My Rock

I think my mother is the most special person in the world. Of course she is not perfect, but I can truly say that she would do anything, for anyone, at any time, at any costs. I wish I could say that about myself, but I know it wouldnt be true. I recognize that the level of selflessness that she possesses is a special gift from God. It takes years to achieve a heart that sweet and such an innate desire to always be there to meet the needs of others, even at your own expense. I just hope that one day I can live up to the example that she has set for me.

But despite knowing all that, she always tells me “you are my rock!”. We never cease to have a lot going on in our family, it sometimes seems we jump from one upsetting situation to the next, and that there is never a day that is completely worry-free. She and I are very close, so when she needs to talk, she calls me, and looks to me for encouragement, support and conversation – thus, the term “the rock”.

The truth is that I am so far from being a rock, it would be stretching it to even call myself a pebble. I have mastered the art of trying to stay cool, calm and collected in all situations. I have learned to hold my tears back until I get away from the painful situation, so that my tears dont cause others to feel bad or create any uncomfortable situations. I guess you could say that I have learned to always try to keep up the persona of the rock, even when inside, I feel like I want to crumble. So in summary, I am not a good rock at all!

I have been so crazy busy the past few months, that they seem like a big blur. Between preparing for speaking engagements; the chaos of family life with kids in elementary, middle and high school; football season and all the games and practices that come with it; the worsening of my sisters chronic illness; my mothers surgery; my step mothers lung cancer and her recovery; and so on, and so on, and so on, I found myself stressed, worried, fretting, and burdened.

So anyway, get the picture! No rock here! Just crumbles! As I sat on my bed in my hotel room at the retreat on Sunday morning preparing to give my message during our devotion time, I found myself trying to hold back the tears, and I just got on my knees and prayed. I felt so burdened, I just didnt think I could stand up in front of an audience and speak. I prayed for a lot of things that morning, but most of all, I prayed for God to be my rock.

Deuteronomy 32:4 says, “The Rock! His work is perfect,For all His ways are just; A God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He.”

I knew if I wanted to get through the weekend, I needed to quit trying to be the rock for everyone else, and start leaning on the The Rock that could truly hold me up. And guess what – as soon as I prayed that prayer, I felt Gods presence and suddenly had a sense of peace come over me. I felt reassured that no matter what was going in my life, that I could lean on God for support, encouragement and conversation. I was reminded that He is there, He is solid, even when Im crumbling.

I am confident that I would rather lean on The Rock, than try to be the rock. I just need to keep reminding myself of that every time I feel like Im going to crack!

1 Comment

  1. Joyful on Tuesday, September 23, 2008 at 11:10 am

    Tracie, I needed to be reminded that God is my Rock this morning.

    Your post made me think of this song. May the lyrics sing into your heart today too.

    Faithful One – Brian Doerksen

    Faithful One so unchanging
    Ageless One You’re my rock of peace
    Lord of all I depend on You
    I call out to You, again and again
    I call out to You, again and again

    You are my rock in times of trouble
    You lift me up when I fall down
    All through the storm
    Your love is the anchor
    My hope is in You alone

    On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
    Joy



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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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