Don’t Cry Over Spilled Shampoo

It started out as an exciting project, but turned into one that is not only giving me gray hair, but making me want to pull out those gray hairs. One by one.

It’s a project called home renovation.  If you’ve ever been through it, you probably feel my pain.

It seemed like a simple goal to renovate two bathrooms in dire need of updating after seventeen years of use, but has morphed our entire house into a disaster zone. At this point, both bathrooms, five closets, an office, a play room and a laundry room have all somehow been affected by this project because of wiring, ducts, and plumbing jobs. Since we had no closets, our entire family’s wardrobe was on racks from Walmart in the playroom.   I could write my name in sheetrock dust on all the furniture, despite how many bottles of Pledge I go through.  And there’s a big ugly green dumpster in my driveway.

We’ve had designers give poor advice, and sub contractors break lamps, cause delays, no -show, quit, and even steal from us. After waiting six weeks for the tile installer to show up, he said he was too busy, recommended someone else, but then they quit. We had to pick out tile three separate times due to supply problems, then when it finally arrived and got half installed, it was all wrong  – and we have to start over. To top it all off, the old air conditioning unit kicked the bucket.

And did I mention our family of five is all using one shower in a very tiny spare bathroom? Have mercy.  But it was a spilled bottle of shampoo that pushed me over the edge.

I had splurged and bought a new type of shampoo that had a price tag I don’t normally want to pay for, but I needed a good moisturizing shampoo for the summer months. The following day I found it on the floor of our community bathroom, with half the contents spilled out into a huge gooey puddle. I cleaned it up and felt a little aggravated. The following day, I found it there again, in another gooey puddle. Two thirds of my coveted shampoo had become floor polish. How hard is it for someone to pick up a bottle when it obviously falls  off the tub wall onto the floor? I cracked.

Tears flowed and frustration spilled out as easily as that shampoo had from the bottle. Bless my husband’s heart, he happened to walk into the community bathroom right about that time. This project had gotten beyond aggravating, and reached the insanity point. Let me say it just wasn’t a great start to a new day. For either of us.

I got over my little pity party  and went on with my day. But I was whining about this seemingly endless and frustrating situation to a friend, when they gently said to remember James 1:2. I will confess, I wasn’t in the mood to look up a bible verse. Yet I did.

Under the section title of Faith and Endurance, James 1:2 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.”

Joy? Not feeling it. But reading this verse prompted me to think back for a moment. Think back to how fortunate we are to have lived in our home for seventeen years, and raised all of our kids here. Think back to all the memories this house holds. Think back to all the years I’ve wanted to remodel these bathrooms as they had become run down and damaged from use. Think back to how long it took us to get to a place where we could even consider this project, and how much God had blessed us. Think about the lessons we are learning as a family about tolerance, closeness and perseverance.

After all thinking back, I found myself feeling guilty. God had blessed us with this house, home, family, and the funds to tackle this project, and I was crying over a bottle of spilled shampoo like a two year old. Well, it wasn’t just the shampoo, but that had become the final kicker. 

Through this short little scripture, God helped me see that it was time for an attitude adjustment. I had allowed the frustrations of the projects and the condition of my home to steal my joy and take my eyes off of the things that really matter. I had forgotten to be thankful and joy filled by all the things that filled up this home, other than dust and chaos. Like family. Love. Happiness. Health. Marriage. Provisions. Blessings. Jesus.

Most of the time we reach the breaking point for much more serious reasons than a frustrating home project. We may be facing serious hardships or adversities which seem to have no end in sight, and drain our hearts and minds of joy or hope. What a great reminder we find in James 1:2 to take our thoughts captive to the good things in life, instead of just the bad, and to purposely, intentionally choose joy instead of tears, anger, or hopelessness – even in the midst of chaos and trouble. And even when a child who will remain nameless spills your expensive shampoo all over the floor, twice.

Instead of writing my name in the sheetrock dust this week, I think I’ll etch in another word instead. Joy.

Is it possible you need to refocus on blessings this week, instead of the things stealing your joy?

 

11 Comments

  1. Colette on Tuesday, May 20, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Tracie, been there! Done that! Except we had NO working shower and toilet!! Yes we were VERY creative in making due!! Thankfully we live in a warm climate and could take our baths outside with the garden hose!! Oh thanks for the reminder! I can remember feeling VERY Thankful when we were all done with the remodeling!! I don’t remember how long it took but I am sure it FELT a whole lot longer than it REALLY took! Hang in there!! I love reading your posts! Even the half one I got in my email! 😉



    • tmiles on Tuesday, May 20, 2014 at 11:41 am

      Colette – that gives me one more thing to be thankful for! Bathing in a garden hose would have probably pushed me to the edge a little sooner! Haha. Thanks!



  2. Amy Clack on Tuesday, May 20, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    Thank you so much for this reminder!
    The last several months of my life have been a roller coaster – oldest daughter(12) being diagnosed with a life threatening disease and spending 2 full months in the hospital after never being sick ever, all while I was 7-8 months pregnant with her baby brother. Finally getting her home after almost losing her 3 times and the birth of our sweet boy 7 days later. Just when life seemed to get to a “normal”, we decided to have our kitchen redone to make it better for our growing family.
    Well, a month after they were suppose to start we still haven’t begun, stuff all over my house and the frustration of delay and how stressed I was, I’ve had several pity parties for myself.
    It’s a daily habit now to look at my sweet girl who is still with us and our new blessing and just breathe and remember how much God has given me and how great His love is for me. He daily amazes me at how He sends a word, a quiet reminder, a friend to encourage or help to simply say ” I’m here and I haven’t forgotten you. I have it all under control.”



  3. Ashley on Wednesday, May 21, 2014 at 7:43 am

    I definitely needed this little reminder! As a college student (once again; it’s a long story with God written all over it) you would think that the summer break would be my chance to relax and in regards to physical relaxation, it is. Mental relaxation is a whole other story though. When my mind doesn’t have classes to focus on it focuses on pretty much everything else which ends up causing tension headaches. I finally got to a point on Monday where, in trying to seek God and ask Him how I should handle the tension I am causing myself, He responded with, “Give it to Me. Let Me handle your stress and worry.” He brought to mind Jonah, who tried to run away from God only to find that no matter where you go or what you do, you cannot escape God or what He has asked you to do. So now I am at a place of continual prayer that God would reshape my thought processes about what is causing me stress and bring along someone to encourage me as I face fearful situations. So far that person has not yet made their entrance but I sense that they will soon!



  4. Susan on Thursday, May 22, 2014 at 11:45 am

    I live in my parents’ rental house. When I moved in seven years ago, it wasn’t finished. It took my dad and me (one friend helped one morning move the heavy stuff) just about a full month to make the move 1/2 mile from my apartment to the house. During that time, there were no doors in the rooms…and the bathroom is in the middle of the house. If you had to go, you had to “announce” and whoever else was there had to stay put so they couldn’t see in the bathroom. Dad was still working on some of the flooring, which meant moving things (including the water heater) around. For several weeks, I would come home not knowing if I would have water or not, whether the stove/oven would be plugged in, what room the microwave would be in, and everyday my dad rearranged my living room furniture. I am one of those “a place for everything and everything in it’s place” kind of people, so you can guess my feelings on all the “movement”. Oh yes, it was also summer in Indiana with no air conditioning. Did I mention I was also working full time during the week, a part time job every other Sunday afternoon, and taking a grad school class on Saturdays? The only thing that kept me sane during that month was knowing that one day in 20 years, I would look back on that month and laugh. It didn’t take 20 years to be able to laugh, but I sure wasn’t laughing that month!



  5. Susan Gruener on Friday, May 23, 2014 at 3:45 am

    Thanks Tracie for being real. Life can be downright unfun sometimes, but we do have so much to be thankful for. I’ve been there too, getting so frustrated I could cry a river, but instead I looked at my life, my family, what God has blessed us with…saying Thank you to God and being grateful for everything He has done for us, makes the ‘hard’ places in life somehow take a back seat.
    Thanks for the great reminder!



  6. Lisa on Friday, May 23, 2014 at 8:01 am

    I remember when my husband and I decided that our kitchen needed remodeling. He wanted us to do the work ourselves. After six layers of flooring to scrap up (only to realize that the last one was stuck for good), uneven walls, bad wiring, and a bad paint decision I’m surprised we didn’t end up in divorce court. We learned a very important lesson though. Hire a contractor for any other remodeling planned and we have a lot of projects. I look back on this learning experience and realize that we should be grateful that we have a roof over our heads and jobs to pay for the remodeling. Unfortunately, my daughter just bought a fixer upper emphasizing the fix. I’ve tried to make her realize how blessed she should feel to be a homeowner at 23 and that it takes time to make it your home.



  7. Amy on Monday, May 26, 2014 at 8:14 am

    Perfect and timely reminder for me. Thank you of sharing and encouraging me!



  8. Yvette Karantounis on Wednesday, July 23, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Just what I needed today!! Been facing some difficult times lately and this verse was the encouragement I needed. I tend to forget to look for joy or the blessing I do have. I tend to focus on the why me. This trials that I have been facing have made me step vack and refocus on what really is important. Having fun with my kids and laughing!!! I am so grateful to God for everything and helping me find Proverbs 31 ministry for encouragement.
    GOD bless you all today!!!!



  9. Melissa on Wednesday, July 23, 2014 at 10:57 am

    I want to be stressed less! Our mounting debt & my husband losing his job may have been the trigger that set off the tailspin of my life when I became ill & was finally diagnosed with Graves disease this winter. I am mom to 2 small children, ages 2 & 4, and I work full time as a teacher. I found myself in the darkest time of my life during the time when I should be the happiest. I have two beautiful, healthy children, but all I could think about was how terrible my life was. I prayed and cried, ALOT, and still do. With medication I am starting to feel some relief from my physical symptoms, but the emotional toll on myself & those I love has been devastating. I try to find joy and not be so anxious, but it is really hard. I have thought about trying to see a counselor, but I don’t think my family can afford the bills and I don’t know who would watch my kids so I could go…
    I know that becoming this “broken” has brought me closer to God & that is a good thing, but I must say that all of the Christian songs about wanting to be “broken” just make me think, I’m already here Lord…Now I’m ready to be rebuilt!
    Thanks for the devotion, I needed this today.
    I am trying to find more joy & stop crying over things like spilled shampoo.
    I know I am blessed & want to be joyful instead of full of sadness & frustration.
    Today is a new day and I am looking forward to an even brighter tomorrow.



  10. Becky on Wednesday, July 23, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    Thanks for this reminder! Our daughter chose to remain in Raleigh this summer instead of coming home from school; she has rented an apartment with friends, and has taken summer school classes. Of course, Mom and Dad were consulted – but we have been expected to support her financially! Not only has this caused some bleeding in our budget, but stress since she won’t call to ask for money until she needs to pay a bill tomorrow. I have had several pity parties this summer, and swallowed a lot of anger and frustration with the entire situation. I know that dear daughter is grateful for the assistance, but she doesn’t seem to be able to communicate that in any way, and she becomes very closed off if we bring up ways that may help her manage her finances, like budgeting. …
    This scripture reminds me that I am grateful that we have been blessed with enough to help out; there was a time when that would have been impossible. I can also look forward to her college graduation in December, which will bring joy to us all. I’m going to keep this scripture very close, because I think it could be a long few months!



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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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