Marriage Challenge Kickoff: PREPARE YOUR HEART

The randomly drawn winner of Friday’s giveaway of the book The Man Whisperer is

Linda who posted on March 8, 2013 at 11:57 am. If this is you, email me your address!

Several years ago I was at the hair salon and a young girl in the chair beside me spent thirty minutes excitedly talking about her wedding.

Oh yes, she had everything picked out. She explained to her hairdresser, in great detail I might add, what her wedding dress looked like, the color and style of the bridesmaids dresses, what the groomsmen were wearing, the flowers, the cake, the music, the guest lists, etc.

None of this seemed out of the ordinary for a bride-to-be, filled with excitement and anticipation about the most special day of her life. Until I heard her exclaim as she was leaving the salon, that as soon as she could find a man to marry her, everything would be perfect.   Huh?

You see, she had spent months, maybe years, planning for the wedding, but had given little, if any, thought to the reality of actually being married.  She seemed oblivious to the fact that marriage is a life time commitment, not one fairy tale day, and unfortunately, I believe that many brides set out in their new marriages with the same misconception.

As a glowing bride, we are in love, we have overlooked our fiances faults, we envision a life of bliss and mutual happiness, and look forward to our spouse meeting all of our needs while we pour our love upon him every day….only soon to discover that marriage is nothing like we expected.  Not to say that there aren’t wonderful, happy and fulfilling days in marriage, but when we expect all of our needs to be met by our husbands, and fail to acknowledge that our husband may also expect us to meet all his needs,  we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

So many times, when disappointment hits hard, women keep their marriage problems hidden inside their hearts, fearing what other people will think if they found out.  They think they are the only one with problems, and that everyone else’s marriage is just fine. What a tragedy that is, when so many marriages are hurting, and so many women desperately need a shoulder to lean on and someone to pray for them.

That is why I am so excited that nearly one thousand women have committed to walking through this 14 day Marriage Challenge with me, because marriage is hard work and we need each other for love and support, and there is power and strength in knowing that we are not alone.

So let’s get our minds in the right place as we pray about moving forward, by thinking back to when you first met your husband. Try to recall the feelings that you held in your heart, and the tingles that spread through your body whenever he called you, kissed you, or did something super sweet. Then reflect on your wedding day, and consider all of the thoughts that were running through your mind on that very special day. Maybe you’ve been married a long time, and it’s hard to think back that far, so ask God to bring memories to mind that you may have forgotten.

I bet you would agree that, just like that young girl in the salon, as you stood in your beautiful wedding gown staring into the eyes of your soon-to-be-husband and reciting heart felt vows meant to last a lifetime, that you were not thinking about things such as: dirty underwear and socks on the floor in the bathroom, razor stubble, nights out with the guys, hurtful secrets, dirty dishes, dirty floors, dirty diapers, snotty noses, long hours at the office, heated arguments , discouragement, and restless nights of trying to keep the pillows strategically placed in the center of the bed so that your man cannot get anywhere near you – am I right?!  And in the worst cases, no bride expects infidelity or pornography to painfully divide the relationship and cause a deep sense of betrayal and emptiness.

Despite all that may have happened, God is the only one who can fill that spot in our hearts that feels empty, needy and alone, especially when we are not getting the affection or love from our husbands that we so desire. God is the only One who can help us find peace, in the middle of a stormy relationship and He is the only Way to find the strength and desire to persevere in our marriage, especially when we feel like throwing in the white towel of defeat.

Unfortunately, today’s culture thinks marriage is a disposable commodity, rather than a covenant to treasure. But this mindset can be changed – one saved marriage at a time. God is the only who has the power to full restore what has been broken.

Sweet sister, whether your marriage is going along great, feeling a little stale, or on the brink of divorce, my prayer is that God will work miracles in your heart, your husband’s heart, and your marriage as we seek Gods wisdom and intervention through the challenges we will embark on over the next few weeks.  I believe with all my heart that God desires to see each one of us enjoy the joy and love that marriage is intended to bring, and that no matter what our problems are, our God is bigger.

The first daily challenge will be posted tomorrow, March 12th. But I want to encourage you to begin praying now about what God will speak to your spirit in the coming weeks. Prepare your spiritual ears to hear His voice, and open your heart to feel and see Him at work in you, your husband, and your marriage. Pray for humility if God steps on your toes, courage to walk in love, and grace for when you try and stumble. There is no guaranteed fix for any relationship, but with God, anything is possible.

We’re in this journey together friends. Let’s get our hearts ready for something incredible.

 

Special note: Over the next few weeks, my prayer is to offer tools, thought provoking insight and biblical support for improving your marriage and witnessing the power of God working in your heart and your relationship. However,  in many unfortunate situations, women are abused emotionally, verbally or physically, and any kind of mistreatment such as this is not blessed by God and certainly not biblical.  God does not expect anyone to endure this type of treatment and it is never deserved or justified.  If you find yourself in such a situation or you feel threatened or harmed in any way, please consider contacting your pastor or Christian counselor for advice immediately. You can also send a prayer request to our Proverbs 31 prayer team.

 

 

52 Comments

  1. Rachel on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Thank you for the encouragement this morning. I am hopefully anticipating what God has in store for me in this challenge.



  2. rachel on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 8:34 am

    thank you for this challenge. I am currently doing the love dare and it was going great then the last few days havent been as easy please pray that this challenge and the love dare will get better for me and my husband.



  3. Robin on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 8:41 am

    I know God is bigger than my marriage, my prayer is he will open mine and my husband’s hearts and remove all the bitterness and teach us his Love.



    • Lisa on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 1:25 am

      Just want to say , from my experience laying it down to the Lord God is so nice and watching him pick it up and restore all that is broken, you ladys are an inspiriation. God bless you.



  4. katie on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 9:01 am

    I’m in.



  5. Stephanie on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 9:05 am

    Thank you for this tool. It comes at just the right time. I came to faith in Christ several years ago and I have been waiting and praying for the Lord to break open my husband’s heart. We have a good marriage, 12 years this month but I want more. I want a Godly marriage. After years of praying and waiting and letting God work on me, I feel He is on the move in my husband’s life. My husband’s name is Mark and he has always struggled with anxiety. We are facing yet another cycle of his anxiety flaring up but something is different this time. I know the Lord will only bring Mark as far as he needs, until He has him where He wants him to be. So, I have complete faith and trust the God is working on Mark’s heart through these trials. My prayer is for me. Lord, you have changed Me, sanctified Me, broken and purified Me and I praise you and give thanks for it every day. I give thanks for the work you continue to do in me, please make me what you want be to be for him. Let your light shine through me in a way that touches the corners of his heart. Use me to help fufill your purposes in my husband’s life and make me wise enough to recognize your voice and strong enough to follow. Only through the precious blood of Jesus shed for me on the cross is any of this possible. I would covet any prayer offered for my husband and I and I will pray daily for each of us as we seek to strengthen our marriages in the name of Christ for the glory that is God’s alone!



    • tmiles on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 10:18 am

      Stephanie – thank you for sharing this powerful prayer with us! It certainly touched me and is one I will tuck into my heart and I hope others will do the same. I pray that yours husbands heart, will be acutely aware and sensitive to the efforts you are making to strengthen your marriage and this his desire to love the Lord will grow as he experiences the Lord through you being the hands of feet of Jesus in your own home. Amen.



    • Tory on Tuesday, March 19, 2013 at 2:02 pm

      Thank you for that post. My husband also suffers from severe anxiety and I try to keep that in mind when he lashes out at me and truly verbally abuses me. I fortunately survived my first marriage which involved physical and emotional abuse. When I am emotionally abused by my husbands now it scares so much. I really don’t know how God wants me to respond to this treatment. I know my husband might not mean to hurt me so badly or doesn’t understand the damage, I also would covet and appreciate your prayers and sharing of wisdom. Blessing.



  6. BJ on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 9:22 am

    I’m in!



  7. Dani Byham on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 9:31 am

    YES! We are about to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, and this is a truth that I am finally understanding: “…when we expect all of our needs to be met by our husbands, and fail to acknowledge that our husband may also expect us to meet all his needs, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment…God is the only one who can fill that spot in our hearts that feels empty, needy and alone, especially when we are not getting the affection or love from our husbands that we so desire.”



  8. Ashley on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 10:34 am

    I’m in!



  9. char on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Thank you for this inspiration this morning, looking forward to the coming weeks



  10. Yvette on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 11:25 am

    I’m in



  11. Julie on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 11:51 am

    God’s timing is always perfect. And I believe that God brought me here, to your blog at a time that I really need this for my marriage. Praying for you, Tracie, as you lead all of us in this journey.



    • tmiles on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 1:31 pm

      Thank you Julie! I so appreciate your prayers. 🙂



  12. Sara on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 11:53 am

    I’m in



  13. Jessica Reno on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    I’m In!



  14. Sherry B on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    I’mI with you! 26 years and counting and I have been through a trial I’m this marriage of mine and I affirm those true words that anything is possible with GOD!



  15. Kiersten Bragg on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    I am very excited to see what God would have for my marriage through this challenge.



  16. Kim on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    My husband is expected to move out April 1. I am believing that the Lord will restore our marriage however long it takes. I look forward to continuing to draw closer to the Lord though this challenge.



  17. Lisa on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    I’m in!



  18. Pam on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    I’m in.



  19. Julie on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    Tracie,
    I am really looking forward to this challange.I really need, help, support and guidence. I was in tears reading your devotion Building up your marriage. In considering your reflections I was totally convicted.

    Think about how important your husband’s love is to you and consider how much your respect means to him. My husband loves me dearly and I am so disrespecful and have so much displaced anger that falls on him.

    If your marriage seems strained right now, think about conversations with your husband lately. Have your comments been encouraging and uplifting, or discouraging and destructive? I have been very desctructive, I tear him down every chance I get. We are so stressed. My husband lost his job in december after working for his family buisness for 25 years. We had taken his parents in to live with us and have been caring for them for 5 years. His father passed away a year and a half ago. His Mother who is 89 still lives with us and has been very mean and critical of me. Also there has been many critisizms of our parenting. I have not only had to go to work full time but now overtime as well. I feel completly overwhelmed. I have so much bitterness. My husband is suffering from feeling worthless and is having a lot of depression and anxiety. We need to pull together. I am hoping this will help. Trusting God brought me this message for “such a time as this”



  20. Lindy Lou on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    I’m excited about the blessings this study will bring!



  21. Christina on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    Oh man, I was just so called-on-the-carpet in your paragraph about razor stubble, dirty floors, and strategically placed pillows!! This is going to be good….in the good-for-me kind of way…



  22. Andrea on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    I’m in.



  23. Kelli on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 11:45 pm

    I’m in



  24. Jessie Terry on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 12:01 am

    I’m so in!



  25. Sarah Jones on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 12:09 am

    I am in! Amen!



  26. Sarah Jones on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 12:10 am

    I am in!



  27. Janna on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 6:35 am

    I am in…



  28. mj on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 8:49 am

    Pray that he joins our family to church and through that starts a relationship with God. Sets an example of what a Godly man for our son and sets the standard of high of what our daughters should look for in their future husbands.



    • Karen on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 10:00 am

      I pray this also.



  29. christina on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 9:07 am

    i am in!!



  30. cindy on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 9:41 am

    I pray that he shows patience to our relationship and that he continues to believe God will change us for the better!



  31. Melanie on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 10:13 am

    I’m in! We are approaching our first year anniversary. I pray I can become a better wife, a better partner for my husband. I am praying that God will work miracles in my heart, my husband’s heart, and in our marriage to endure many anniversaries to come. I am excited to see what God has for our marriage!



  32. Mary on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 11:59 am

    My husband and I have been married now for almost 4 months. We both grew up in Christian families (O so different families though) and knew that after we got married life wouldn’t always be roses. My husband is everything I’m not. He is calm, collected, reasonable and PATIENT!- I am none of those.
    Some days I get so discouraged though because I feel like things should be going differently. Now after reading I realize that I have been praying all wrong. As hard as it is for me to say, I need to change my attitude and my thoughts.
    Today and everyday I hope that God reminds me of how important Loving my husband with prayer can be.
    Today I pray that as we are still newly weds, God would show him the direction of a Godly leader, husband and (someday) father.
    As for me I pray God would soften my heart to see my husbands needs and not mine.



  33. Laurie M on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    I pray that God heals my husband spriritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. I pray for his return to the church and he starts to strengthen his relationhip with God.



  34. Ellen on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    I pray that God heals our marriage. Forty one years, and it is going down hill. I pray that my husband has patience and understanding. I pray that he finds a hobby and starts to enjoy his life. Five children, all grown, and we have an empty nest. It is tough.



  35. Nancy on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 at 11:54 pm

    I am praying for my husband’s health and his job. I’m excited to have found this challenge and look for to God’s blessings on my marriage!



  36. Kiki on Wednesday, March 13, 2013 at 1:16 am

    If this were the only bit of advice you offered, it’s already a blessing to me 🙂 My husband & I have been having a lot of struggles, mainly resulting from his work being so sporadic over the past few years. I know that we have been going thru a spiritual battle as well, as satan would love to see me run. I’m so thankful for God already answering prayers over the past week. Things are better & I know that with God, we will make it. My heart was so hardened when I signed up for the 14 day challenge & God has already worked miracles in both of us. I’m looking forward what lies ahead in the next 2 weeks. Thank you & God bless!!!!



  37. Shamika D. on Wednesday, March 13, 2013 at 8:32 am

    Are any of you getting the marriage challenge sent to your email? I missed yesterdays 🙁 I am already enjoying this and I’m sharing this with my best friend who’s a newlywed.

    Thanks,



    • Tory on Tuesday, March 19, 2013 at 2:05 pm

      I just got my first



  38. Alex Paredes on Wednesday, March 13, 2013 at 9:22 am

    I’m in!!!!



  39. Michelle Hapeman on Wednesday, March 13, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    please get me up to speed w/this great info! I am in!!



  40. Kathy D on Thursday, March 14, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    I’m a day or two late, but I’m in. It has been a rough last few years, especially the last few months. I’m hoping to be able to celebrate our 20 yr anniversary. Thank you Tracy for doing this, and thank God I found this!



  41. Nadine on Sunday, March 17, 2013 at 3:03 am

    I am in



  42. Debra Jones on Sunday, March 17, 2013 at 8:15 am

    I’m in and looking forward to changes!



  43. eunice grace on Sunday, March 31, 2013 at 9:51 am

    im in, too…even though quite late already.



  44. https://fortalent.com/ on Sunday, August 4, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    At this time it appears like BlogEngine is the top blogging platform out there right now.
    (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your
    blog?



  45. uggs on sale on Sunday, December 29, 2013 at 6:20 am

    michael kors handbags on sale”As we keep humanizing our pets, we want them with us more and more,” observed Vetere, who motors around with his own pampered golden retriever She died on December 17michael kors handbags on
    sale
    michael kors handbags on sale”As we keep humanizing our pets, we want them with us more and more,” observed Vetere, who
    motors around with his own pampered golden retriever She died on December
    17michael kors handbags on sale
    michael kors handbags on sale”As we keep humanizing our pets, we want them with us more and more,” observed
    Vetere, who motors around with his own pampered golden
    retriever She died on December 17michael kors handbags on sale



  46. shoulder bags on Wednesday, June 18, 2014 at 9:25 am

    Hello to every single one, it’s truly a fastidious for me to
    pay a quick visit this website, it consists of ppriceless Information.



Headshot Flipped 2

Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

Living-Unbroken-3DwithShadow

Available Now!

Subscribe to Tracie’s Blog

Receive the Living Unbroken Battle Plan Workbook for free if you subscribe to Tracie’s blog today!
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.

Tracie's Books