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One day several years ago, I was feeling despair over my marriage. How was I going to fix the issues we were suddenly facing? My heart and mind were overwhelmed with a storm that had unexpectedly raged into my life.
On a Sunday afternoon, I was feeling especially sad and worried about this overwhelming problem, and I wandered quietly into the solace of my bedroom. It was a rainy day and my bedroom was dim, so I clicked on the lamp beside my bed. As the warm glow of light bathed the room, my eyes fell upon the little glass box a friend had given me just a few weeks earlier.
This beautiful engraved box, wrapped in a soft, yellow chiffon bow, was filled with little slips of carefully folded papers, and on each slip of paper was an encouraging Bible verse. This would have been a wonderful gift in itself, but to make it even more special, my friend had inserted my name into each of the verses. When I read them, I felt as if God was speaking directly to me, as if He was gently calling out to Tracie, whispering my name with each holy promise.
As I sat quietly alone in my bedroom, I began to unfold a few of the verses; praying and asking God to hear my prayers, comfort me, take away my hurt, fix our marriage and show me the way.
After a few minutes of intense prayer, I became aware of God’s presence in the room, as if He were sitting right on my bed with me. Then suddenly, an idea popped into my mind. Instead of putting the little bible verses back into the glass box, I felt a nudging to spread them out all around me. I pondered how silly it sounded, a crazy idea I thought, so I knew it must have come from God. I hesitantly placed most of the small paper verses on my bedspread in front of me so I could read and focus on them, and then placed five or six to my right, and some on my left, and even put a few behind me on my pillow.
As I sat on my bed, fully surrounded on every side by holy words, God whispered to my spirit, “Tracie, now you are nestled into My lap; the lap of Your heavenly Father. I am here.” Â It was a thought that only He could have inspired, and it was so loud in my heart that it nearly took my breath away. I was stunned, and as tears streamed down my face, a feeling of peace washed over my spirit.
What an awesome privilege to be positioned right smack in the middle of God’s Word. To be sitting in the lap of the One who created me. To be entirely physically surrounded by His truths. To see and feel His written promises speaking specifically to me. To feel His comfort permeate my heart. To hear His voice as His Word came to life.
You see, I had been pursuing Him, and I found Him, right in my bedroom. I suddenly realized I wasn’t merely surrounded by cluttered slips of paper. I was surrounded by countless reassurances that He had heard my prayers for my marriage. He cared. He wanted my husband and I to be happy and to treasure the covenant we had made to each other and to Him. It would take some work, but He was with us.
What a gentle reminder that I needed to put my trust in Him, that He was aware of my situation, and that He would bring me peace to get through it.
I thanked God then, and every day since, for reminding me that when I seek Him with my whole heart, and pursue His comfort and Presence, I will find Him.Knowing that God sees and cares about our relationships with our husbands is the most priceless feeling in the world.
Our willingness to desperately pursue God and His intervention in our problems, whether it be a marriage problem or not, prepares our hearts to depend on God, trust Him, and give Him the credit for anything that happens.
The pursuit of Christ is what gives us the strength to keep striving for something that seems impossible to reach from a human mind perspective.
The pursuit of Christ is what gives us peace in our hearts, when there seems to be no peace in our home.
The pursuit of Christ is what helps us to keep believing that God can work miracles in us, our husbands, and our marriages even when it seems like the problems are too big, the hurts are too deep, and the challenges are too great.
As I was searching Gods Word about this topic of pursuit, I landed on 1 Peter 3:11 which says “He (she) must turn from evil and do good; he (she) must seek peace and pursue it.”. I found it especially applicable for today’s topic of pursuit, because it comes on the skirt tails of the passages about how wives and husbands are called to treat each other (1 Peter 3:1-7).
In 1 Peter 3:8-10, Peter encourages us to live in harmony, be sympathetic, love genuinely, hold our tongues, and be compassionate and humble – all of the things that we have been talking about over the past week that are so important in our marital relationships.
Peter expresses the absolute necessity for us to practice those Godly traits in our marriages, but then he points out that the only way to achieve the ability to practice Godly traits, is through the pursuit of righteousness. The pursuit of Christ.
We could wake up every single morning and commit to having a better attitude towards our husbands, treating them differently, and working towards improving our relationships – but if we are not pursuing a strong and grounded relationship with Christ, and building the presence of faith and unshakable joy in our hearts, then all of our efforts may go in vain.
It is God’s strength within us that allows us to pursue a better marriage, not our own willpower or motivation.
For the past week, we have focused on many things we could do to potentially soften our husbands hearts and improve our relationship with them, and these things are crucial.
But today, let’s shift our focus to our relationship with Christ, and how through Him, we can have the power within us to do all those important things.
As we pursue Christ, He will make His presence known in our lives. We will feel Him dwelling within us. We will see Him doing miracles, and He will show up wherever we invite Him.
He wants us all to sit in His lap, and to feel His comforting arms wrapped around us, because everyone needs a holy hug every now and then.
DAY 7 CHALLENGE:Â Â PURSUE Christ with your whole heart
Your challenge for today, is simply to ask God to give you an unquenchable thirst for a relationship with Him, an insatiable hunger for His Word and the spiritual clarity to know when He enters the rooms of your heart. Spend some time on your knees with Him, pursuing Him, and seeking guidance and blessing on your marriage, and every area of your life.
1 Peter 3:12a “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayers…”
If desired, leave a comment stating your commitment to pursue Christ more deeply in your life, and in your marriage. I will personally pray for each woman who comments. If you are receiving this post in email, please CLICK HERE to leave your comment.
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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.
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Since the beginning of this challenge I have struggled with each day because of the lack of relationship with my husband. I realized a few days ago my relationship with God was struggling too, due to busy lives, misunderstandings, etc. I committed to focusing my efforts towards God, knowing my marriage, parenting, etc will follow. Each day, I have prayed something specific and each following morning, God has given me a verse specific to my prayer. It has been amazing! I’ve never doubted He was with me but this is the first time I can say He is making it very obvious!!!
Thanks, Tracie to your nonjudgmental ways and for taking on the burden of hurt or lost marriages in this world.
I am praying for each of you. Marriage is hard, and what a blessing it is to see that we can come together online to lift each other up and be a voice of encouragement. Tears well up in my eyes when I read all of your comments, and I am so honored that God has allowed for this challenge to happen, and my prayer is that it will help not only mend relationships, but hearts as well. Hugs to all of you –
The pursuit of God is essential. When my husband left me 4 1/2 months ago for another woman, I was filled with fear and anxiety. I couldn’t eat or sleep. It was only when I begged and cried out to God to help did I realize I needed to let go and let God take care of my marriage and my husband. God gave me some peace to take care of myself and brought calm. He told me to not have a hardeded heart. My husband noticed immediately. Do I still have days when I fall into despair. Yes. But I continue to pray and God sustains me. I can see God working on my husband. I hope that the God’s plan for my marriage will be revealed soon. I turn to this challenge first thing every morning. Thank you for your insight and words.
Several months ago I seriously considered leaving my husband. After many internal struggles I turned to God. One night, while rocking my son to sleep, I began to cry and pray to God that He help me and my marriage. Right away I noticed a difference…in a big way. Don’t try to take on everything yourselves, ladies. Turn to Him and he will guide you. Prayers to you all.
I want to pursue Christ for my marriage. I am praying for peace and for God to give me the ability to love my husband, pray for, play with, and provide for him in a way that I will only be able to do with God’s help.
Being a fairly young wife, I can say that for the past two years my husband and I have truly hit a “rough patch” in our relationship. Through all of this, I realized that I was not in prayer for myself, my actions and words, nor my husband, and his actions and words. In other words I was praying around my immediate situation and not focusing my heart and spirit on God. Once I realized I was guilty of doing this, something so undesirable as to what I truly wanted and thought I was doing, I was very sad. Then I found this blog and started to pray, not just for the Lord to “fix” my marriage or make my husband better, but to truly help us both to seek Him and for Him to guide both of our hearts and I committed my marriage to Him. It has only been about two weeks and honestly I still do not know God’s plan for our marriage, but I must share with you all that my inner peace and strength has improved drastically, my husband’s attitude has changed (almost to that of his old self again) and I truly feel like whatever happens I will be okay with it. With that said, the little things that brought us joy are making us both smile again, the tension that was there on a daily basis—its minimal to none now; I don’t know how to describe it other than to give praise to the Lord! We still have a ways to go, but from the despair I was feeling to the peace of today—there has been a noticeable turn toward the right track. Thank you Tracie, for sharing the pain you have been through in order to help others and for blessing us with the tools to reconstruct our pathway to God, which is to the benefit of our marriages.
Thank you Tracie for praying for us, I will pray for you too. You certainly are a blessing to us. This same message has come up several times in the last week, so God is clearly speaking in this. I hear and I am committed to obey. Blessings!
As we so often think we can do it without God, please pray for us. Thank you Tracie.
I have been more intentional about perusing Christ this year by memorizing Scripture. It has been a huge blessing to know more of the Word and really have it stamped on my heart. One of the marriage verses I have memorized is Ephesians 5:33
Tracie, this challange today is beautiful. From day one of this challenge, I have felt God’s presence. This enites experience has been such a blessing. I realized, especially today, that before, I was praying around things. I was praying more so for what I thought were my husbands faults, without realizing what I was doing wrong. I too, was thinking of divorce. A few months ago, I was given a devotional( I believe it came through the Proverbs 31 Ministries) by Micca Campbell. It was perfect timing and the perfect verse. The devotional was by Micca Campbell: “A Long and Winding Road.” The Bible verse was Isaiah 55:9–“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts.” It was then that I realized that the easy was out was a divorce, but that was not God’s will. I had to trust Him and know that He was with me and that the easier road did not make me the person that God wanted me to be.
I know that what I am sharing is long, but I need to share it. God lead me to your challenge. He was with me and is with me on that long and winding road! I have learned so much through this challenge and your ministry. For that, I am forever grateful!
Today I pray that God will give me a never-ending thirst for His word and to recognize His presence. I pray for guidance in my marriage and all aspects of my life. I pray that I continue to pursue Him and see His blessings.
The Lord has been dealing with me in this same area already, so your post today is reinforcing a message that He is weaving into my heart. I want to pursue the Lord with my whole heart and be able to bless my husband and children with a heart overflowing with love, joy, and peace that I have received from my Heavenly Father. Thank you, Tracie!
Thank you for this post and your prayers, Tracie. I’ve been blessed with a tremendous hunger for God’s word for several years now, and have been convicted in the past few weeks and months that my desire is to be for God Himself, and not just His word. Please pray with me that I will continue to surrender more of my heart to Him and just loving and pleasing Him – and gaining His love for the world… more my heart beating with His than just thrilling intellectually at knowing Him more.
TODAY I COMMIT TO PURSUE A CLOSER RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST BY ‘TAKING!”
THE TIME TO READ MY BIBLE, AND WAITING TO HEAR GOD’S LESSONS FOR ME.
I commit to pursue Christ. He is willing to bless my marriage and the marriages I am praying for. Divorce/Separation/Conflicts is something i definetively dont like. I think I put myself in their shoes and it hurts.
I will commit to relentlessly pursuing Christ for myself as well as my marriage!
Tracie, I’m not here to answer the question. I’m here to thank you for the 50 page bible guide you sent me.God bless you and have a good day.
I am committed to pursuing Christ more deeply in my life, and in my marriage. Thank you for your prayers. Also, this is off topic sort of but I need help. A good friend hurt my feelings deeply. What she said had some truth to it, so I cannot argue with that but the way it was said and in a text message really hurt. I sobbed myself to sleep. My husband verbally abuses me that is about all I can handle. I am trying to forgive my husband and my friend but I don’t know what to say to them. I don’t think either rally think they were being hurtful. Thank you for any wisdom you might be able to share. This marriage challenge is so very good m
Right now my husband is in another state at a Military school for the Army National Guard. So I’m not able to do all the ‘homework’ but what I am doing is preparing my heart by praying and asking God to show me where I’ve fallen short & fill me so that I have love to share with my husband more completely than I have before. Compared to others I know at work- my marriage is a fairytale. However, appearances can be deceiving. Not that we fight or have serious issues but that we aren’t filling each others needs as well as we should. I’ve learned that I’m at fault by not first seeking my fulfillment from the Lord, then from my husband. No man can meet all my needs or fill all the empty places in my heart. So that is what I’m working on. I’m texting him and telling him how important he is to me – not just “I love you” notes. I’ve asked God to show me how to lift his spirits as he is homesick & depressed. So even from afar you can begin. I’ve also printed each of Tracie’s messages so I can reread them later & work thru each task with my husband when he comes home- which is about 9 days from now 🙂
My husband and I have been together almost 4 years. We have weathered some difficult times in these past years, but have been able to work through things. However, we have hit a rough spot again and we haven’t been able to pull through it as well. The marriage challenge came at the perfect time as I have been struggling with getting through this rough patch. I will continue to hold fast to God’s truth and continue to pray for guidance and pray for God to reveal to me the positive aspects of my husband and to help build our marriage stronger than ever.
Thank you for writing this marriage challenge I needed it. My husband and I have been married 6 months and it is a whole lot harder than I thought it would be. I commit to purse Christ in my own life and to pursue Christ in my marriage.
Tracie, I thank you so much for sharing w/ us so that thru God we can all strengthen our marriages. One of the paragraphs you wrote really hit me…
“We could wake up every single morning and commit to having a better attitude towards our husbands, treating them differently, and working towards improving our relationships – but if we are not pursuing a strong and grounded relationship with Christ, and building the presence of faith and unshakable joy in our hearts, then all of our efforts may go in vain.
It is God’s strength within us that allows us to pursue a better marriage, not our own willpower or motivation.”
It made me realize how much more I need Christ to be able to make our marriage work. Not just to pray & talk to Him daily, but to truly listen to Him, to devour His word, not just a verse here and there, but to devote myself to Him like I try so hard to devote myself to my husband. I am so grateful for this realization!
On January 11 my husband told me he was having a relationship he wanted to pursue and he left. I managed to get through the next few hours. But in the wee small hours of the morning after, God spoke clearly to me that “it will be okay”. I have tried (very difficultly at times) to cling to this promise from God. And so I signed up for this marriage challenge. In recent days it has been VERY hard to believe that my marriage will be restored. I took my wedding ring. The word “divorce” finally escaped from my lips and I began contacting lawyers asking about my options. When I began getting my marriage challenge emails I just deleted them. I had no marriage, so why bother with any of this. But still I struggled.
This morning as I went through my email, deleting all the junk, I saw today’s email from Tracie. Instead of deleteing it, God lead me to open it and I began to read. And now, thank you, God, my hope is renewed. God wants my marriage to be restored and renewed in Him. I have printed all the challenges and will faithfully complete each one. . And I will repeat for as long as needed until God tells me different! I thank God that He used this series to bring back my hope and to show me the wife that I need to be in my renewed marriage!
I agree full heartedly with Christina, I was very convicted about giving so much of myself to my relationship instead of to God. God has been laying on my heart to have a few quite moments a day with him, yet I have found excuse after excuse. Yes I hear it now, God first than family, not the other way around. Thank you Traci for being such a blessing to us right were we are.
I commit to pursue you God in my life and marriage. You know my heart’s desire.
Tracie send me the 7 challenge
Tracie send me the 7 challenge
I have always struggled with doing a daily quiet time with the Lord. I’ve been involved in numerous Bible studies over the years and always do the work and get into God’s word, but spending quality time in prayer and seeking the face of God, has always been difficult. My marriage is good, but there’s a ton of room for improvement. My relationship with God is good, but there’s a ton of room for improvement. The deepest desire of my heart is to pursue God first and fiercely in my life. Lord please help me in this area of weakness. I want to see You, I want to seek Your face, I want to know You more.
Thank you for reminding me to pursue God and seek after righteousness and His word. Life gets so busy sometimes, it is easy to forget what my priorities really should be. I’m praying for God to give me those desires to have a consistant relationship with Him. It is only when we seek God first and His righteousness that everything else will fall into place.
I too commit to pursuing Christ first, before everything else. My marriage is in deep trouble but God is a God of miracles and mercy. Whenever I get discouraged I just remind myself that God is for me so who or what could be against me. Thank you Tracie for this encouragement and for praying for us.
Lord, I lift each of these women up tonight. I approach the gates of heaven with each of their names on my heart, asking You to intervene in their marriages and their lives in miraculous ways. Some marriages are fine, some are shaky, and some are almost over. But we trust in Your ways Lord. You see each of these women and their husbands, and You know what they need to achieve restoration, trust and happiness. Pour Yourself into their hearts, shower them with peace, comfort them with reassurance, and give them hope. Fill them with strength and perseverance and convict the hearts of the husbands who need an extra dose of You. In every way needed Lord, we ask you to heal. We love you Jesus. In Your Name I pray, Amen.
Tracie, thank you so much. My marriage too is in trouble. I will continue to seek Christ for I know that wit him not only lies our healing but our deliverance. He has held me during this difficult time and given me rest. He is the reason that my marriage is still alive and he has given me the strength to endure when I feel I can’t go on. I will continue to seek Him for I so desperately need Him. I thank God for you for He knows that I and others need this. Again thank you.
Through reading this I realized that I haven’t actually forgiven my husband for something I found out about a year ago – I have been feeling like it is “ok” to continue to be angry since I don’t bring it up when we argue – that I had a “right” as a wife to feel this way and God understood. I must forgive and leave it alone and starting today I am going to try that, with God’s help.
Tracie, God had lead me to have a renewed relationship with him this year. In this I have been lead to work at having a better relationship with my husband. God had pointed that out to me. I fell he is teaching me a lot this year. I have joined an on-line bible study with Wendy Pope in the book of Psalms it is a wonderful blessing and I have joined this study with you. I have ordered the book Capture His Heart, The Power of a Praying Wife and The Man whisperer. I can’t wait to see all the blessing God will pour down in my spiritual life as well as my marriage. Please pray for my marriage, my husband isn’t a christian, he does go to church with me. We have been married 43 years and God has done great things in our marriage. I can’t wait to see what is next.
I’ve gotten behind in this challenge and just reached day 7 today. But this challenge is just what I needed to hear this morning. Lately I have spent too much time and effort trying to be “Christian” but have been neglecting Christ. This challenge led me to refocus on Christ. Tracie, thank you so much for your blog and for letting God use you in this ministry!