I admit it, I have been feeling helpless lately.
My seventeen year old daughter has struggled with migraines since she was little, but since they had become much less frequent over the past year, we had hoped she was finally outgrowing them.
Unfortunately that was not the case. For the past few months, she has been struck with many debilitating headaches, several per week, causing her to miss a lot of school. As a mom, of course I worry about her school work and her grades, but there is a much bigger emotion that I have been struggling with – a sense of helplessness.
I cant help her, and I hurt for her. It breaks my heart to watch her lie in bed, with arms and legs tremoring, and unable to open her eyes for fear of the pain the light will bring. And just as much as I hurt, I am consumed with feeling helpless.
Helpless to fix the problem. Helpless to make her feel better.
Helpless to do anything at all – and that sense of helplessness has heightened over the past few weeks, as I have been trying without success to get her medical records transferred from our old pediatric neurologist, to a new one who had been highly recommended.
Helpless, in the hands of people who did not know me, or my daughter, much less feel the sense of urgency that I felt to get her records transferred.
Helpless, at the mercy of strangers who continued to explain their policies, procedures and red tape requirements, rather than help speed up the process to get my daughter the help she needed.
Helpless. So I continued to pray for help from the One who is never helpless.
I had been told weeks ago by the new neurologist, that once the infamous day came when they finally did have all of Morgan’s past medical records in hand, that it would take several weeks, if not months, to get a scheduled appointment.
Yesterday morning I went upstairs to Morgan’s bedroom to wake her up for church, only to find her trembling little body buried under the covers once again.
Immediately, I am overcome with familiar feelings of helplessness. Selfishly, I am overcome with frustration and exhaustion, and a twinge of anger – not at her – but at the situation. Then I am overcome with guilt for having those feelings – and feel even more helpless as we face another long day.
After spending twelve hours trapped in the darkness of her room by the pain that she has no control over, I went upstairs to check on her one last time before going to bed. And I cried out to the only One who could help.
I prayed that the records and referrals would all be sent over by today. I prayed that God would instill compassion in an employee’s heart at the doctor’s office, and compel them to act quickly on our behalf.
I prayed that whenever I did call the new doctor for the first appointment, that they could fit us in quickly, even though I had been blatantly told that was not a possibility.
I prayed for peace in this situation, and to help me trust Him.
I woke up this morning, and paced around the house until the digital clock showed exactly 8:30am, then immediately begin calling the medical offices.
Good news – success. All records were finally transferred due to a sweet woman who put our case at the top of her priority list. Answered prayer #1. I thanked her explicitly, hung up, and called the new neurologist.
The nurse put me on hold while checking the schedule, and then she came back with more good news…. “This is highly unusual, but we just had a cancellation, so there is an appointment available tomorrow at 9:00am. Can you come at that time?” Answered prayer #2.
Needless to say, I jumped on that appointment faster than a cat on a hot tin roof! Then I hung up the phone, and prayed, thanking God for helping me, when I felt helpless on my own.
I was reminded that He is our Helper. I felt peace and assurance. Answered prayer #3.
You see, God used this tiny intervention to reassure me that when I recognize my need for His help, in big and small things, the door is opened for Him to intervene.
Maybe you are facing a seemingly hopeless situation, and feel you have exerted all the human energy you have, with no positive results. Join me in lifting up the below prayer. Let it be the song of your heart today, no matter what big or small problem you may be facing. Our Helper is only a prayer away.
Thank you Lord for reminding me that with You, I am not helpless. You do care about the struggles we face, the heartaches we endure, and the details of our lives. Help me embrace a peace of mind, but also a peace of heart, knowing that even when we I am feeling helpless in my human abilities, You are there to help in your divine power. Thank you for showing me, once again, that with You, all things really are possible.