Marriage Challenge Day 9: PRACTICE

If there has every been anyone who despised having to practice at something, it was my daughter when she was little.

Kaitlyn is talented at so many things, but when she was younger, the things that she had to really work at the most, or new skills she was trying to learn how to do, would quickly become huge sources of frustration for her. You see, she could envision herself meeting her goals, but she wanted just them to happen on their own. Without all the work. Without all the commitment. Without all the frustration. Without all the practice.

When they didn’t happen, outbursts of tears and exasperation frequently erupted, usually prompting yet another discussion about how ‘practice makes perfect’, ‘you cant give up when it seems hard’, and that ‘Rome was not built in a day’. I called them life lessons, she called them lectures. What-everrrr.

But now that she is 16 1/2 years old,  she has matured in her ways and is always willing to put in the hard work to achieve the results she wants. She has so many aspirations for life, and because of her willingness and commitment to work hard and practice, I have no doubt that she will achieve them with flying colors.

Her biggest hurdle during that season of growing up was not her lack of talent or ability, but the fact that as her frustration grew, her hope dissipated. She would get so discouraged when she couldn’t meet her goal as quickly as she wanted to, or at least see immediate progress, that she would be tempted to just quit. After all, isn’t that the easy choice?

Although I could mark up her frustrations and desire to quit as a part of growing up, I knew I was more like her than I wanted to admit. All too easily, I can find myself getting discouraged when I have been working hard at meeting my goals, or praying for my desires to become reality, or longing for something amazing and miraculous to happen – only to continue to see things staying the same. Maybe you can relate.

Over this past week, our marriage challenges have been focused on challenging us to work at our marriages in new ways in the hopes that through the power of God, our pursuit of Him, and obeying biblical principles for marriage, that He will guide our hearts, and our husbands hearts, into a place of renewal, rekindled love, and re-commitment.

All of the ways mentioned thus far are so important to do, but are also time consuming and at times daunting tasks. They take great commitment, and often require us to put all our faith in God trusting that He will reward our efforts in one way or another. They require us to persevere through those times when we want to quit, and keep practicing what God has laid on our hearts.

Sometimes, the temptation to give in to defeat and give up on our marriage appears like the easy choice. The pain of wondering and waiting if we can really maintain hope that God will change our husbands heart, mend addictions, create intimacy, restore friendship, and heal a relationship, can be difficult and frustrating.

It takes practice to keep going when the going gets tough, and it takes practice to take God’s Word to heart when He promises to hear our prayers and act on them, according to His will.

Philippians 4:9 says “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you”. The better we understand God’s truths and promises as they relate to life and marriage, the more we can apply these principles to our lives. The more we practice them and apply them, the better we will become at living a life, and having a marriage, that pleases God and that fulfills our hearts.

Last week, Kaitlyn met one of her goals. She runs track and cross country, and achieved the best time for her one mile run than ever before. She was thrilled and proud and it has inspired her to try to make it to Regionals this year.  Not only because she met a goal, but because she now realizes that commitment and practice really do pay off. One small achievement has fueled her desire to keep practicing and persevering for even bigger and better accomplishments, taking one step of progress at a time.

So maybe, just maybe, there is something to be said for practicing after all. Let’s keep practicing being the wives God calls us to be, so that our husbands can become the men God called them to be, and let every little step of progress fuel our passion to keep striving for our goals to be met, and our prayers to be answered.

Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but it always makes for progress. And every little step of progress in a marriage is worth the effort.

DAY 9 CHALLENGE:     PRACTICE

Your challenge today is to practice the challenges from the past couple weeks. Read back over the prior posts and suggestions and see if there are any new thoughts that come to mind. Pray for God to prick your heart when He is speaking and for the ability to obey what you hear.

A commitment to gradual process eventually leads to seeing our goals become a reality, and our marriages improving one day, one effort, one goal, and one step, at a time.

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11 Comments

  1. Carol on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Thank you, Tracie. This one really hit home.

    I’m a great “self-starter,” but not a great completer, when it comes to hobby projects. Have to do some soul-searching now to see if I’m the same with relationships, and I’m a little afraid of what I may find. I need to practice the challenges so I never let my marriage run out of steam, and put more into some precious family and friend relationships.



  2. Heidi on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 10:18 am

    I’ve learned over the years that practicing something for three weeks or more does tend to make it a habit. How great it would be to have honoring and loving my husband be an automatic habit. Changes are happening because of this challenge and prayers are being answered-Thanks be to God!



  3. Kelsey on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Thanks Tracie for another wonderful message. I cannot begin to count the times I have started a project, and then became discouraged (and eventually quit) when it didn’t go the way I had planned. My husband is not a project I can give up on though. I need to constantly be striving to be the best wife possible, even if there seems to be no obvious rewards for my practice. It is what God is calling me to do regardless. This is my prayer. Thank you so much for helping convict me! Thanks be to our loving, forgiving, and patient God!



  4. Momof3 on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 11:38 am

    Thank you Tracie, once again right on time. I too can picture the end result but get discouraged with the working and waiting, I woke up struggling with this very thing. I commit to practice being the best wife I can be, through my words and actions but most of all through my prayers.



  5. Jeni on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    Beautifully written again! I commit to practicing all of these challenges and to not just stop when this challenge is complete. One thing I lack is patience. I pray for strenth to continue and patience when the result or answer is not immediate. I pray that I hear when God is speaking to me, humbling me, correcting me, and guiding me and to obey Him.
    Thank you again!



  6. Kerry on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    Isn’t that the truth….continuity! I’ll admit it. I am probably the worst…..I am like the young Kaitlyn….if I don’t see results NOW, then I tend to “give up”. I am getting better. And I owe it all to just being able to let go of things and putthing things in God’s hands. I too pray for patience, because the older I get, the less patience I seem to have with things. I am so thankful to have Him in my life.



  7. Lindy Lou on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    I would just like to say I have seen two signs from my man since we hae started this study. They are not big but they are signs that God is listening and I am on the right track and that our relationship is worth the effort and the patience. I feel a since of renewed inspiration and motivation. I will continue to pray for all the marriages in this study. God is at work.



  8. Becky on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    Today, I had the chance to share my wonderful engagement story on spiritfm. Immediately, following the phone conversation, I asked my husband to listen in. He was so touched by my public expression of this very special occasion.

    I also wanted to share his enthusiasm to share the gospel in the local theatre. He and his friend are praying together for this group of people. I am so proud of him.



  9. Abi on Friday, March 22, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    Practice…



  10. Brandi Homs on Saturday, March 23, 2013 at 3:21 am

    Praying for God’s grace as He helps me to let go of past hurts with my husband & others. It’s past time to get over these hurts, stop the score keeping, & take back my joy that has been stolen. I know that I alone am incapable so I am asking for God’s divine help in this.



  11. Chris Brown on Monday, March 25, 2013 at 8:26 am

    Tracie, as always, you inspire me to seek God’s truth and strength in all circumstances, especially in my marriage. I need strength to support my husband better when his girls are less than loving to him. I need to learn how to support him rather than vent my frustrations over their ingratitude and not returning calls and general insolence. Please pray with me. 🙂



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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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