Teaching Your Child The Importance of Their Best Yes

My kids just love when I feel compelled to share with them a nugget of truth that I either read in God’s Word or came across in a book I was reading. Ummm, NOT!

But, I share away anyway. And the other day I could hardly wait to share something with my daughter Kaitlyn who was leaving for her Freshman year of college in just a few short days.

I was quietly reading The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst, and got to Chapter Six, and I was so moved by what I read, I just had to share it! So I cornered Kaitlyn in the kitchen and started reading the chapter aloud. At first she just sweetly listened (after all, what choice did she have) but then she realized that what she was hearing really was great advice.

Advice that applied to her as she was getting ready to embark on a new life away from home. Without rules. Without parents. Without someone telling her what to do all the time or helping her make her own decisions.

Lysa wrote about remembering her own high school graduation, sitting in a room where “the air was electric was possibility.”  I thought that quote summed up the universal feeling at any graduation.  But when graduation is over, decisions have to be made. Decisions which eventually “become tomorrow’s circumstances.”

Lysa hypothetically imagined what graduation would be like if someone could share a glimpse of the future, and see where some of these graduates might end up. Some stories were joyful and promising,while  some were heartbreaking. Some were filled with success, and others were disappointing. Everyone had made decisions, but some were the wrong decisions, and the result was a lifetime of consequences.

Then she summed up how she felt at her own graduation, and I could so relate. Lysa said she had “a heart full of naive hope that a girl with great dreams and good intentions would get where she wanted to go. If it felt good, it looked good, and it must be good.”  Ever felt that way? I know I have, and therefore I know my children have too, especially the two that have already graduated and are in college now.

She went on to explain in this chapter how a couple situations presented themselves, but she made good decisions, and in turn, avoided the negative consequences that could have followed. Then her decision to begin attending church was the best one she ever made, because it put her “heart in a place to receive truth” and got her headed in a whole new direction.

I finished my little reading episode with Kaitlyn by sharing this last quote, “Our decisions aren’t just isolated choices. Our decisions point our lives in the directions we’re about to head.” Kaitlyn nodded her head in agreement, probably trying to avoid the deep mommy-daughter discussion about to ensue. Smiles.

But I loved how Lysa encourages us as women to chase down our decisions and think about where each one will take us – no matter how small or how big – rather than just go with our gut in the moment. And who could ask for a better teaching opportunity for my little-girl-soon-to-be-college-student leaving the nest for the first time?  I want my children to know that every decision matters, and that no matter how much they learn at college, nothing will trump the importance of putting her heart in a place to receive truth. Because God’s truth is what sets our life in the right direction.

We can’t protect our children from wrong decisions, and can’t make their decisions for them, but we can teach them that their decisions matter. We can help them look past the present, into the future, and encourage them to think and pray about the choices they will be faced with making.

If you ask me, I kinda think reading that excerpt of the book to Kaitlyn was my best yes for the day. Now I pray that when she is faced with a hard decision, she’ll think twice and try to make sure she chooses her best yes too.

______________

photo[2]Is this message about making decisions – when to say yes and when to say no – one that you can relate to? Is this a message you would like to share with your child, like I shared with Kaitlyn?

I’m excited to be giving away four copies of The Best Yes this week to two lucky winners!  One copy for you, and one to give away to a friend or child who needs to hear this message.

To enter to win, just leave a comment sharing why you could use this message and who you’d like to give the extra The Best Yes book too. Good luck!

* This post is part of Lysa TerKeurst’s “The Best Yes’ Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, click here. 

 

Tracie

Comments

  1. Elaine Segstro says

    We all make decisions each day, and we need Godly wisdom for answering “yes” or “no” to opportunities. I know I often get “overwhelmed”, but “underwhelmed” spiritually. I would LOVE to read this book, and the other copy would be for my son who is in college.

  2. Linda says

    I will also share this message with my college age daughter. She is not a freshman, she is a junior. And she is not going away, she is living at home and commuting, but she is faced with decisions every day and I hope to help her to start thinking more about her BEST yes and the thoughtful no more often than not. Teaching her to CHASE down her decisions just as I am trying hard to do more and more. Thank you for your insight.

  3. says

    The message of The Best Yes that I keep reading in P31 devotions, on blogs like yours and Lysa’s, and on social media is letting me know that this book is chocked full of truth that I need to hear. I have many friends with whom I would most certainly share a copy should I win. Thank you for sharing this nugget of truth here today. How many times I could have thwarted hard consequences if I had only thought through what my choices would lead to. Yes, this is a great truth to share with those we love who are heading off to a college campus for the first time and even with those who are a bit seasoned : )

  4. Janet F says

    Lysa is such a powerful speaker and writer and so full of wisdom and insight. I wish I would have had these truths from her book while growing up myself and also while raising my boys, but now I can use them and help to point my grandchildren in the right direction. The direction of God’s truth. I would give this book to my oldest grandaughter if I win, if not I will give her mine when I am done with it. Thanks for sharing this awesome story Tracie!! ♥ God bless!

  5. Gail VanHoy says

    My daughter is 15 and we are exact opposites! I struggle to get through to her about thinking what you are doing before actually doing it. She is also struggling with her faith. Her father and I have been divorced since she was 8 and his decisions are not good, to say the least. But, she feels sorry for him and I can see her taking him in when she is on her own. I would love to read excerpts to her, like you did, to make sure she hears it. And I know other ladies in my bible study would love a copy to help with their children also! Thanks Tracie.

  6. Jeni says

    Thank you for this inspiration. Last week, I shared with my daughter Lysa’s blog/devotional about pre-deciding. It was one of the most powerful devotionals that I have read for young women. My daughter is in the 8th grade and is on the verge of having to make some big and potenitally life changing decisions. Teaching her to protect her own heart and protect her own body and protect her own soul NOW is so important. I can’t make her decisions for her. I have told her I will love her no matter what. The advise of pre-deciding and thinking about potential circumstances she will be faced with was advise we both needed. It has given me the opportunity to teach and her the opportunity to learn. My life would certainly be different if I had pre-decided! I have battled much regret for very poor choices that I made when I was young. My prayer is that my daugther can decide ahead of time and avoid some poor decisions. It is also important for her to read and hear it from someone else other her mama. Tracie, cannot tell you how much your devotionals and Lysa’s have made a difference in my life and hopefully my precious daughter’s.

  7. Rebecca R says

    Lysa’s writing speaks directly to my type A heart. The Lord has really used her as a Titus 2 women in my life to guide me in my quest to love my husband and children. I would share a copy with a new believer that I am trying to encourage in the Lord.

  8. says

    I have five children with three still at home. They are 22, 18 and 15 and are at a time in their lives where they will make important choices every day. It is hard as a Mom to give guidance but not control their decisions and to believe that God is watching over them. This book could help me to convey what is in my heart about the decisions they will make as their adult lives begin. Thank you, Lysa, for your wisdom and Tracy for sharing this wonderful book opportunity!

  9. angie steffen says

    I would love to receive this book. I would give it to my 13 yr old twin girls. The stretch themselves out so thin that they are stressed. Telling their friends NO is hard for them, when that friend wants them to go out for a sport or production.

  10. Dori Sheese says

    I purchased “The Best Yes” for myself and a friend, but I would love to have one for my son who is a senior in high school, and my nieces, who are young moms.

  11. Kristina D says

    Right now I want to have an underwhelmed schedule and an overwhelmed soul instead of the reverse. I know of many friends that could use the words that Lysa shares in her book. I would be torn about which would need it most. I would probably share the copy with my friend Becky. I think we all could use help in deciding when it’s best to say yes and when to say no. I can’t wait to read the words that Lysa has written. Thank you for this opportunity!

  12. Debbie says

    I would love to get a copy of Lysa’s book, feel I really need it at this time of my life! I agree its never too late to learn to weigh our choices and decisions, thank you for sharing this wise nugget! Something I not only need to learn myself but need to pass on to my three daughters as they begin to face the world outside of home and to many friends as we all deal with the many pressures we all receive on a daily basis of things to do (many times good but not always the best). May the Lord help us learn to look to Him for wisdom in making both the big and the small choices every day.
    Thank you for sharing!!

  13. Amber M. says

    as a young mother of two grade school kids i am always looking for the very best tools for my primary role as their life long teacher/example. I would love to learn to portray and pass on the very best God has to offer through me. I also have a life long friend that is fairly new to her faith. She is an avid learner and is right now soaking in wisdom far beyond what i can personally offer. I love turning her on to new and some old place i have found wisdom and support in my own walk through my personal faith and i think she would love this book as well. thanks for your post!

  14. Mary Lou Kleveland says

    I think Lysa’s new book is so timely and so important for women to read right now. We are constantly pushed to do more and “be” more and because of that, I often struggle with saying no. I’ve already been so encouraged by what I have heard about this book. I would share the other book with my best friend who, like me, struggles with finding the best yes.

  15. says

    I love the story about your daughter! I remember my dad doing the same thing…at the time I didn’t always enjoy it, but now they are some treasured memories! And I’m continuing his legacy and often find myself saying what he often did, “You have to hear this!!” I know Lysa’s book is one I need and would love to share the insight with my kids by living out what I learn and sharing her words with them. Thank you for this!!

  16. Lisa says

    I would love the opportunity to share this book with my son who is a sophomore in high school. If I could only get him to understand the importance of the decisions his is beginning to make and the impact it will have on his life as an adult. As a parent I see the mistakes I made when I was younger and oh how I would love to spare him. Thank you for sharing!

  17. Jennifer F says

    I would love to share this advice with my teenage daughter. I know our kids don’t enjoy those kind of talks with their parents, but I know they do hear and file it away for future reference — at least I keep telling myself that! ;) I would also like to share this entire book with a dear friend who could use some help in prioritizing her life. Saying yes to everything means many things are suffering. Thanks for the chance to win.

  18. Dottie says

    Thank you for sharing with your daughter. . . . thanking God that her heart was open to you. I think about my own daughter that has chosen to marry someone that I would love that she stop to think about “future”. Hopefully, mothers will read this and desire to instill more of His hearts desire for their children at a young age, keeping their hearts ripe and ready for God’s next move. Thank you, again.

  19. Heather says

    I would love to read The Best Yes because I am a momma of two little ones. TO get the insight now, would make it so much easier once it comes to time for them when they are grown up and leave for college or whatever they want to endeavor in their lives. I have a wonderful close friend who is like my older sister and has a soon to be 17 year old daughter, whom I love as if she was my own (she could actually pass as my own daughter!) that I know would benefit immensely from this book. She recently recommitted her life to Christ and is so in love with Christ. I want her to continue with that fire throughout her life. She is SO SPECIAL and important to me. My children adore her and view her as an aunt, well my daughter does, but my 4 year old son sees and calls her his girlfriend. That’s her nickname. Nothing would make my heart happier than to see the look on her face when I gave her the book if I won a set! I’m elated for a chance to win…..maybe this time I would win something, LOL! ;)

  20. Apryl says

    I believe we all have problems saying no … I know I do because I want to make everybody happy even when it’s not best for me and my family to do so. I would love to read this book and learn how to be underwhelmed in everyday life.
    I would give a copy to my mother-in-law who is going through some tough decisions in her life right now and I believe could really benefit from reading this as well.

  21. Kathy says

    It is so true that our present decisions will shape our future. If we are focused on our desires and dreams, we lose sight of the need to include the Lord Jesus in all aspects of our living. I would enjoy reading this book and would send one to my sister who is going through a hard time in her life.

  22. Amber B. says

    I would love to share this with both of my sons who are 13 & 11. They are both exactly like me and no matter what, how busy I am, or how I feel about the situation, I can never say no. Since they are both still young, I’d love for them to learn the power of saying no and not to feel like they always have to say yes.

  23. Becky says

    I made so many bad choices as a young woman, but through Gods grace found my way to him! I would love to read this book, because Like many women, struggle with saying no. I am often overwhelmed at the many choices that bombard me on a daily basis-often all good choices. I would also like to impart this wisdom to my kids-2 in college now & 1 in high school. I hope& pray they will make better choices than I did at their age. Thanks, Tracie for the words of encouragement!

  24. Janet says

    Oh how I would love to win this book! Thanks for the giveaway!

    I would give a copy to a friend and start a small book club. I have always wanted to do that :)

    I want to give God my best yes every day!!!!

  25. says

    Hi! Thanks for your article, and the chance to win! I’m hoping to do the study coming up in September in the proverbs group. Although I get your email and there’s no links to pop over to leave a comment so it was a little hard to get here with all the links to the book etc… Just FYI … But I would love to get a book, and I would love to give the book to my neighbor, she’s the block mom and she’s got two older teenage girls one who’s just started college one who is in her junior year of high school and she does the Christian out reach bus and she’s just always on the go and always giving of herself, and I’m always telling her that she needs to take time to replenish! ;)

    Blessings
    Kelly

  26. Jess r says

    I’d love to read this book. Every day there are do many decisions to be made, it’s nice to have a guideline helping with the right answers. I’d give the other book to my best friend who has a hard time saying no to people and is miserable because of it.

  27. Geralyn says

    I would love to give a copy of this book to my 17 year old daughter who will be leaving home soon, away from my daily nuggets of wisdom. :-) Sometimes I think she only absorbs the info if she reads it. This would do the work for me!

    • says

      க மத ன வ ய ன ல ம பச த தன ம ப க த ! OBCs will also behave thveemless in relationship with SCs and STs in future when life in villages gets more and more urbanised, meaning the worth and importance of the individual as against the group begin to be valued. The labels ‘SCs’ and ‘STs’, too, will fall off. Improvement in social conditions in the lives of OBCs/ SCs/ STs will render caste identities imposed by Brahmins redundant and otiose. I mean, no religion will be contexulaised with castes. The orthodox Brahmins and their lickers’ will have to revamp the core values of their religion in order to survive in the new world. The writings of Tilak, Hegdewar and Savarkar for brahminical glory will become a laughing stock. As Arul has pointed out time and again, our society should liberate itself from the brahminical values first. His is not a original idea: it is Periyaar’s. If you conduct rig vedic yaga in your temple, no one but your relations and your lickers, is going to mind you. You and your lickers can do any thing : it wont impact the general society as a whole, unlike in the past when yours was the only religion and the Hindu social philosophy was to be observed by one and all.If at all there are quarrels between people, it wont be on the bases of castes from religion, but for the scramble for the scant resources and due to inequal distribution of such resources only. Such a scramble is a perennial and bitter reality of human life, as you know.

  28. MissyB says

    Being a pastors wife and working full time, I’m always struggling to figure out what Gods best yes. I have a lot of people/ members try to tell me what they think the pastors wife should do and be at. And I would share this book with my accountability girls.

  29. Lynn Bowman says

    Hi Tracie! I would love to win a copy of this book for myself and also for my 21 year old daughter who is really starting to navigate the waters of adulthood. She’s learning to make her own decisions and live with the consequences. I think this book will help her to make better decisions and for the right reasons. Who knows, maybe she’ll share what she learns with her 16 year old brother and 14 year old sister! This mama is praying so!!

  30. Laura says

    Thank you for this post. I am appreciating all the posts about this new book and would love to read it. I continue to pray for God to underwhelm my schedule so that He can overwhelm my soul!

  31. Michele says

    I loved this post. My daughter is starting Jr High but it still applies because it is a whole new world and she is gaining more independence which means more responsibility. I want her to realize the gravity of decisions as she gets older.
    I have already purchased the book but if I were to be the lucky winner, I would give one copy to my daughter to read and mark-up/underline/write in the margins. And then I would give the second copy to a dear friend of mine that I would like to join the OBS. I think if I just handed her the book and said “hey… be on this journey with me” then it would open up a whole new door for her with P31 Ministries OBS and other great bloggers/authors like you, Tracie.
    I feel like The Best Yes is coming at a very needed time for me. I have so much anxiety going on right now about making it all happen for our household with new routines and schedules and I am stretched so thin. Looking forward to this OBS.

  32. Niki says

    I found P31 just before the What Happens When Women Say Yes to God bible study began. I was at the lowest point I had ever been. My faith was shattered, I was playing church from the platform – it wasn’t good. I was raised in church, I knew the truth, but I let lies devour me. That bible study changed my life – no joke. And after I had highlighted it, and made notes and read it more than once, I handed it to my sister, who has handed it off to a friend….

    I have wasted so many yeas saying YES to the wrong things but now I want my YES to be towards God and what he would have me to do – even if doing so means being uncomfortable and unpopular. And I would like to share that again with my sister – or even my niece.

  33. Lisa says

    I’ve heard & read so much about this book! Thank you for the opportunity to win a copy for myself & for my 22 yr. old daughter who will be graduating from college in Dec. This would be excellent to reinforce the importance of all her decisions. The Proverbs 31 Min is making such a difference in the lives of so many. Thank you for your part in this ministry!

    • says

      I want to to thank you a lot more in the amazing site you could have creeatd here. It happens to be complete with ideas for people who are really thinking about that subject, in particular this very post. Youre really all amazingly sweet and thoughtful of others and reading your blog posts a great love my estimation. And such a generous gift! Mary and I will probably have fun utilizing your suggestions with what should do in the near future. Our listing is really a distance long and only put tips is perhaps offer excellent use.

  34. Cara Howard says

    I’ve heard a lot about this book, and am in a season of life where I’ve been a little overwhelmed and exhausted by so many “asks” on my time and energy. I want to learn how to choose well and teach my kids to do the same. I grew up as an overcommitted child and have been in a backlash for many years, but am now struggling with saying NO to make room for the best YES choices in my life. (I have several friends in mind dealing with these same issues!). Thanks!

  35. Linda N says

    I’ve spent most of my life saying yes to anything & everyone thinking it was a guarantee to being liked, needed, and approved. The flip side of that was that I was often having to say no to the people most important to me because I was over obligated. I knew my family loved me, so didn’t find need to buy their affection. Little did I realize how much I was cheating them & myself. My husband passed away several years ago, and I’m grateful that before he passed, I was learning to prioritize my family & many of our “yeses” were family yeses. I would love to win a copy of The Best Yes to read with my sons & one for my sister.

  36. Alice says

    I’ve heard so much about this book and when I saw that you had posted this on twitter and someone retweeted, thought I would catch your blog! I will definitely be subscribing :) love reading inspiring stories and insights about growing our children (and ourselves) in The Lord. Just read on the better mom about “pre-deciding” choices (I think that came from this book too!) and had a conversation with all 3 of my kids that night! I really need to read this book… I have a niece that recently left for college, her mom sent me her address yesterday and she’s the first person that popped in my mind so I guess that second copy would go to her!! How I wish I had a relationship with Christ my first 23 years of life and a better guide for decisions and how they would affect my life. However, I am so fortunate to say that Jesus saved me! My decisions may have consequences that are still with me but with Jesus by my side, I can’t go wrong!!
    Thanks!

  37. Anna says

    Great post, Our 18 year old daughter just graduated from high school in May and left home, she just got a job and is waiting to get into culinary school. I have a older daughter who has a terrible time saying no and is so in need of this book. If I wear to winner two copies, I would give them to my girls….
    I cant wait to read this book.
    Blessings and Thank You Anna

  38. Bethany says

    I’d like to get some perspective before reaching a point where I’m overwhelmed, and I think this book would do that for me. I’d probably give the other copy to a client at the pregnancy clinic where I work and volunteer.

  39. Anne says

    A very relevant message for this time as everything starts up for another year….can really use this book for myself and then to share with my young adult “kids” Thank you for sharing

  40. Kristin Sparkman says

    I could use this book myself but also for my younger sister who is in bible college and having a hard time with some of the questions they are posing. We just keep praying for her time management but also her heart and that God will just do great things even when satan is bent on messing it up. Thanks

  41. Carole says

    My daughter lasted a week a college and is now back home. She didn’t feel emotionally strong enough for the rigor of college. Despite prayer and encouragement she just couldn’t stay. Now, even though she has a backup plan, I worry she might feel like a loser for quitting and wonder what I could have done differently to prepare her. Emotions are running high and your book could realy help us.

  42. Linda Devereux says

    My daughter is leaving in 3 weeks for college. I am praying she will be strong and able to make good decisions as she goes out on her own. I would love to give the book to her as a going away present.

  43. Stephanie W says

    I know I’m probably way too late but I feel like God is calling me to read this book. I discovered “The Best Yes” while researching another book… went I opened up my Amazon account, “The Best Yes” was right there on my home page as a “suggested read” I added it to my wish list and moved on thinking I would get to the book eventually. As I got into the car only a couple hours later, Lysa was on a radio show discussing this book. Then, that night, a friend posted that she was beginning the book that evening. Also, my aunt and I had been having a conversation a week prier about my difficulty to say “no” to people… she stated that she had heard the radio show that Lysa was on and wanted to win a copy to give to me! When I read a small excerpt from the book, I related to every single word! I’m the person who gets upset when my 7 year old son takes a little long to order at restaurants (I tell him “you’re making them wait! They are going to get mad at us.” —when really, I am worrying way too much). I would LOVE to read this book and would love to share it with a dear friend of mine who would also benefit from the insight Lysa has on this topic.

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