This has been a full fledged mommy-emotional-roller-coaster month so far. In fact, I think I may have hit the mother load of parenthood this week.
I attended She Speaks last week and was gone from my family for five days. After a few days of recuperating and taking it easy, I sent my daughter off to camp for four days, and the very day she returned, I left within an hour to drive to Virginia to speak at a conference, returning the following day at nearly 10pm. Being away from the family, although it is for wonderful reasons, always pulls at my heart strings.
Each day since I returned on Monday, we have been run ragged with tennis practices, cheerleading camps, and football practices… and busy social lives, of course. But thats not all….
My oldest daughter went on her very first car date, with a new boyfriend. I prayed.
That same said daughter was awarded a real live drivers license yesterday from our friendly local Division of Motor Vehicles. I prayed more.
My middle daughter turned fourteen years old today, going on at least twenty three it seems. And today, her boyfriend surprised her with a visit, pink roses and some shiny balloons. I prayed lots. Have mercy.
Being the mother of teenagers seems to have crept up and slapped me in the face.
Where did my little girls go? What happened to pony tails with ribbons, frilly dresses, babydolls, afternoons in the park and mommy/daughter nights out?
That old cliche’ that ‘they grow up so fast’ has now become reality in my life.
But as I pondered the times that are gone, and as my heart secretly longed for little tiny arms wrapped around my neck, bedtime stories, and snuggling in the bed together on Saturday mornings, I also cant help but wonder about all the sweet times to come.
I must admit, that when it comes to my kids, I am often times a wonderer, or shall I say, worrier…. but it compels me to be a pray-er as well.
I wonder how their school year will be, and pray that friends stay close, and enemies keep their distance.
I wonder about their feelings getting hurt and the hurtful things that teens often do and say to others, and pray their hearts can take the heat no matter what happens.
I wonder about situations that are so unfair and undeserved, and pray that they can understand that rejection is often Gods protection, and grow stronger as a result.
I wonder about their self confidence, and pray that they will see their beauty from the eyes of Christ, and not only what they see in the mirror, or what others say about them.
I wonder about peer pressure, and pray that they will stand strong in their faith and not be swayed into doing or saying things that ‘everybody else is doing’.
I wonder about mistakes they will make and times they will let me down, and pray that when that happens, I will extend patience understanding, grace and mercy.
There are lots of things I worry about, but as I cover them in prayer, I am able to refocus on my wonder about the joyful things that will come as I watch them grow, instead of only worrying about the present challenges and future heartaches that they might face.
In prayer, I can feel God reassuring me that He has an army of angels protecting them, at school, at home, on the road, and all the places where they will be, that I will not. He reassures me that He is there, when I cannot be.
I know I cant keep them in my house forever, although I would love that, but I also know that God will always keep them in His hands.
So today, Im going to start spending more time wondering, instead of worrying, and enjoy each season of life that my children experience. I am going to pray even harder that I will trust God to watch over them, and allow Him to release me from fears that hold my heart captive – instead I want to be filled with peace, that can only come from Him, each and every time they venture out on their own.
I wonder, about their futures, and I smile. I cant even imagine the blessing of seeing Gods plans and purposes become a reality in their lives.
That will most definitely be the day that I really hit the mommy motherload. Smiles.