I Would Love To Hear From You This Week!

Hi friends! It’s apparent that I’ve been on an unannounced blogging break, but I do have a good excuse!

I’ve been working on my new book non stop due to a final manuscript deadline of November 1st. And I’m glad to say I completed the manuscript and got it turned in earlier than required! You will be hearing more about the book in the coming months and I’m excited (and a little anxious!) about seeing what God is going to do with this message He has given me.  The book (Currently titled Your Life Still Counts) will be released in the Fall of 2014, so we’ll have plenty of time to talk about it between now and then!

ballBut for now, my mind is already starting to think about what’s coming up in a just a few weeks – the holidays! For some of you, that statement may bring excitement as you think about the smell of fresh baked goodies, roasted turkeys, family gatherings, holiday shopping and festive decorating. While for others, the thought of the holiday season approaching might solicit a tsunami of stress and anxiety into your heart!

The good news is – we can all make it through the season together!

I’m putting together some special things for November and December and I hope you’ll make plans to get connected and involved. I’ll be hosting two conference calls which you can participate in so we can chat about managing holiday stress, and sharing some encouraging posts here and on other websites, and having some fun giveaways. I’ll be sharing all the details soon, so stay tuned!

In the meantime, I’d love to know your thoughts about the approaching holiday season. Such as:

– What aspects do you dread the most, or struggle with the hardest?

– What do you look forward to the most?

– What types of suggestions would you be interested in when it comes to managing holiday stress?

– What typically causes you the most anxiety? Or what brings the most joy?

Your questions and comments will help shape what we talk about on the upcoming conference calls and here on my blog this season, so hop over and visit me and leave your thoughts in the comments section!

 

41 Comments

  1. Jeanie Kelley on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:20 am

    What I dread the most is that this Christmas is going to fly by and we not really get what the holiday season means. Also remembering the loss of my dad. That will be another thing I will struggle with. What I will be looking forward to the most is that this Christmas will be a good one for us in a long time. With the loss of my husband’s job of September of last year we have struggled. So this will be a good one for us. Listening to Christian music during the rough spots and journaling the good times. The most anxiety is that I do not get what I need to get done during this time of year. The joy is seeing it on the faces of my husband and son.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:07 am

      Jeanie – that is so true – it always seems like the holidays come and go so quickly and before we know it, we have missed the time to really relax and enjoy. And losing loved ones always makes the next holiday hard. Thank you for sharing. These are great points that I’m sure many people can relate to.



  2. Patti Chriestenson on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:20 am

    I enjoy bringing crafts for the children in the family. Through the years I have provided stickers, paints/crayons/markers for Thanksgiving crafts or even a simple color sheet – like a turkey. Kids can put stickers on the turkey to make his feathers brighter. This activity gives children something to do inside if the weather is cold and it gives them a chance to be creative. Example: “BE Thankful! or Bee Thankful – color sheet with a flying bee on it – then they can think of things to be thankful to God for.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:07 am

      Great budget friendly idea, and a super way to keep kids occupied and not fighting! Love it. 🙂



    • Kelley VanVoorhis on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 11:27 am

      What a great idea! So much better for the kids to do this than electronics! Thanks!



  3. Susan on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Well my 18 year old gets embarrassed but I give free samples I obtain as stocking stuffers instead of spending money I don’t have. For example: McDonalds has free small coffee this week. I make my kid (the 18 year old is always called “the kid”) go with me and we both get black coffee {I drink them}. Here if you collect seven cup tabs you get a free medium coffee by handing them in {ongoing program instead of a coffee card}. So this week we are going two times a day hence when we collect a mega load of tabs, I will put them together for a free coffee for my family, for Christmas in their stockings! :>) (Stop laughing). It’s so resourceful don’t you think! It’s stress free when you think about it and it makes the family creative instead of commercialized!. Don’t forget who we are celebrating. Our promise to heaven is free. So should our coffee be. Just kidding. About the free coffee that is. Have a good hoiday.
    Sue



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:08 am

      Kids always make us fun for Susan, if not for one thing then for another! That is a great idea – most people love coffee, and it actually sounds like a lot of effort to keep up with that all year. So your gift of free coffee is actually a labor of love! Anything we do that takes effort, even moreso than money, is going to be appreciated by those who receive it.



  4. Ellen on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Hi Tracie~ Welcome back to the blog and congratulations on completing your book! What a great accomplishment and, hopefully, dream realized.

    I struggle with managing expectations. I grew up, figuratively, in the “Cleaver Household”. I had a wonderful childhood. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we had a lot of love. Mom & Dad always made holidays special and I LOVED Christmas. I loved the church services and decorating and the baking and the music and the presents…the whole thing. My husband did not have the same experience growing up…his father’s career often required him to work on holidays. His mother’s family all lived overseas. Christmas, I’ve been told, “is just another day”. Following in his dad’s footsteps and career path, my husband often works on holidays…so we’ve done our best to work around things. We’ll choose a different day to celebrate at home, etc. This has often left me home alone on Christmas. I try to keep my chin up and pretend that it’s all fine with me…but it’s hard. Since my parents are now both deceased, I feel very much alone over the holidays. Nonetheless, every year, I think…”Maybe this year will be different! Maybe this year we’ll work it out so that we can recapture that special feeling that only Christmas can bring”. And, every year, I’ve been disappointed.

    This all sounds very “Oh, woe is me”. I am certainly aware that I have SO MUCH to be grateful for! There are so many in the world who have struggles that make mine pale in comparison. But, I think that managing expectations might be a good topic for your blog posts about preparing for the holiday season.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:11 am

      Thank you Ellen! You hit the nail on the head with this one – managing expectations of how we think holidays should be or how we want them to be is a common thread so many people share. It doesn’t sound ‘woe is me’ at all, but rather sounds like something I can relate to for sure! Holidays have always been important in my family so I also have expectations that often dont get met. We will definitely be talking about this subject.



      • Ellen on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 1:50 pm

        Awesome! Thanks Tracie. I will look forward to it.



  5. Melissa on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:24 am

    I enjoy so much about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Most of all, getting together with family and friends. I already have been playing Christmas music. Our church is preparing for a new Pastor and that is great news! Decorating home and church, listening to Christmas music, sharing times with famiy and friends and preparing Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes are a few things that make me happy during the holidays.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:12 am

      You are a woman of my own heart. I usually start playing Christmas music before November and it drives my kids crazy. But to each her own, right?! My favorite part of the holidays is get togethers as well and all of the special holiday baking I do, which I rarely do during the year.



  6. Jessica F on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:27 am

    What I dread the most about Christmas is being away from my sisters and the rest of my family in CA and overseas. I struggle with creating new memories for my kids and my husband. My kids also wish that we were back in CA. I look forward to visiting with friends and decorating the house with the kids and listening to Christmas music. I would like to learn how to manage feeling “blue” because I don’t have my sisters around. I don’t want to influence my kids with my sadness. It cause me anxiety when it comes to buying gifts because we are struggling financially.

    Thank You! and looking forward to your new book.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:14 am

      Jessica – that would be hard and so many people have far too many miles between them to make getting together during the holidays a reality. Loneliness or feeling blue can come about in many ways during the holidays but distance is certainly a popular factor. Then add on the costs of gift buying and shipping, and the blues can sink even deeper. Great points for us to consider this season. Thank you for sharing!



  7. Kim on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:31 am

    – The hardest part of the holidays for our family is everyone’s schedules. We have split families and trying to coordinated everyone’s schedules can be stressful.

    – I love the holidays and look forward to some of our “family traditions”. Last year I talked with the kids and asked them which traditions they liked and wanted to keep and which ones they didn’t seem to care much about so we could eliminate or add traditions.

    – I’d love to hear about more practical ways to managing holiday stress. Maybe like baking/cooking tips for things you can make ahead and freeze and time line for keeping things fresh and ways to defrost.

    – The most anxiety for us comes from trying to please everyone (who we visit on the actual holiday day – especially since there is too big of a distance to travel to all)
    – The most joy for me comes from being able to spend time with the kids and just relaxing with them.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:16 am

      Kim – great suggestion about having a family meeting and talking about the importance of certain traditions. Sometimes traditions do need to change as the family grows or kids age, so thats a great stress-preventer. Practical baking tips is a great topic idea – I love to cook but think I might have to solicit some expert input on that one! I too have been in the position of which family member to disappoint on Christmas day because we cant be everywhere at once – thanks for bringing that up.



  8. June Chapko on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:31 am

    I thoroughly love decorating three unique Christmas trees in our home…the memory tree in the living room, the tea tree in my little tea room, and the Czech tree in honor of my husband’s heritage. This year I am dealing with a lot of physical pain due to arthritis, fibromyalgia and joint problems. I’ve been through injections, P/T and still suffer a lot of pain. I’m afraid it will take the joy away that I have in doing the decorating. I ask God to give me strength for the day to accomplish what I must do and all that He calls me to do. I do most of it in pain. It’s just that I don’t want to lose my joy in the season because of pain.



  9. tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:19 am

    I have three trees too in my home – But have to admit sometimes I get stressed out and worn out trying to get them all decorated! But we do enjoy them all season long. My sister often deals with this issue so I appreciate you bringing it up. It is hard to do what we want to do when our bodies don’t want to cooperate. Thank you for commenting and I pray that God blesses you with minimal pain and limitations this season.



  10. Tricia on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 11:17 am

    The past five years have been tough b/c my mother, stepdad & I are going through a rough time. They are struggling with many personal issues & the past few years we’ve had a major blowup that has led to our not spending the holidays together. While it makes me sad, I know that it is best for us to be apart. I do enjoy being with my husband & his family, so I try to focus on that & visiting with good friends. I look forward to time off of work, Christmas music & movies, special foods, and the fabulous Christmas service at my church. I would love suggestions for addressing unrealistic expectations of the holiday season & dealing with family members who think we should just forget ugly things that have happened & have a picture-perfect holiday season. (We’ve tried that before & it just ruins the holidays.) I get the most anxiety from dealing with family members. I get the most joy from spending time w/ my husband, my dogs & my in-laws and celebrating the holidays at my school. We have precious & wonderful celebrations for Thanksgiving & Christmas.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 7:35 pm

      Tricia – you are certainly not alone in your struggles, so many people have difficult family dynamics and the holidays just exacerbate the problem. Thank you for your transparency! But it sounds like you derive joy from a lot of different things this time of the year so I hope they fill your heart up!



  11. Chrissy on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 11:52 am

    My favorite times for the holidays are spending time with family, especially doing the family traditions with my husband and two little girls, such as cutting our own Christmas tree, driving around at night with hot cocoa to see all the holiday lights in nearby neighborhoods with Christmas music playing in the car, baking cookies. My biggest stress comes from a personality flaw I have – perfectionism. I want everything to be perfect, to look perfect, and so everything follows that, so you can imagine it applies to almost every aspect of the holidays, including our fun activities! I also struggle with gift giving in that way as well, which I think brings me the most anxiety – what do I get people, will they like it, how much should I spend, what if I don’t spend enough???? I think that if I follow your advice from your Stressed Less Living book, and keep my focus on God and the real reason of the holiday seasons, and spend time with God each day, this year may be a little less stressful. But I’ll still use my Christmas Planner book to keep my organized!



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 7:37 pm

      Perfectionism can certainly be a hurdle, especially at the holidays. But if God doesnt expect us to be perfect, we shouldnt expect it of ourselves! Thanks for sharing this challenge as Im sure many women can relate.



  12. Kristen on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    I love christmas time. I try to keep it low key. I look foward to celebrating the birthday of my baby girl who will be 1!



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 7:38 pm

      Christmas with a one year old – stressful? Of course not 🙂 It will be a blessed time for sure!



  13. S on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 2:10 pm

    Well, where do I began???? I feel so much stress because I want every Christmas to be the BEST ONE EVER!! I want everything to be perfect, the perfect gifts, my house to be totally decorated, the house to smell of delicious cookies and cinnamon, everyone to express love and happiness, on and on. This year, my husband is not able to work much due to health problems, I am working two jobs and for the first time ever, I am not sure we can be able to get gifts for people and maybe not even our teen daughter. So that is a huge stress for me. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday but this year I am dreading it! I take great joy in Christmas music, old Christmas movies, visiting friends, going to midnight church service. But my favorite day is the day after Christmas when it is all over and we can finally relax.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 7:40 pm

      Finances are always a universal problem – but remembering that our love can outshine any store bought gift is sometimes the best comfort we can find. Our kids dont remember the gifts they get each year, but they do remember the feelings of happiness and joy. Like you said, we can still find pleasure and peace and lots of things that dont cost a dime!



  14. Susan Tilney on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    For my husband and I, there is very little stress over the holidays. Having moved away from the bulk of our family and friends, we are usually only five at the holidays although we do invite folks we know to join us. Thanksgiving has traditionally been our biggest holiday with the most participants even since our move. This year, because we’ll be traveling the day after, it will be scaled back and much simpler so that everything can be put away before we hit the road at 4 a.m. the morning after. We set aside for Christmas all year and we do keep it simple so there’s no stress there either. For us, it’s about the holiday being Christ centered, simple and family oriented. We do have three birthdays thrown into the mix Dec. 11, Dec. 27 and Jan. 3 so the schedule gets busy but, as long as we keep it simple, we truly have an opportunity to enjoy all the celebrations.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 7:41 pm

      Susan that sounds like a beautiful holiday plan – sounds like we could all take tips from you!



  15. Brittany on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    I would love to be able to slow down and enjoy my family. I love the Christmas shopping, holiday meals, and the thought of spending time with my family, but I never really seem to slow down. I am always mentally going and want to be able to relax with my kids and husband.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 7:42 pm

      Very true Brittany – despite all the crowds, I love holiday shopping too and tend to stay busy. Great reminder though to just simply take time to relax! Sometimes we need to ink in ‘relaxation’ into our holiday planners.



  16. Heather on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    I find it hard spending time with family who have little interest in the real meaning of Christmas. It often means that Christmas Day has very little Christian content. It makes me feel sad and stressed especially when I see the effect it has on my parents. I feel like I am the go between trying to keep everyone happy and make sure no one is offended or upset. It takes away some of the enjoyment of looking forward to it. Just have to keep praying for those in my family who need to know the Lord.



    • tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:30 pm

      Oh Heather that would be so hard. We all need to pray for each other and pray that any loved ones who dont know the Lord will discover Him. All we can do in these situations is as you said, keep praying for them and trying to find joy in Christ, and not just our surroundings.



  17. Heidi on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    I have never really enjoyed holidays. My family doesnt get along well so even when we do get together there is always tension. I’m a newly single mom and want my young son to really know the meaning of the holiday but it isn’t much fun with just him and myself. I don’t like how Christmas seems to be about, here is my list of what I want so don’t get me anything that’s not on this list. It’s too commercialized and focuses on money. I could go on and on but will stop with that.



  18. tmiles on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Heidi – thank you for being honest! I know you are not alone in your feelings. The holidays are way too commercialized and it can zap our desire to participate at all. However we can choose to make Christ a priority in our homes even when the world doesnt. And even when our families are small, we can focus on all the good things to enjoy about the season and eat up every second of time with the ones we are blessed with. I have no doubt you will be able to raise your son with his priorities straight about Christmas!



  19. monica on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    I dread the most is watching people forget the true meaning of Christmas. It’s now all about who spends the most. Who gives the biggest gift.



    • tmiles on Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 8:13 am

      Monica- it does sometimes feel that way. Its easy to get in a gift competition year after year and lose sight of the real meaning of Christmas. Its a habit that can be broken but is not always easy, especially when its a whole family concept. Thanks for your heart!



  20. Mary T on Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 1:27 am

    Tracie, so happy to see your blog post in my email today! Congrats on the manuscript! Can’t wait to read your book! About the holidays…I always approach them with no other expectations than to be thankful on Thanksgiving for family, friends, and the many blessings God has bestowed upon us just like every day, only eating a very special shared turkey dinner! And for Christmas, to remember that God gave us the most beautiful promise of new life when Jesus was born and to remind others, just like every day, only we will celebrate His birth with the beauty of Christmas decorations, special celebrations of Masses, and sharing His love with family, friends and others in need.
    This year, I have created an annual fundraiser breakfast in conjunction with a blood drive, so named “WISE UNION – Giving Thanks by Giving Back” in memory of one of the two students in my class that Jesus called home last year…Eddie! Eddie was born on Christmas Eve in 2006 and passed away on Thanksgiving morning , 2012! Eddie brought great joy to all whose lives he touched! He taught many about spirit, strength and perseverance… never giving up! This event has united our community members, public service employees, administrators, community leaders (politicians…lol!), and businesses in a way that only God could orchestrate! There is no greater blessing to me than to do His will and share His love! I am truly blessed! “Holidays! Here I am!”



    • tmiles on Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 8:11 am

      Mary – what a wonderful description of how the holidays should be viewed. With the heart, and not with the eyes. And how precious you are to found such a project in Eddie’s name. What a blessing to see how the loss of life can bring an entire community together and point people to Jesus. 🙂



  21. Carissa D. Huffman on Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 9:00 am

    I am most stressed about scraping together the money to do the play we normally attend, the presents for my son and nephews, and still find a way to do something for New Year’s Eve. I also think about the babies I lost via miscarriage during this time of year. I wonder what it would be like to have 2 or 3 kids here on earth instead of my one (who desperately wants a baby sister, I might add). I do have family who really don’t celebrate the meaning behind the season, and I worry that it may rub off on my currently Jesus-loving little boy.

    I actually love how happy and excited my 4 year old son is about decorating, singing songs and cooking treats. He is so into everything. I love that I am able to take time off and spend extra time with my husband and son.

    I would love to have less stress and focus more on the joyous things.

    Carissa in eastern Iowa



  22. Ruth on Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 9:53 am

    I am both looking forward to and dreading the holidays. I have two daughters and my husband has a daughter and son, each from a previous marriage. They are all grown and have children and grandchildren of their own. My two daughters are estranged to say the least. My older daughter has made many bad choices in her life, some included time in jail. She and my younger daughter were never close, even in growing up. My younger daughter and her family are planning to be here for Thanksgiving. They live about ten hours from us. My son-in-law, & husband enjoy deer hunting together. I am so looking forward to seeing them, especially my precious grandchildren ages 6 through 10 mos. My older daughter is now living in a town about an from us. She is trying to get her life on track. She has no transportation. I would hate to exclude her from our Thanksgiving, but also realize the uneasy feeling to say the least that comes with her being there with others. I would have to go get her and take her home, which would take away from time spent with everyone else. She is working and I work full time plus take orders for cakes, pies, sourdough bread etc. for the holidays. This means I would have to go Thanksgiving morning to get her and take her back that night so we can both be at work Fri.

    My husband’s family is also estranged to the point his son will not be in the same place as his daughter. Our grandson, his son’s boy, is planning to be here for the holidays so he can hunt with his Pop. The son said they will be here unless our grandson is playing in a championship football game at that time. This excludes a chance to invite my husband’s daughter.

    They all live from one to ten hrs. from us, so we don’t see any of them very often. I would love to see all of them, but can’t because of longstanding problems between them. I will say both my daughters were at our home this past Thanksgiving, but the older one lived in the same town then and was only there for a short time. When she arrived, we were playing a game and invited her to join in. She did and the conversation of the game helped relieve the stress. It would be an all day thing for her to come this year because of having to pick her up and take her home. That’s a total of 4 hrs. travel time on my part on a very busy day!

    I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or exclude them if possible, but I don’t know how I can manage this. I mainly need your prayers, but would also appreciate any help in making decisions.



  23. Susan on Thursday, October 31, 2013 at 10:45 am

    I am so looking forward to seeing your posts in the days ahead – I love the holidays, the meanings of them, the decorations, the special church services and events. But it can also be very hard – missing the people who we won’t be with over the holidays. We won’t be able to be with our son – -and we need to do a lot of juggling to get to see the grandkids.
    Some of the suggestions I would like to see is how to deal with the loneliness.



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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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