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” (NLT)  This verse has no loopholes, no red tape, no conditions. We all have something or someone in our life that has caused us to believe we are not loved or valued by the Savior. Some of us might even believe we have committed an unforgivable sin, but according to Jesus, when we repent, we are forgiven. Period.  No condemnation means no condemnation. No. Matter. What.

It was this verse that played a major role in my journey of letting go of my past and embracing not only God’s unconditional forgiveness and love, but also the promise that He had a plan for my life – not despite my past, but maybe because of it. It was this verse that helped me break free from the belief that I was too damaged and messed up for God to love, and begin to embrace who I was in His eyes, instead of my own.

Sweet friend, the only reason I share my personal experience, which is still hard to share, is because I am living proof that God can take what the devil meant for evil and use it for something good, and because I have witnessed first hand the incredible freedom, relief and peace we can feel when we stop being ashamed of our past, and start believing God not only loves us anyway, but has a purpose for it. When we come to the point in our faith walk where we can believe those two truths without a shadow of a doubt, our hearts and lives are transformed forever more.

As promised in the Proverbs 31 Devotion, Below you will find some tips and resources to help you find healing, grace, love, acceptance and purpose. My prayer is that no matter what has happened in your life up until now, that maybe some of these options can help you discover the redemption and freedom God has waiting for you today.

HELPFUL RESOURCES TO CHECK OUT

* Do you know Jesus as your personal Savior? If you would like to have a relationship with God,  click here.

* April is National Abortion Recovery Awareness Month. Abortion not only kills babies, but hurts women in more ways they could imagine or want to admit, even so much so that ‘Post Abortion Syndrome’ has been called a form of post traumatic stress order. But there is hope, and healing is possible. If you know firsthand the pain of abortion and the sting of shame and regret that follows, and if you have been longing for healing and peace, consider checking out some of the resources below.

Your Life Still Counts: How God Uses Your Past To Create A Beautiful Future, by Tracie Miles
Your Life Still Counts Participant Study Guide (Ebook), by Tracie Miles  
Surrendering the Secret , by Pat Layton
Broken Into Beautiful: How God Restores the Wounded Heart , by Gwen Smith
Forgiven and Set Free: A Post Abortion Bible Study for Women, by Linda Cochrane

* Find a local Pregnancy Resource Center which offers free classes, individual counseling, helpful resources, and post abortive bible studies. 

* Check out Ramah International , offering the hope of healing to abortion’s wounded.

* For inspiring articles and information, and/or to get involved in supporting pro-life, check out Carenet and Heartbeat International.

* To read a great Proverbs 31 Devotion by Vicki Courtney about pushing past shame and regret, click here.                              

TIPS FOR DISCOVERING FREEDOM IN CHRIST AND OVERCOMING SHAME

Whether your shame and pain come from abortion or from other painful circumstances and memories from your past, pray about which one(s) of these tips might be a great first step to take towards healing and freedom today:

– If you have never asked God for forgiveness or healing, do so today. When we ask, we receive. It’s God’s gift to us. (1 John 1:9)

– Forgive those who hurt you and made you feel ashamed, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve to be free and not let them have control over your happiness and joy. (Matthew 6:14)

– Stop thinking about your past failures. God doesn’t keep a record of our wrongs once we’ve asked for forgiveness, and we shouldn’t either. That voice that keeps reminding of our unworthiness is not coming from God. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

– Remind yourself daily that you are pure and whole in God’s sight; loved and treasured like a precious jewel. Each day try to see yourself through His eyes, instead of your own. (Psalm 34:5)

– Read 2 Corinthians 5:17, and embrace His truth that in Him, the old is gone, and you are a new version of you with new life. (click here to read Wednesday’s blog post about embracing new life)

– Read Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11, and ask God to whisper to your spirit, giving you great clarity and understanding of what His plans and purposes are for your life.

– Consider what John 3:16 means to you, and let it change your perspective on God and your own value to Him.

BookCover_YLSCI’d love to give away two copies of my book today to someone who could really use a reminder that their life still counts, or know someone who could.

To enter to win, simply leave a brief comment sharing what your thoughts were after reading today’s devotion and blog post. I’d love to hear how God is at work in many women’s hearts today. (email replies not eligible)

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If you’d like to hop on board with the Your Life Still Counts study, simply subscribe to my blog and order your copy of Your Life Still Counts: How God Uses Your Past To Create A Beautiful Future. You can access all the bible study posts and get caught up right away (3 weeks left!), or do the study at your own pace and convenience. For all the general information about the study, please click here.

Winners from Wednesdays giveaway day:  Miranda Miller (copy of When A Woman Finds Her Voice) and Susie (copy of Organizing Your Prayer Closet).

45 Comments

  1. Terri D on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 6:26 am

    You spoke to my heart. I didn’t know how to describe that feeling. Shudder. These Scriptures do give me peace. Thank you



  2. Kathy on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 6:46 am

    Thank you for this devotional today. It is just what I needed. Thank you again so much.



  3. Joy K on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 6:47 am

    This is exactly what I needed. I have never told anyone I had an abortion apart from my husband. The shame is too much. I have prayed for years and even when God has blessed me with three kids I still feel I haven’t been forgiven. Thank you so much. God bless you.



  4. debbir on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 7:02 am

    I woke up this morning feeling so torn and lost but as I read your story God spoke to my heart thank you for sharing.



  5. Tina on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 7:18 am

    It is amazing that when we truly open our hearts to His love, all is possible. Thank you for sharing and speaking love to our hearts.



  6. Brooke on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 7:31 am

    First time reader and I am compelled to write to you to thank you for showing me the steps in the right direction. I have been ashamed and felt that I can only reach so far in my faith because I am no worthy in God’s eyes. I have been carrying around the burden for over 15 years and I reading this blog gave me hope that I can be forgiven too. I have been so scared to confess my sins to the priest because I felt he would be shocked, appalled and think I am the worst person. Now I know I am not alone and I must confess my sins to break free of this weight on my heart. Thank you.



  7. Stella on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 7:37 am

    It’s really important to let people know how their past decisions can result into something good. Your story is helping other people around the world learn that they can still live a peaceful life through Jesus Christ. I’ve never had an abortion but I’ve been through other kind of pains in this life (multiple rapes, miscarriage, physical abuse as a kid, depression, suicide attempts, self harm.) It’s sometimes hard to remember that I’ve been forgiven through all this. But it’s true our lives do still count in this lifetime. Jesus died for us, for you for everyone. And he has a purpose with everything that goes through a persons life. I really love your blogs like for real.

    I have a strong heart for those who have had an abortion. Past decisions doesn’t have to define a persons life now. I like how you shared 2 Cor 5:17. “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” It is true to all of us who have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

    It can be hard to believe this but it is true. Again, I’ve never had an abortion but I do have a strong, caring and loving desire to share God’s love and forgiveness to those who have. When I evangelize I’d like to have a basic understanding of someones experiences through abortion. I’d like to read your book to understand the experience someone has gone through and how God has transformed their lives through it.

    Thank you for sharing these blogs today. They opened my eyes to see how God can work in someones life no matter what they have done, gone through and is going through.



    • Suzette Buffa on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 2:45 pm

      Stella- You wrote . I’ve never had an abortion but I’ve been through other kind of pains in this life (multiple rapes, miscarriage, physical abuse as a kid, depression, suicide attempts, self harm.) It’s sometimes hard to remember that I’ve been forgiven through all this.

      Those were things that were done TO you, not your doing. You do not need to ask forgiveness for being raped, having a miscarriage, ect)!!

      ((((HUGS)))) and healing to your heart!!



  8. Hope on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 7:42 am

    Thank you for your willingness to share your story. Shame seems to linger even though I know I am forgiven. Believing daily to see me through God’s eyes



  9. Jenny on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 7:57 am

    I have saved these verses in my phone so I can now be armed and ready for when the shame comes to my mind… I now have the tools to fight back those thoughts and focus on God’s perfect plan for me.



  10. Libby on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 8:04 am

    Your post for today touched my life personally in so many ways. I have never felt worthy of forgiveness. I can’t seem to let go of guilt and shame over many choices in my life. I’ve always been a believer but in honesty, not a follower as I should have been. More than 2 years have passed since my son and only child ended his life. I have experienced what no parent should and I have struggled every day to find any possible good that could come from such a tragic and painful loss. I began to work on my relationship with God in an effort to survive. I knew that I couldn’t get through the pain alone. Your story, and your tips have helped me to see that maybe, the “good” came when I looked to Christ for healing, and maybe there is hope that the day will come when I feel worthy.



  11. Lyn on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 8:26 am

    Thank you so much for having the courage to share.
    I have been able to forgive others by seeing them “through Gods eyes”. But never have I thought to forgive myself by seeing me through His eyes.
    God bless you and all you do!



  12. Babs on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 8:38 am

    your comment on abortion was spot on. I got pregnant at 32 while dating my future husband with two exes and 2kids. He dais he would marry me if I aborted the child. He ass marriage and children equals divorce. I did it and got a ring on my finger next day. I fought him a year later left him I wanted a child. He conceded but did not want one. So she was born out of love and mistrust. 25 years later we are divorced. She has nothing to do with me and lives with a man her father that never wanted her. I find that I think God is cruel and why is he punishing me. In last 2 years I have seen her 3 times. I die every morn when I open my eyes. No holidays of joy. No nothing. I have nothing to Hope for. She said she never wanted to see me again and lives with this man of no faith,but has money. I feel sorry for her but I want better,but I won’t get it. Completely lost. No one. I do want to die to get out of this pain everyday but I hang on to what? God can’t go to a movie with me or beach or dinner or pay per view. Completely have nothing to live for. She made her choice to kill me



    • heather on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 9:07 am

      Babs,
      i know of that want to die to end the pain ( I felt deep pain, different from yours, yet pain) is like. I have been there.
      You are very brave to put your thoughts down on this blog.
      You said of Tracie : “your comment on abortion was spot on” Well, since her comment on abortion is spot on, then the rest of her post is too!
      Romans 8:1 is for you! “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” (NLT) I love Tracie’s explanation of that verse 🙂
      Jesus Christ DIED and ROSE for all our sins.
      PLEASE, PLEASE look over some of the resources listed, look and believe the verses.
      You have reacted out on this blog, continue to react out.
      KNOW that i will be praying for you!



      • Lo on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 2:30 pm

        Hello and God bless each and every one of you. In Jesus name.
        Hello Babs,
        May God continue to bless you and give you his perfect peace. Remember: through God all things are possible. He will never leave you or forsake you. He says no weapon formed against you shall prosper. He also says to you and the rest of the World to SEEK him first in all things, and he will give you the desires of your heart. He knows what is best for us. He works in mysterious ways. You have to allow him to have the Glory in all your situations and he will give you the Victory. I’ve never had an abortion, but I could have been a victim of one. Long story short I was raised by my mother and the man whom is noted as my father and I have no relationship. He also had other children. Til this day my mother has been my father as well. And she is bless to have kept me as her seed. First let me say YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN OR HUMAM to VALIDATE you. You must first trust and Love God, go to him and repent and ask for his forgiveness and pray to him asking he help you to forgive yourself and all others to forgive you as well for anything this concerns. Pray for forgiveness (Intercede) for others that need to be forgiven and for the people that need to b forgiven by them and vice versa. You have to accept forgiveness for yourself once you submit this to our father. You have already been forgiven, when he placed his one and only son on the cross for all our sins. Thank you Jesus. Your child was born out of love for God loved you first. Your daughter now lives with her Father, look at it as a blessing she is getting to know him, maybe God is moving people from you because he is trying to bring you closer to him. He will use any method of completing his will. God is not a cruel person. Think it not strange.
        4 Peter 4:12-16
        12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: 13 But rejoice, in as much as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. 14 If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. 16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
        Sister, you have to trust and believe God is with you, he is not punishing you, it may be he wants to cleanse you and make you whole inside out. He wants to use you as a testimony for his kingdom. He is trying to save you and give you everlasting life. You talk about you die every morning: die to self, putting the old ways and thoughts behind you and live to life and the renewing of your mind. Every morning when you wake up, do GOD, yourself, and me a favor. Pray!!! You can start off with thank you Lord for waking me this morning, and for the all that you are and everything you have. Thank him for this is the day he made and you will rejoice and be glad in it. Thank him for his love, Grace and Mercy that that has been keeping you all this time.
        Pray The Lord’s Prayer Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen. – You need to know that: Psalm 30:5 For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime . Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Babs, you are loving your daughter more than you loving your God who loved you first and loaned her to you. She belongs to him also but was given to you as a gift from him. God is a jealous God he wants you to not place or value anything more than him. This may be the reason she has been taken away temporarily. I have been there where I love something over him and I went through some things. But check me out now. BUT GOD. He will remove stuff, take you in the valley or place you in the wilderness, you can be so broken (Babs, how you feeling now) he will keep you there so he can have a better relationship with you and you with him. He will cleanse you and remove things in you he wants out, he will strengthen you where you are weak, you gotta go to him and cry out LORD I need you, forgive me for I know not what to do, help me Lord. Talk to him just like you did on this blog and do it with a pure heart. He is waiting on you to trust in him and believe he is a God that cannot lie. If he said all who are weary, come to me and I will give you rest he will, If he says walk by Faith and not by sight YOU MUST. You feel completely lost because you need to let go and let God do for you what needs to be done. Only he can do it. He will provide you with all you need during these trying times. That’s another blessing he allows. He sends people, a word, a song a scripture. Etc. God is truly amazing, you should right now be feeling his grace, and his mercy over your life. Stop thinking negative and start thinking positive. When God has refined you and has you getting to towards the place he has for you, your daughter will be back and your relationship with her father, may be one of leading them to the Lord. Let Trust God, Let him take care of you first, and every time you think of them replace your thoughts with thinking of God. That’s the process of starting to put him first. Give God your pain, Submit yourself and Surrender all of you to him. That’s what he wants from you. Then you will get better, you’ll feel found and no longer lost. You have God , the people that he sent here to converse with you, and you have me. I would truly like to reach out and pray with you and give you more information to better go through what you are. You need to Repent, ask for forgiveness, read God’s word, get in a good church home, start fasting and always always Pray. God can remove any pain, heartache, depression, etc He can get you to the place where he will allow you to speak to your mountains and tell them to move, he can allow you to speak Peace be still, Rebuke those negative thoughts and feelings. Watch you you speak out of your mouth and put into the atmosphere. Most importantly the devil seeks to kill, steal and destroy. He knows the plans God has for you and they must be Mighty or he would not be messing with you so much. But if you carry everything to God in prayer, the devil will back off. It’s a daily duty that must be performed. Always put on the Armour of God each and every morning, cover yourself. Lastly you said God can’t go with you to You to “movie, beach, dinner or pay per view. You stand corrected…God is with you, all around you, he is carrying you as we speak. The devil is a lie and the truth is nowhere in him. Stop believing the lies he’s been feeding you. Start eating off the nourishment of Jesus. If it had not been for God on and by your side you would have either lost your mind or committed suicide a long time ago, but you still here, and what’s even better he hears your cries, and your crying out. Thank you Father. You are a Good God. Babs and I bless your holy name. Thank you for using Tracie Miles and her readers and this time and opportunity to show Babs you got her in your unchanging hands. Thank you for Mrs, Miles. For your encouragement and the love and kindness that’s in you and you share with others. Thank you God for taking her through the trials and tribulations she has went through. I know personally, sometime those times may not be for us but a testimony to share and a blessing to pass on to others. When God calls we have to be still and listen to wait and hear him speak. We need to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Babs, lastly just know this BURDEN is not yours, it belongs to the Lord. Give it to him and relax, breath, Pray, fast, Read and meditate on his word, praise him, listen to spiritual songs, go to 105.1 or wava Christian radio and get a word. Worship him and always no matter what Seek and keep him first. You are in a valley in the wilderness, being refined, refreshed and renewed the quicker you become obedient to God and the works of his hand and live by trusting and believing in him walking in Faith the sooner he may bring you out. His timing is not ours, thank him for when we don’t get the desires of our hearts…he is God our Father in Heaven and he stoops down or sends someone or something on each and every one of our behaves. He has a plan for Babs, (you). JEREMIAH 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
        May God bless you and cover you with the Blood of Jesus, To God be all the Glory, may he allow you to experience the victory. Be ENCOURAGED…..God Bless you. In the name of Jesus!!!
        Be still and know that he is God!!!!! lu



    • Tracie on Monday, April 13, 2015 at 9:40 pm

      Sweet Babs, I’m so sorry for the emotional pain you have experienced over the years and the heartache you still feel over your daughter. I have been so blessed by reading all the encouragement to you from your online sisters in Christ here on my blog, and I hope you have too. Your feelings are so valid and real – who wouldnt feel that kind of pain and loss and loneliness when their child is not speaking to them and their ex-husband seems to have gotten the upper hand when he doesnt deserve her love. But it is our choice whether or not we let other people have control over our life and our emotions. You can choose today to be the wonderful beloved child of God you are and embrace how much He loves you instead. I know that there is hope in God and that you can get through this in His strength. That sounds like a fluffy answer, but I know firsthand it is possible. I want to encourage you to surrender your pain to God, and ask Him to help you forgive your ex and your daughter – not because they deserve it, but because you deserve to be free and happy. Once we let go of what hurts us the most, God can really begin to do a work in our hearts and our lives. Im praying that God helps your heart to heal, makes His Presence acutely visible to you in your life, gives you new fresh hope and brings people into your life who can walk with you, talk with you and share life with you. I also want to encourage you to reach out to a Christian counselor or a local church for counseling or just someone to talk to, or even check out the Focus on the Family website which has lots of great articles to encourage and inspire people going through a really hard time. Your life is precious, and your life counts to God. He loves you and has great plans for you, even if it’s hard to imagine that right now. I pray that He fills your heart with a new joy, peace, happiness and hope that you have never experienced before. Im also praying for God to orchestrate miracles in your life and to restore the relationship between you and your daughter. Remember, God is the master of miracles and you are worthy of a miracle too. Hugs to you –



  13. heather on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 8:50 am

    Thank-you for your devotion on Proverbs 31, your blog and the resources. all have been a great encouragement to me this morning.



  14. YvetteP on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 9:00 am

    I was always so ashamed to share my testimony about my abortion. Then my grown daughter had one and almost died. I was devastated. Had I been honest and discussed my abortion with my girls, maybe she would’ve felt safe enough to talk about it with me first. When secrets are kept instead of histories exposed, bad things can happen; and generations repeat mistakes and sins. Now I have granddaughters to witness to and I will be transparent with them when it’s time. I will always tell them no one is perfect but Christ is perfect in us. God be with you. It takes real courage to share your heart with us all.



    • Suzette Buffa on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 2:23 pm

      Thank you so much for writing this!! 28 years ago I had an abortion. I am through the grace of God finally working towards healing.

      I was a bit torn if I should or should not tell my teenage daughter about my experience. Reading what you wrote, I think I should. Not today, not tomorrow, but I should…

      I am currently working through the online study here with Tracie and also a group at our church with a book called “Forgiven and Set Free”. We are in the middle of the study, but thinking about my daughter has just recently come to my heart and your post here really helped me. God bless you for being open to us!!



  15. Deb on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Thank you for your sweet words this morning. For over 30 years I have carried “secrets” and repeatedly asked for God’s forgiveness. Each time I ask, I think this is going to be the time He forgives me. Then something happens to bring back that time the bad choice was made and I fall right back into the pit of shame begging for God’s forgiveness again. Your words this morning give me hope and I realize I am not alone. I pray for the day when the burden is finally lifted. Thank you.



  16. Christy on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 9:59 am

    Thank you so much for the timely, truthful reminders to me this morning. God! (Sigh!)



  17. Rena on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 10:00 am

    This morning when I read the P31 devotional I had no idea what I was up for. I had an abortion almost 20 years ago and as I began to read the devotional this morning before you even said the word abortion I knew what that one word was. It was my word. As I read the devotion I began to pray for the forgiveness I’ve asked for over and over because 20 years later I still allow it to burden my heart. I know that God has forgiven me but I feel that if I go through life not living in remorse that I have somehow forgotten what I’ve done and the child whose life I cut short. When I read the words of your book I didn’t realize that I found value in my life through my children but I don’t feel value in my life for me. Thank you for your book and allowing God to use you. I’m looking forward to diving into the study … afraid but open and willing to heal the scars that are on my heart.



  18. Alexis on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 10:02 am

    As I started to read this devotion, without even coming to the Word abortion I knew that’s what the sin was that you were going to speak of. Your right when you say that abortion can scar your for life forever, in the knowing that I took a life not once but twice. I knew it was against Gods will but still felt trapped and was young. I understand that my Father in heaven has forgiven me, but for some reason that sin remains in my heart and really does make me sad to think about. Sometimes it is not easy to forgive yourself, or that you do regret the things you do in life. And your right again when you say there are numerous women who have experienced this in their lives as well as mine and yours. I am a christian, and I love my Savior who has set me free. Thank you for the devotion today and for reaching out to the daughters of the King to help them to cope and to understand God’s love and forgiveness.



  19. cheryl on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 10:12 am

    Thank you Tracie! I’ve struggled with that shame & guilt for many years. You’re post spoke to my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Hoping today is the first day of healing for me and a more meaningful walk with God.
    Blessings to you!



  20. Debra Winterrowd on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 10:18 am

    First, THANK YOU!! Your words are once again what I needed to hear! I’ve lived my life filled with hurt and feelings of unworthiness. At times I feel I’ve healed from it all, but then those feelings always seem to come creeping back up. I’ve realized that my heart is heavy, very heavy. I absolutely appreciate the tips. I did pray right away. I also feel I may need to put reminders around the house…reminders of who I am in Christ. I feel I’ve found forgiveness for those in my past but I am struggling with forgiving when still currently in the situation and unable to trust. I also greatly struggle with constantly being reminded of all of my shortcomings. Oh how i pray He will do a great work in me!! Thank you for sharing your journey. What hope it gives!



  21. Jan on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 10:31 am

    Thank you for your touching words this morning. I am now 58 years old and there is still one word that causes my heart to miss a beat and sometimes bring tears to my eyes….abortion. 30 years ago I also made a poor choice. I acknowledged my sin before God and know in my heart of hearts that I am forgiven. There are consequences for my sin…sadness and regret, but God has enabled me to move forward in my faith. God is amazing in how He can use our sin for His glory. THANKS BE TO GOD!



  22. Diane on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Thank you Tracie, I felt God was talking to me through your P31 Devotional today. Have a Bless day!



  23. Heather Bireley on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 11:00 am

    Thank you for be willing to share your story. There are days when I wonder if I really matter even though I have a wonderful husband and three great kids. I have struggled with my faith and at a time when we weren’t attending church my husband and I chose to go through with an abortion because we were utterly broke and had no where to turn. I look back and know that now it wasn’t the right choice but it was the only one that we felt we had at the time. I have never shared my story with anyone because I know how I would be looked at. Thank you for reminding us that we are forgiven no matter what.



  24. Terri on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 11:02 am

    I loved your post today, and my heart breaks for the women who still don’t feel forgiveness from God. I come from a different perspective. My mom had an abortion when she was 15. The guilt of it led to a nervous breakdown and subsequent hospitalization 14 years later in 1964, when she was pregnant with me. She came to accept God’s forgiveness, and she openly shared the lesson she learned from that experience with my sisters and I……….which was that she had to OWN her sin in order to be forgiven for it. She couldn’t really be sorry for something that she’d justified in a number of ways for those 14 years. Oh, she had been sorry for it, but it really hadn’t been HER fault for 14 years. She shared with us how God had pursued her for 14 years, in order to get her to the place of owning that sin, and she was SO grateful He had. Because until that time, she never felt forgiven for it, but she didn’t really know why. She’d committed many other sins over the years, and felt forgiveness when she’d asked for it. It was only the abortion that she never felt forgiven for. Once she admitted to God that she, and she alone, was responsible for that sin; no matter who paid for it, or who else benefited from her doing it, only THEN did she feel forgiven. Even at 15, she told us that she knew what she was doing was murder when she did it. She had rationalized that she could just ask God to forgive her ‘tomorrow’ and He would. She wasn’t counting on Him removing His forgiveness from her. She’d taken His forgiveness for granted, and she lost it…..until God brought her to the end of herself and face to face with her sin. Once she admitted it, in all it’s ugliness, and with no excuses or justification, she never carried that burden again. And she never took forgiveness for granted after that. Forgiveness hangs on true repentance, not repentance with conditions. I’m so thankful that she was brave enough to share her story with my sisters and I. Because she made herself vulnerable with us, I have always known God’s forgiveness. I’ll always be thankful to her for that. God made something beautiful from her ashes, and if you’re struggling, He can make beauty from your ashes as well!



  25. Lori on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Wow, that was my first thought when reading P31 this morning. I knew immediately what word you were talking about. I have been living that word for 34 years. I can related to the feeling of being a scared 19 year old. I was 18 when it happened to me and I did not know where to turn. I had just begun a college career and felt helpless. I wish to this day I had the courage to make a different decision. I am catholic and I finally found the courage this year to confess my sins to my priest during lent. Every time I hear the word Pro Life I felt like a failure in the eyes of God. I always knew he forgave me but I just could not believe it until I finally made that reconciliation before God this year. Thank you so much for your post today. It filled my heart to know that I am not alone in this battle to over come the guilt. God Bless you.



  26. Christy B on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 11:05 am

    I need to remember 1 Corinthians 13:5. I have made this into 3 post it notes. It was presented to me today that I keep taking it back from God. I need to leave it in his hands. He does not keep that record and I need to leave it as well. If anyone else is keeping that record nothing I can do to change them, God is all that matters. If he can forgive me than I can keep forgiving me.

    Amen



  27. Diane on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 11:46 am

    Thank you for sharing your story with all of us today so that others might find the healing you have found. I have not experienced the pain of abortion first hand but I can imagine that it must be very painful for a long, long time. Our culture does not bring that pain to light very often which I think is a disservice to all women. Thank you for your courage and for helping others through your words and testimony. God does have a plan for all of us and different journeys along life’s road. Accepting God’s forgiveness in your heart does bring great healing. May God touch all of those who are hurting today and in the years to come. Thank you for the work you do and for sharing your faith with us.



  28. NancyH on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 11:49 am

    This blog has stopped me in my tracks. Many years ago, I, too, had an abortion. I had just graduated from college and was beginning my new life, new career, new town. I felt like having a baby would ruin my life. Now 35 years later, I realize not having that child filled my life with many nights laying awake and in many ways, ruined my life. Now, I am finally letting God take over the direction in my life and I starting to feel like perhaps I am not a worthless person after all. Thank you so much for being open about your life. It’s helping me open mine.



  29. Sharon C. on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    I know this may sound dumb but I’ve never told anyone this. I had two beautiful children by my first husband. He was a cruel, mean man just like my dad. All I wanted is kids to love and love me back but since I never felt love I didn’t know what it was. I had to have my second child by C-section. He talked me into having a tubal. Even though I’ve never felt a physical abortion I have felt a mental one. I haven’t been able to forgive myself for the children I could have had. My husband now is a wonderful man that would have loved more kids. He has let me be the child I never got to be when I was a child. I’m glad your willing to share your story it will help so many women that have gone through the same thing. Being the bio person doesn’t exactly make you a dad or mom. He has been there in sickness and health for our 2. He considers them his and he is really the only dad they know even though their bio dad lives close by. Through this study I have realized that my life does count. I’m really thinking about starting a hair bow home business. I’ve been getting facts and information on it. I’ve found one online group that is willing and eager to share their valuable information on the subject. I would have never even thought of taking this step. Another thing is when we lost everything and moved up here we have been renting an apt. I got to figuring out how much we have paid out in the last 8 years for rent. We have paid $48,000 with nothing to show for it. I don’t know all the details in buying a home but I think it’s time to. I got so much encouragement from Your Life Still Counts facebook page.



  30. Shannon on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    Thank you for your courage to tell your story so other women are able to find the courage to heal from their past. For me, 1 Corinthians 13:5 says it all. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. I need to understand that God does not keep a record of our wrongs and I want to learn how to do the same. I want to be able to give my past to God and leave it in his hands.



  31. Sharron on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    Healing Hearts Ministries Int’l. is an abortion recovery ministry that I have been honored to be a leader in for the past nine years. “Binding Up the Broken-hearted” is the Bible study, written by Sue Liljenberg, that is used to walk post-abortive women to healing and freedom in Christ.
    http://www.healinghearts.org



  32. Brandi Farrow on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    I have struggled with shame since I was 17. Only a select few know that I had an abortion at that age. I know that if I had kept the child my life would be completely different than it is today. There’s so much that I wouldn’t have probably experienced. I know God loves me but when the thought creeps in my head of “what if” I always forget that.



  33. Suzette Buffa on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! God bless you for being so transparent. I write this with tear in my eyes, but feeling forgiven in my head. It is slowly making it’s way to my heart. Through your Online bible study and my Forgiven and Set Free group. After 28 years of carrying this guilt and shame I am ready to be SET FREE!!

    I would love to win this book. I already own it (paperback and Kindle form) but would gladly share this with a lady in my Forgiven and Set Free group.

    Please keep doing the work you do. You are transforming lives every day!!



  34. Darlene on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 2:46 pm

    I am so thankful for your openness. I know first hand that is not easy to go to those hard places and dig through your past. I am post abortion as well. For soooo many years I didn’t even dare to speak that word. I tried to bury my sin. My sin and the weight of it just grew more and more heads. So many women are struggling with the guilt and the shame of their past sin of abortion. Whether they have come to the realization or not of the wrongness of it. To not deal with it just allows the abortion to grow deeper roots in other relationships in your life. Women are hurting and they may not even know why they are hurting. Something has happened to them. Something that should not have happened to them. It is not in God’s order and no one wants to admit the trauma that a woman suffers emotionally. If soldiers suffer from PTSD after experiencing trauma from war then of course a woman/ teenage girl would experience PTSD from having her soul ripped wide open. You are exactly right when you say that God can take your bad and use it for Greatness. What the enemy chose for ammunition in his arsenal is going to backfire on him. I and many others like me have an advocate seated at the right hand of God who speaks on my behalf constantly. Now that I have attended the “Forgiven and Set Free” bible study I know that I am God’s ambassador for women who are struggling with the weight and guilt of their past abortion. I am no longer silent and I will continue to extend a hand to women who are stuck in that pit of shame.



  35. Kay on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    This devotion so touched me today. I finally figured out God had forgiven me for my abortions but I hadn’t forgiven myself. Through prayers with a blessed friend I am on the road to forgiving myself. I had no idea so many others were suffering with this.



  36. Patsy on Friday, April 10, 2015 at 10:45 pm

    Thank you for being so open and honest about a subject Satan wants to keep silent. For 25 years I lived with the deep dark secret of abortion. God brought me through forgiveness and healing, however there are so many women who haven’t yet experienced God’s healing from the scars of abortion. God bless you for speaking out. May many lives be changed as a result of your testimony.



  37. Janet on Saturday, April 11, 2015 at 8:55 am

    After 17 years I still feel that emptiness and shame. That word abortion…
    I know that I am forgiven but still have a hard time forgiving myself.



  38. Jessica S. on Saturday, April 11, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    As a 14 year old young woman, I had many sins to attone for. Lying to my parents, “dating ” 24 year old man and hiding my pregnancy from them all. I was ashamed. When I told the man he left me. When I told my dad he was angry as any father would be. He pressed charges against the “boyfriend ” which I know now was just a child predator. My father had me to the clinic two days after I told him. The procedure took two days. It was the most horrific experience ever.

    Ten years later, still not over my experience, I found out I was expecting twins. In my mind, I thought this was God ‘s way of forgiving me for my sins.

    I still think of what would of would have been.



  39. Jordan on Saturday, April 11, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    Your story hit very close to home for me. I too had an abortion at the age of19 and have never told a sole the truth about it. All anyone besides my parents and the guy I was with knows the truth I tell everyone I had a miscarriage. It is hard to talk about that part of my life and it hurts more and more each day especially when I listen to everyone talk about their kids. I know God forgives me for that time in my life but it’s hard to forgive myself. It is a wonderful blessing that we serve an amazing God that is willing to forgive us even though we disappoint Him every day. I love kids and want so badly to have my own kids one day. Until that day comes I will just love the ones I’m around and enjoy teaching the kids in children’s church of the amazing and awesome things our God does for us. It warms my heart to know that they too will learn how awesome God is in their lives. Thank you for telling your story and I would love to read your story to understand how you cope with your experience of abortion. It’s hard and I know I need to forgive myself because God has already forgiven me.



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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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