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I love, love, love today’s reading suggestion and the amazing girl who wrote it. Amy Carroll is a precious friend, and gives so many women the gift of freeing themselves from the mindset that they have to be perfect, do everything perfect, and live the perfect life. Amy broke up with perfection and now lives a happier, more content life. If perfection is something you struggle with at times, I know her words below, and in the book, will be a blessing to you too.
Also be sure to check out the bottom of the post for information about Amy’s awesome free bible study that just kicked off yesterday, and how you can enter to win a free copy of Breaking Up With Perfect!
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Out of Control and Loving It
“It’s a good day when the water on the bathroom floor isn’t higher than the top of your sandals,” quipped my friend Cathy as our women’s conference in India drew to a close.
Now that’s a new measure of a good day!
India is overload for American senses. Your eye fills with the bright colors of saris, strings of marigolds for a festival, and stacks of fruit being sold in a roadside stand. In your peripheral vision, cars whiz by laced with motorcycles carrying whole families, and you think you might have just seen a bull in the midst of the traffic’s snarl.
The food is an explosion of ten thousand tastes in every bite. Unknown flying objects and pollution make the air a tactile experience, and my friend says that India is “an amusement park for the nose.” It’s the smell of spices, piles of trash, millions of bodies, and the fragrance of flowers.
India feels like chaos to this ordered American girl.
And I love it.
Part of my heart resides in India, but it seems hard to figure out why. I don’t speak the language, so sometimes communicating is difficult. There’s a different measure of cleanliness which presents significant challenges at times. The ways of people there—from eating to shopping to potties– are diametrically opposed to my own so that the culture shock is more like a sizzling bolt from the sky than a mild zap from a socket.
So why do I love it there so much?
I love the wildness of India. It teams with life in every inch, and it keeps me off kilter. India communicates the exotic, extreme Life of God to me. As CS Lewis said of his character Aslan, a lion who is the symbol of God in the Narnia stories, “He’s not a tame lion. But he’s good.”
Somehow in America, I slide back into my own view of perfection—a room perfectly straightened, mess-free relationships, a god who behaves the way I like and with the timing I approve. In India, all my cultural crutches are removed. I seek God in every move, and I see Him everywhere.
It’s in the midst of unpredictability that I sense the presence of God most acutely and when I feel the most alive. Yet I’ve been reluctant to give up control. From the time I was a little girl, I tried to shape myself and my environment to please others and earn love. It’s a mistake to try to live this way, though.
God crafted us to reflect His image, not to create our own.
Trying to shape our own image into what we consider perfect gives us less life instead of more. Perfection might make us feel more comfortable, but then we miss out on the majestic wildness of following our untamed but wholly good God.
Let’s break up with our idea of perfection and walk into the foreign land of trusting God fully as He shapes the perfect path for us filled with His Life.
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For a chance to win a free copy of Breaking Up With Perfect, leave a comment sharing one area of your life where you struggle with the desire for perfection.
Amy Carroll is the author of Breaking Up with Perfect and a speaker with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She lives in NC with her husband and a bossy miniature dachshund. You can find her on any given day texting her sons at college, typing at her computer, reading a book, or trying to figure out one more alternative to cooking dinner.
Join Amy for a FREE online book study of Breaking Up with Perfect from Aug. 1-September 5. She’s be sharing more of her lessons from India there, and you can find out all the details about joining in the fun and community by clicking here.
- the winner of Sharon Jaynes book from last week’s giveaway was Elsie, email has been sent.
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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.
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This is a book that has been on my to read list! I struggle with perfection in several areas of my life, but the one that I can’t seem to get past is family! I have this habit of trying to make all of their lives perfect, and I know that’s not possible, but I continue to be the constant “caregiver” even when they don’t ask. If I know something is wrong, or they are battling something, I jump in and try to fix it all!
I probably struggle in many areas and just am not aware. But the one on the top of my mind is being what everyone else seems to need and honestly, I’m tired of being a chameleon and want to find out who I really am.
I struggle with making my daughter my focus to be perfect. I guess I feel if she looks all put together then it reflects that I am all put together and our life is “perfect”
The one area I struggle with is the need to always be right and not opening myself up to what others think. I tend to say things out of line and not realize how it affects other people. Also being the constant caregiver of my family is wearing me down!
I still struggle with weight issues. I know that I need to lose weight, especially being a cancer survivor. I need to take care of my body. I don’t want to be perfect, just healthy. 🙂
Wow…this is soooo much me!!! I am a control freak…and sometimes just when I give it all to God…I take it back! I need to understand no matter what I do or day He is in control!!
I am a perfectionist at heart and love to be in control of “everything”. Would love to win this book.
One of the areas I struggle the most in is with my son’s academic struggles. I continue to push and push him but I need to understand that he isn’t the same way I was or the same way my daughter was. He has some learning disabilities and we are making some adjustments.
Wow! What don’t I struggle with to be perfect??! I want to be right (meaning perfect) about everything at home, work, public, etc. Maybe because so much is depended on me (although that may be just an excuse) My family depends on me at home to do everything, so this always puts added pressure to do it “perfectly.” They can be very lazy & inconsiderate & when asked why they didn’t do something, or how come they’re not helping me, their excuse is, “because we can’t do anything to please or suit you, you ALWAYS expect everything to be perfect!” I guess I have done it for so long, that I do not even realize that I am. So to avoid an argument, I just do it all myself to please ME, which has to be perfect!! I hate myself for being this way, but I can’t seem to stop. I grew up around a grandmother who was the same way. She constantly redid the dishes, cleaning, laundry… because I couldn’t do it to suit her. I swore I would never be like her in that way, well guess what? I’m told that I’m worse 🙁
I desire to allow God to be in control, not me, but it is a continuous struggle! I know that the only perfection in my life should be my walk with God & getting as close as I possibly can to His perfection! Much easier said than done…unfortunately.
Please help! Pray that I allow God to have complete control & let Him show me an alternative to my current way of doing things.
God bless & thank you,
Shelli
At times I feel I shouldn’t make any kind of mistake which is impossible. “With God all things are possible and He is with us every step of the way. Philippians 4:13 ” For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.” This brings joy – Psalm 68:3 – ” But let the godly rejoice ,Let them be glad In God’s presence . Let them be filled with joy.”
I really like to be in control, but with health issues that is not at all possible. Find myself “mothering” Daddy and then have to apologize for it. Big difference between caring and trying to control.
I definitely struggle with perfection in my work!
Perfection is a struggle for me at my job (“can’t do anything wrong, don’t want to get into trouble”), my scrapbooking (“gotta have the latetest and newest stuff”), my kids (“what will people think of me?”), my house (see kids)… the list goes on and on.
One area? Just one?!?! I feel like I struggle in EVERY area! I am a mom of two adopted children – and now that they are grown I feel like I failed to be the perfect parent….I am a wife who feels like I fail to be that Proverbs 31 wife….I am a teacher of middle school students and CONTINUALLY feel like I fail them, all 70+ of them…I am a daughter whose parents have long since gone to be with the Lord…and I failed to be that perfect daughter, I am a friend yet I fail to be the friend I want to be. See – I can’t even give the perfect answer of ONE are I struggle in! #lifebesodaily!
Projects and things I take on. I want everything to be just right.