The Importance of Intimacy in a Marriage

Wow ladies! I’m so excited about the response to Tuesday’s P31 devotion and blog post, and thrilled at the enthusiasm and anticipation for the Your Life Still Counts Bible Study! (picture me here, smiling from ear to ear, plus super happy emoji).  If you didn’t enter to win a YLSC Gift Pack worth $35 yet, there’s still time! Just click here to enter on Facebook.

But let’s switch gears for just a moment.  Last week I shared my thoughts about 50 Shades of Grey and how the story line of this book/movie is so far removed from real love and intimacy that it not only damages our hearts, souls and minds, but also has the potential to damage marriages and families. Most of you agreed, and a few didn’t, but either way – I still love all my sisters in Christ! We all have to make our own choices and decisions and let the Holy Spirit be our ultimate guide about right and wrong.

Today though, I want to share something I think we’ll all agree on – that true intimacy needs to be purposely kept alive in a marriage, whether you’ve been married thirty days or thirty years. There are many loving ways to romance your spouse and accomplish that feat, sometimes we just need to be reminded of the importance of doing them.

In case you’re thinking I have the perfect marriage – don’t. Yes I love my husband dearly. And yes he loves me. But we’ve been married almost 25 years, and well, the spark is not always there and we don’t always feel like being best friends or being intimate. Just keeping it real folks.

We also have the added factor that he is usually only home on the weekends due to business travel, so let’s face it, that makes keeping intimacy alive a little more challenging. But it doesn’t keep it from being important.

Maybe your husband doesn’t travel much, but life, kids, busyness, disagreements, financial worries, lack of communication, hormones, work or feeling like you’ve grown apart is preventing intimacy from happening like it did in the earlier days of your marriage. In any case, when ignored, the lack of intimacy can cause long term problems in any relationship.

A few years ago I met Rick Johnson, the founder of BetterDads.net,  at an Iron Sharpens Iron Conference in Connecticut where we were both speaking. Afterwards, I read a copy of his book The Man Whisperer, and it not only opened my eyes to the power of my words,  and changed the way I spoke to my hubby, but it helped our relationship and improved our marriage. When I made some changes, I immediately saw a change in him and our relationship. Who knew, my husband wasn’t the only one who needed a little work? Smiles.

So when Rick released a new book recently called Romancing Your Better Half: Keeping Intimacy Alive In Your Marriage, I was excited to read it. This book holds lots of truths about this important topic of marital intimacy and romance in a marriage – which is often a subject many men and women want to avoid. In fact, maybe you’re feeling a little anxious right now as you read this post, secretly thinking that nothing in you wants to focus on this subject.

But the good news is, this book isn’t just for women, but men as well. So wife nor hubby has to feel like they’re being singled out as the trouble maker. In fact, it really focuses on the importance of marriage overall, and how much attention both spouses need to give to their marriages, and to each other, especially based on God’s will for a husband and wife.

Rick said on page 31 of Romancing Your Better Half that “our culture is actively promoting the message that divorce is not bad and in fact, marriage might not even be good. It is becoming politically incorrect to even use the word marriage.”  So sad, but so true. The only way to set ourselves apart from the divorce epidemic is to make our marriage a priority, even when we don’t feel like it or don’t think our spouse deserves it, and intimacy (physical and emotional) has to be a priority.

Have you been longing for more intimate time with your spouse, more physical affection, better communication, or a stronger friendship? I know those are things I certainly always long for, especially when I haven’t seen my husband in a while or even when we’re together but distracted, busy or just not getting along  – and maybe you do too.

One section I found particularly interesting were Rick’s tips on ‘How To Divorce Proof Your Marriage’ – simple tips, just ones we don’t always think about, however, ones that really make a difference:

  • make your marriage your highest priority
  • learn good communication skills; be willing to talk to your spouse about what’s bothering them
  • attend a marriage workshop (or read a marriage book, go to a marriage bible study, etc.)
  • get professional marital help earlier than later, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about
  • think about your own negative behaviors and try to stop doing them
  • keep your sexual relationship alive
  • do kind and caring things every day

Rick also shared this statement below which stuck out to me, and is one us wives and our men need to take very seriously:

“Lack of romance and intimacy shrivels our wives like succulent roses left in the scorching heat of the unrelenting sun in the desert of a passionless heart. Men who do not intimately and romantically pursue their wives become apathetic, complacent, and overly involved in work or hobbies.”

Been there, done that. Years ago, even recently. It’s no fun. And it can hurt. But I do believe that over time, a deliberate attempt to build intimacy results in a better marriage overall, and renders a happy couple who can withstand the trials better and protect themselves from becoming a statistic in the divorce epidemic.

Screen Shot 2015-02-11 at 5.47.00 PMMarriage is hard. No doubt about it. But sometimes God brings things into our paths at just the right time, don’t ya think? And I so appreciate the wisdom in Rick’s book and the honesty he shares, and I think you will too.

 

We may never know why things happen to us or why we have to struggle in our marriages, sometimes making us feel like giving up. But if there’s one thing we do know, it’s that all marriages are worth fighting for in God’s eyes. He sees us, He sees what we’re going through, and He cares. All God calls us to do is trust Him, surrender our marriages to Him, and give it all we have in His strength alone, while believing He always holds our future in His hands, no matter what.

I’ve got a copy of Rick’s book to give away today and entering to win is easy!

Just leave a comment simply sharing how many years you’ve been married. But feel free to share any thoughts on this subject if you want to.

LEAVE A COMMENT TO ENTER TO WIN

 

Rick’s ministry is a great resource for men who want to be the best dad and husband they can be. Check out Rick’s website at BetterDads.net.

If you’re interested in getting a copy of Rick Johnson’s book for you and your man to read through together,  click here for more info. 

 

 

 

148 Comments

  1. Angie on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 7:43 am

    Married almost 20 years! Would love to read this book! Thanks for sharing! ❤️



    • Carol on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 4:37 am

      Married 40 years this coming May,11 children,8 grandchildren…the Lord is good and His LOVE endures forever.Great is HIS FAITHFULNESS…Have a Blessed day as you draw near to the footstool of His divine mercy seat…Soak in His Presence… Be refreshed…For He who has begun the good work within will complete it…



    • Mary on Monday, March 2, 2015 at 6:00 pm

      Just celebrated 26 years. I told my husband that marriage would be easier if you could start out with 25 years under your belt.



  2. Shannon on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:03 am

    14 years!



    • Kelli Drye on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      18.5 years!!



  3. Sharon on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:15 am

    14 years!



  4. Dawn on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:18 am

    We’ve been married just over 5 years. We were both 41 when we married and very set in our ways. We have a 4 year old; everyone says parenting is hard. Parenting is the easy part. Marriage is hard!! Would love a copy of this book. Thanks! 🙂



  5. Tara on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:18 am

    Almost 7 years! Would love to read this!!



  6. Michelle on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:19 am

    20 years. Our marriage is totally lacking intimacy. We are at a point where we just co exist in the same house. God is convicting me that I need to make an effort to change this. Would love to read this book!



  7. Jessa on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:19 am

    Married 5 years now. Really need to read this book. Intimacy has been gone for awhile. It’s so sad.



  8. Dede on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:23 am

    Almost 30 years! Wow, I feel old.



  9. Helen on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:24 am

    Married 31 years. Several times felt like I wanted to walk away, recently too. Not where I thought my marriage or life would be at this stage. But I love my husband and consider him my best friend.



  10. Gena on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:25 am

    14 years on March 10!! Only getting better as time goes on!



  11. Belinda on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:26 am

    31 years! The last 3 years have been the hardest with challenges and discoveries about my spouse that I would have never imagined. We have been working on our marriage with many faith based methods and it is hard to not fall back into your set ways! Would love to have another book of examples!



  12. shandyn on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:27 am

    We just celebrated 5 years in January. The first 3 years were really really hard but each day is getting easier. I’m glad to be going through life with my best friend. We have two beautiful boys that keep our lives busy and full of joy! Each day we work towards a better marriage and being positive influences for our kids….some days are harder than others. 🙂



  13. Shiela on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:29 am

    We will be married 25 yrs in May. We are in a season in our marriage where we would benefit greatly from this resource.



  14. Sheila on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:31 am

    Been married 27 years!



  15. Julie S on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:32 am

    27 years 8 months (in a few hours) 🙂



  16. Kate on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:32 am

    11 years on March 5!



  17. Rebecca Verdugo on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:36 am

    Married 21 years. I can relate to a lot of those bullet points in Rick ‘ s book. We don’t even sleep in same room. My husband works nights and I work days. We see each other Friday – Sundays. We have had many marital struggles. I am very involved in church and he goes on sunday only.



  18. Ann on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:37 am

    Sounds like a wonderful book! After 30 challenging years of marriage and trying to work on “us,” I’m just now hearing God’s still, small voice whispering that I have been the selfish one. Not easy to face this, but I am blessed to have a husband who is committed and patient and generous of spirit.



  19. Kelly on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:38 am

    20 years ❤️



  20. Jhondee on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:41 am

    13 years



  21. Lana on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:49 am

    Married 16 years 🙂



  22. Stacy K on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:53 am

    I have been married for 25 years in June. It has been good and bad but when we first got married we made a pact to never go to bed mad at each other…. It has really helped!!!! We have learned to agree to disagree as well!! Would love a copy of the book as my hubby is now traveling for work and we have never had that dynamic before…,



  23. Karen on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:53 am

    11 years. Holt8655@gmail.com



  24. Ellen Cole on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:53 am

    Married 22 years. Like you, my husband works away from home…so we’re only together on the weekends. It’s challenging, and we lost our way for a time…but we are in a good place now and are making our marriage our top priority again.



  25. Shelly on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:59 am

    We will be married 10 years on Tuesday!



  26. Tracy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:00 am

    We have been married 25 years.



  27. Lisa Haines on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:03 am

    2-1/2 years. Finishing the “5 love languages” and this book will be next! Boy, do I need it!
    Thanks!



  28. Tiffany Farmer on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:03 am

    I have been married 6 years in March! This is exactly what I needed to hear and need to focus on.



  29. Jill D. on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:04 am

    21 years! Always room for improvement!



  30. Alissa on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:06 am

    9.5 years 🙂



  31. Kristin P on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:06 am

    10 years I love my husband dearly but intimacy has been lacking for a long time. First due to addiction & now health issues. as I work on myself I see more & more I have been focusing on my husband’s faults. & seeing the need to work on my own. I would love a copy of your book because both my husband The two of us having experienced abuse in our childhoods we don’t know what true intimacy is or purity. But I know God can make new.



  32. Jodie Wilt on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:08 am

    I have been married for 8 years will love reading this book



  33. Sandee Clarkson on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:09 am

    31 years



  34. Tracy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:14 am

    I was married for 14 years…. And all in this post is so true. Treasure and nurture the connection. You get out of it what you put into it… Right?



  35. Kristen on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:15 am

    11 years. 3 kids: a baby, preschooler and 1st grader Its been so hard keeping our marriage alive through pregnancies and the new-baby stage, but God has been good as we’ve prayed over it. But intimacy? The time and privacy are non-existent!



  36. Janis on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:16 am

    We have been married for just 15 years this past November. We so need God’s help! I need God’s help for this marriage to survive. Addiciton, lack of intimacy, and yoked with a non-believer has me feeling like a hamster in a wheel. Thank you so much for this today!



  37. Jane on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:26 am

    Thank you for always pointing me back to the biblical answers. We have been in a season of trials & testing for 5 years and only by obeying God’s way and His grace are we growing as individuals and a couple. After 20+ years of marriage, we are learning to communicate. As we face on of our toughest trials now; I pray that God and His instruction will draw us to Himself and to each other.



  38. Holly on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:32 am

    We’ve been married almost 13 years. I’m thinking I need to read both books!



  39. Anna on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:36 am

    21 years to my high school sweetheart!



  40. Susan Ruffa on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:37 am

    Sounds like a perfect book. I have been divorced for the last 13 years and a single Mom to 14 year old twins. I hope to find a Godly man to share my life with in the future. This book sure could help me! Thanks for the chance to win!



  41. Eileen on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:38 am

    Married almost 14 years, together for almost 20! Would love this book 🙂



  42. Jay on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:43 am

    Almost 5 years. We really need this book, the quote you shared is truth and it does hurt…..hurting now. I really NEED this book!



  43. Cynthia L on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:43 am

    almost 16 years….and your timing is perfect Tracie. I’ve been thinking we need a bible study on marriage and intimacy as things are not as they were 16 years ago!
    Thanks for your wonderful, well-said words that are so encouraging to me.



  44. heather on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:44 am

    25 years <3



  45. Ashley on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:44 am

    Married 5 yrs, Hasnt been easy but we arent ready to give up. Would love to read the book.



  46. Danette Kaufman on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Been married 23 years and need this book!! It is so true about the Rose, I have been talking to God a lot about our marriage and asking him to take it, this book has come at a perfect time!



  47. Rebecca on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:49 am

    15 years. Think about divorce all th time. Struggling through. One day at a time.



  48. Courtney on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:51 am

    21 years



  49. Amy Finley on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Thank you so much for this post today. God’s timing is amazingly perfect. I am struggling with this issue right this minute! My husband is reaching out for that intimacy and I have to take a hard look at myself and give him better. I’d love to win this book!



  50. Mary Beth on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:52 am

    26 years



  51. Liz on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:53 am

    We will be married for 27 years on 2/27!!!! For the first time ever, we are taking a tropical trip:). I would love to read this book!



  52. Diane on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:53 am

    I have been married 33 years and I would love this book!



  53. Kathie on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:54 am

    Will be married 30 years in December. Glad to know we’re not the only ones struggling to keep it alive. The last few years have been especially difficult and feel like I should just walk away to make life easier for him. Sometimes it feels like we are just friends living in the same house, doing our own thing and sharing expenses. There is no romance or intimacy; spiritually, emotionally and physically. We’ve both made many mistakes but I think I’ve been more of the problem than I’ve been willing to admit. I need to learn that I have to do my part and let God work on him. It’s just so hard when I base my actions, words and attitudes on what he does or says, instead of what I know is right. He just had surgery and will be home up to the next three months and I work at home with day care. So it would be a good time for us to go through this book together.



  54. Dawn Deare on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:58 am

    We will celebrate 20 years in April. Our marriage is strong but intimacy has always been a hard thing for me. I would love to read this book and am well aware that I am the one who needs the most change.



  55. Vonnie Kronk on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:00 am

    Been married 35 years this May! I was very young when we got married & kinda got thrown into my husband’s hands & he was then & still is a Very good God loving man so I felt truly loved for the 1st time & God’s hand brought us together. Our love has gone thru some very trying times over these years & Even right now is a test since I am handicap due to a Brain Injury accident. Would love to get ways I could keep the intimacy growing.



  56. Dale Hochevar on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:01 am

    My husband and I will be married 40 years in November. I soooooo need this book right now!



  57. Joetta Pritt on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:03 am

    31 years!



  58. Karen on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:05 am

    27 years … and like the quote from the book, “Lack of romance and intimacy shrivels our wives like succulent roses left in the scorching heat of the unrelenting sun in the desert of a passionless heart. Men who do not intimately and romantically pursue their wives become apathetic, complacent, and overly involved in work or hobbies.” … Sadly, this was my marriage and it was lonely. My husband betrayed our marriage vows, filed for divorce and chose not to seek counseling. … In my brokenness Tracie, God began to woo me as his bride and I surrendered my heart to him. And for that I feel blessed. I trust God knows my heart and will bless me with a Godly man next time; one who can love me the way the book, “Romancing Your Better Half” describes. It looks like a read that I might pass on to my newly married daughter so that she doesn’t make the same mistakes her parents made!



  59. Jeanie Benson on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:05 am

    Thank you for this post. My husband and I have been married for 19 years. He works 12 hour shifts with 2 weeks days and 2 weeks nights. I can tell when he is on night shift, our relationship does not seem to be as strong.

    I would love to read this book. Thank you for the opportunity!



  60. Cindy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:10 am

    18 years !



  61. Karen Legall on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:24 am

    19 years married and need lots of help as intimacy and marriage is not important to my husband.



  62. Lynn on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:38 am

    We have been married 27+ years and have found that when we make intimacy a priority we get along much better! Life’s busyness makes it easy to forget this at times.



  63. Debby Stephens on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:45 am

    I would love to read this book. Being in a new marriage at 58 there are many adjustments. I am married to a man who lays his life down for me each day. I would love to learn how to love him as deeply as he loves me. Having gone through a divorce after 27 years of marriage I have a heart for marriage and help keeping marriages together. Its so easy to throw in the towel when something might look better. Thank you for your vulnerably on your blog. Keeping it real!!!



  64. Janice on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:46 am

    We have been married 42 years and lately intimacy has not been a priority and I can see the difference in our marriage. I don’t want that to happen and I hope this book can give me a new perspective on how to solve this problem.



  65. Cathy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 10:50 am

    28 years!



  66. Martha Reed on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:01 am

    13 years, I really need this book I want out but I do not want to hurt God. Need your prayers and all the help you can give.



  67. Margie on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:01 am

    27 years, and I could REALLY use the information in this book!!! Thank you!!



  68. Lauren Jolly on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Married 5 years this June 19th! Sometimes it still feels like yesterday 🙂 Would love to read this book, lately I’ve been so convicted of how integral intimacy is and the damage a lack thereof can do in a marriage!



  69. Charlotte on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:05 am

    44 years. I plan to read the book!



  70. Lynn W. on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:06 am

    We’ve been married 23 years and it has been work. We are committed to the relationship, yet it could be better. Thanks for a chance to receive this book. Blessings!



  71. Carol on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:08 am

    28 years



  72. D'Layne on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:21 am

    34 years



  73. Jill on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:26 am

    We’ve been married 15 years. It’s always a challenge to keep our marriage the priority with kids, school, work, church, and so many things competing for our time. Would love to read this book to help us find ways to better connect and understand each other better.



  74. Tracy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:27 am

    Definitely could use a copy of this book!



  75. Julie S on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:29 am

    We will celebrate 20 years in April. I won’t say they’ve all been wedded bliss either, mostly, but not all. Marriage IS hard, we could use this book! Thanks for the chance.



  76. Kim Abbott on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:30 am

    We’ve been married for 5 years and would love the chance to win this book. Thank you!



  77. Lisa V. on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:31 am

    Married 11 years. We struggle very much to be intimate and the less we do the less the desire. I have been praying recently and very deliberately to the Father for desire for my husband and a softening of my heart and I can say Praise God I have felt changes in me. We have two young boys and we fall into the category of once the kids are in bed at the end of the day, we just want alone time and rest. I think talking and intimacy is the last thing we want to do. Yet I know that God is working in our marriage.



  78. Victoria on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:33 am

    we have been married 1year and 11 months. Second marriage for both of us and putting God in the Pilot’s seat!



  79. Donna on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:43 am

    This June will be 34 years! I almost left my husband a year ago because I thought things weren’t going the way I expected them to. Praise God, that he intervened with a marriage retreat given by the Southern Baptist Association that we attended plus my pastor did a sermon series on marriage & our women’s Bible group we did a study on how wives should treat their husband & vice versa. Then I started praying for my husband daily, I also asked God to change my heart along with my husband’s. I have to say that God has done a wonderful job on both of us because things have turned completely around. Granted we still have some things to work out but I think our marriage is stronger then it ever was.



  80. Kelley on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:44 am

    21 years. Newlyweds Forever!!



  81. Lauren on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:44 am

    5 years!



  82. dena seaman on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:50 am

    24years



  83. jacquie on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:59 am

    I have been married almost 22 years to my best friend. Took a failed 1st marriage to find him but truly feel God place us together. We have our ups and downs as every married couple does…but with God at the center we have and will continue to overcome!



  84. wanita on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    Intimacy? What is that! Married going on 15 years, & due to circumstances beyond our control, 4 years ago we had to move into separate suites (& beds) in same building, making a greater challenge to keep romance alive, (along with a few health challenges). I don’t remember the last time for intimacy. A hug and a peck on cheek is about where it’s at now. We talk about it, say we miss it, would like to regain such closeness, but then get stuck when it comes to action. This book just might be the key to solve our ‘apartness.’ 🙂



  85. Lisa on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    We have been married 24 years!!! Been through so much- his being in Iraq, Afghanistan for about 4 years he turned his back on me and God!!. We have given our marriage over to God now and he is becoming – well God has made him into a wonderful loving man again, he gave his life back to our Lord and Savior- OH praise Him!! We have a way to go, but I do believe that God knows the future and we are still together for a reason…..I would LOVE this book to add onto the works that God is doing.



  86. Jenny H. on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    Remarried for only 3 months. We bring 52 years (combined) of marriage to our new relationship. We are high school sweeties reconnected and know how important intimacy is…



  87. Leslie M. on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    We will be married 24 years in May. I have learned we have to be intentional about making our marriage a priority and laughing together every day.



  88. Lou on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    Almost 25 years too! Trying to newly adjust to Empty Nest and caring for elderly parents. An easily irritable husband is a daily struggle. Seeking God’s help.



  89. Marlene on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    We have been married almost 34 years; second marriage for both of us. Our children are grown ups now and we are empty nesters. We enjoy sitting close and cuddling while we watch TV and going out on “dates” which means walking the malls, going out to eat (fast food or fancier), grocery shopping, biking in warmer weather, and occasionally going to a movie & sharing popcorn and a soda. We have had plenty ups and downs but with God as the third strand in our marriage, we keep on keeping on. Praise God!



  90. April Graham on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    Nine years….hard years..LOL We would love to read this book!



  91. Kati on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    3 years. This would be a great blessing for us!



  92. Trish on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    35 years…36 in August of this year



  93. Gina on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    Been married 14 years. Between breast cancer battle, kids, and just plain busyness we have definitely lost the intimacy in our marriage. I have been praying about it but have yet to find the answer.



  94. Amy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    20 Years and still going strong -but definitely would love to read this book.



  95. PAM on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    32 years. We would love to read this book!



  96. Lacy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    Oh, my goodness! I needed to read this! Thank you! Been married 25 years this past Dec. Love my husband!! But since his 2nd heart attack, intimacy is very rare. And now, I see the problems that have resulted. I need to be more intentional. I would love to read this book. BOTH OF THEM!! They sound awesome!



  97. Vicki on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    18 years. And sure could use some help in this area. So glad it is being discussed. Thank you.



  98. Jihan on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    My marriage is falling apart. I think my husband is practically done with the relationship. I am currently doing the love dare. I would love this book because I need any guidance I can get. I would also appreciate prayers. God bless everyone and their families!



  99. julie on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    Going on 16 years! We have 4 kids that range from 11 yrs down to 1 1/2 yrs old! We get So tied up in them and school activities, church stuff, etc. that we really haven’t mad e the time for just us. Been like this a long time and I so want things to be different! Hubby and I will say that we are going to change that, but never do! We could sure use some help! TY!



  100. Nancy L S on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    We’ve married for 14 years- known each other for 18. I need this book badly. I got off the phone with my husband a couple hours ago and felt so discouraged. He is a workaholic and nonbeliever. I love him so much it hurts though. I am working on me while praying for him. I need love & prayers, please.



  101. Wanda M. on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    At the end of March we will have 30 years. I would love to have a copy of this book!



  102. Stephanie edwards on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    13 years and I really need this book!!!



  103. Kathy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    Married 31 years and have entered the empty nest…..would LOVE to read this book.

    Thank you!



  104. Kim Mora on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    I need this book- my husband and I have drifted way off over the last 20 years- and I know that we need to bring back our love- God can work miracles- I’m praying for a miracle.



  105. Susy Shelton on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Military Marriage 20 years in June! Rollercoaster all these years! Always looking for positive ways to improve relationship, intimacy & marriage 🙂
    xoxo



  106. Cathy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Thirty three years in April. For the first time in a very long time we are putting Christ at the center of our marrisge. My husband received some devastating news at the first of the year. God is taking us on a journey to trust and seek Him for everything. We have had to learn not to ask “why” but trust for His plan and direction in our lives. We know that it will be in God’s timing before we have a different plan revealed to us. His timing and plans are perfect even though hard to understand. I have always loved my best friend but I don’t think I really knew how much until the last several weeks. Just looking for ways to nurture our marriage.



  107. Ashton Firkud on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    I’m actually not married yet, but I am doing as much research I can to start it out right. I know you can’t prepare perfectly, but together I’m positive we will be able to do this as close to right as we possibly can.



  108. Ashton Firkus on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    **I’m actually not married yet, but I am doing as much research I can to start it out right. I know you can’t prepare perfectly, but together I’m positive we will be able to do this as close to right as we possibly can.

    …. yikes…. bad typo on my last name.



  109. Brenda on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    31 3/4 years! 🙂 Would love to read the suggestions in this book. You can never take too much time to learn how best to love and care for your spouse! 🙂



  110. Kathy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    We have been married for 17 years! We would benefit greatly from this book at this time in our lives. Life gets so busy with work, kids, homework, making meals, grocery shopping, etc, etc. Sometimes it seems we have forgotten to take time for ourselves.



  111. Lauren on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    Married almost five years, and already dealing with some of the issues in your post. It’s not always easy, but we’re trying hard to make things work.



  112. Cindy Wells on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    I am 47 and me and my husband have been friends for 42 years – 28 of those we have spent being married to each other.



  113. P. Bird on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    It will be 3 years on 2/25.



  114. Jessie on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    4 years in June!



  115. Christy on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    This year, 18! Only by the grace of god!!!



  116. Pamela Hubbbart on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    I have been a widow for 7 years. I’ve been dating my fiancé for almost 2 years now. I want to do this right and have the kind of marriage God would be proud of.



  117. Rita on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    Married for almost 18 years, but have known each other for almost 20 years.



  118. kathy w on Friday, February 20, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    We have been married 25 years and together 6 yrs before that.



  119. Bobbie on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 12:04 am

    Will be 23 years in July…and we cannot let our guard down, marriage is hard work! We have had many trials through the years, and I completely believe that God has created them in order to draw us closer to Him, and to grow as a couple! Intimacy is definitely an important aspect of a successful marriage! Thank you for the chance at this book, it sounds amazing!



  120. Ruth on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 6:36 am

    married 34 years



  121. Amanda on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 8:08 am

    We will be married 15 years in March.



  122. SANDRA on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 9:14 am

    We are currently separated. Maybe we could benefit from this book…I would love to have a copy :-). Thank you for helping us all out !!



  123. Kathleen on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 10:01 am

    35.5 difficult years …what is intimacy? 🙁 My husband still acts like he is the only one in the marriage when it comes to decisions, money, needs etc.



  124. MissyB on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 10:30 am

    24 years. Always can use marriage help.



  125. Kathy on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 11:20 am

    My husband and I have been married 32 years and we would love to read this new book!



  126. renee on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    23 years and I would do it all over again!



  127. Brianna on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    This year makes 8!



  128. Lisa Richardson on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    We have been married 15 years. Yes I definitely agree.. marriage is hard



  129. Linda on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    My husband and I have been married for 26 years. We recently realized just how important intimacy is and are actively trying to schedule time for just us.



  130. Cathy on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Married 44 years. Keep God the center of your family.



  131. Shannon on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    We celebrated 10 years in January! This sounds like a great book for us to go through together.



  132. Cece on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    16 years on March 27th!



  133. Ashley on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 9:24 pm

    My husband and I have been married for 6 years! This sounds like such a good book…I’ll have to check it out! Thanks for sharing! 🙂



  134. Susie on Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 3:14 am

    I have been married almost 35 years. I am unequally yoked, and my husband has addictions. It is trying to say the least. I pray that some day they come out with a book that deals with this kind of marriage. How to cope with trying to make it work when you are the only one trying.



  135. Lori on Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 5:16 am

    38 years, 4 months, and 27 days. 🙂



  136. michelle on Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 8:40 am

    Going on 8 years.



  137. Beverly Shook on Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 10:33 am

    My husband and I have been married for 24 years. We are high school sweethearts. He is a romantic at heart. So is always thinking of ways to keep the love alive. I myself am less motivated in that area and often am not as excited about romance either. So we try to get away with each other 6 times a year to keep the romance and communication good. We have 4 kids and are Realtors in our area. So life is busy. As it is for most.



  138. Amy on Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    16.5 years and counting!



  139. Rebecca on Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 6:26 pm

    Just celebrated 14 years in December.



  140. Karen on Monday, February 23, 2015 at 5:44 am

    Is there a visual for how the husband looks when neglected? I am the one who’s always too busy with work and graduate classes, that I’ve got nothing left. Married 21 years! Our children are almost grown. I would like them to witness a thriving marriage during their final few years at home.



  141. teresa on Monday, February 23, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    We have been married 5 years! What a learning process..! Trials and struggles are a strain but we are hanging in there!



  142. Sharon on Tuesday, February 24, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    married for 30 years, dated for 4 years – total together 34 years…..
    struggles – yes
    arguments – yes
    times wanted to give up – yes
    TURNED IT OVER TO GOD – YES!!



  143. Maria Vasquez on Wednesday, February 25, 2015 at 11:28 am

    Been married 3 years but we’ve been together for 10 years now! I feel like God has been talking to me in different ways to learn to have a Godly marriage! God bless!.



  144. Amy S on Monday, March 2, 2015 at 6:58 am

    2015 will mark 23 years of dedication and hard work in my marriage!



  145. Jan on Wednesday, March 11, 2015 at 8:12 am

    Married 40 years…still learning and growing as we help other couples learn and grow together.



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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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