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I wish I had read this book when I was a teenager. Well, maybe before I was a teenager, and also when I was in college. If I had, I feel confident I would have made different choices in my young life, and would have felt pulled more towards seeking God’s approval and walking in His ways instead of going along with all the social pressures teen girls endure.
The book I’m talking about is my friend Lynn Cowell’s new book called Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants. And you can bet your bottom dollar that I will have this book in the hands of my own daughters before you even finish reading this post. Why? Because it teaches young girls to move past their varying emotions, drama, hormones and especially – the desire to be accepted by everyone – girls and guys – at all costs.
Looking back, I realize a lot of my problems in young adolescence and adulthood were due to a simple lack of self control. I would cave in to peer pressure by boys and girls, and sometimes cave into my own wants, and as a result, have to suffer the consequences of doing so. Oh, how I want my own children to be strong enough to have self control over their bodies, hearts and minds and make decisions that will benefit them in the long term.
On page 10 in Magnetic, a precious girl named Terri shared her story about when the hottest guy around pressured her into having sex. She didn’t want to, but she also didn’t want to say no because he might leave, so she did. Later, she ended up feeling “empty, guilty, hurt, ashamed, embarrassed, fooled and pregnant.” So many young girls walk this hard road because they didn’t know how to find the self control and the self respect to say no.
We all struggle with these two things at times, whether we are the daughter, or the mom, and Lynn helps us see that the trick is we have to “retrain our brain…. trade impulsive “I want it now” behaviors for the captivating characteristic of self control.” And when we do that, we can redesign our lives and take a new direction, allowing God to be our guiding light instead of a broken world.
None of us moms want to admit to our daughters that we made some serious errors in judgement due to no self control when we were young, but the truth is, a lot of us did. And you know what else is the truth? We can use those experiences and the lessons we learned, and the faith that we now know is so crucial, to help our daughters understand the importance of faith in their own lives and help them avoid some of the problems, and the consequences, of not making that faith a priority.
As a mom, I’ve learned that sometimes the best way to teach my daughters a lesson is not by preaching, teaching or reprimanding, but by being transparent and sharing my own mistakes, in the hopes they will learn the easy way from what I learned the hard way. Now don’t think I’ve been an open book about everything to my girls – not sure their minds could quite handle it. But as God has led me to be transparent about certain things, I allow Him to guide my words of instruction and have been able to open up conversations and teachable moments that may not have otherwise happened.
Nothing is more important to me than for my daughters, and my precious son, to know they are valuable and loved by God, and that when they make their faith a priority, they will be stronger in their self control, and in turn, gain self respect.
I love how Lynn’s book reminds us moms of what teen girls really go through, and helps our daughters by writing in such a way that our girls can feel like they’re talking to a wise older friend, not being preached at by some author lady. And what mom doesn’t want that for her precious girl? I know I do!
I’m so excited that Lynn has given me two copies of her book to give away on my blog – yay! Below are a few of topics in this book, just so you’ll know some of the important life areas that are addressed.
– captivating characteristics that make a girl gorgeous
– love compels confident consideration of others
– making a habit of joy and pursuing peace and patience
– the importance of being kind to others and how to display kindness even when others are mean
– learning faithfulness and how to walk with God
So to enter to win, just leave a comment stating why this book would be so valuable to you and your daughter. Winners to be announced next week! (emailed comments will not qualify for the drawing)
**If you want to go ahead and purchase your copy of Magnetic, click here.
93 Comments
Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.
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I would love to share this book with my beautiful daughter who is getting ready to turn 15 soon. There are so many things I want her to know as she enters this difficult stage in her life and I want her to always be true to herself!
I would love to win a copy of the book Magnetic for my granddaughter who will be thirteen next February. She is still so very innocent and was recently baptized and enrolling in a confirmation class at our church. My husband and I take her to church, unfortunately my daughter, her mom, does not. She supports us taking her but does has not assumed the responsibility of bringing her up as a christian and sometimes does not always appear to be the best role model for a young teenage girl. I wished I had this book for her 25 years ago. Thank you.
I also felt compel to buy this book for my Granddaughter who will be Twelve this December. She is just now showing interest in boys and this would be a good time to introduce her to a Spiritual view on life as a Teenage Girl.
I thunk this book would be a great jumping off place for conversations with daughters…read and discuss it together. What a valuable tool!
For my granddaughter’s who are of the age where the message of this book would be priceless.
Stay inrofmative, San Diego, yeah boy!
I don’t want my daughter going down the path I did.
My daughter will be turning 13 in just a few months and she already thinks her life is not complete without a “boyfriend” (even though in her little mind, a boyfriend only means you see them at school and make eye contact). I’m not complaining there; I’m glad she thinks kissing is gross and doesn’t want to hold hands. What bothers me is that she thinks she’s a nobody without a boy in her life. I would love to share this book and all it’s Godly wisdom with her.
Seeing society’s general practices and attitudes makes being a parent very scary for the environment our children will grow up. God is our saving grace so I want both of my kids close to him.
Would love to win a copy of this book. I feel it would benefit my teen sunday school class. To be able to guide my teens in the right direction.
I was recently a band camp chaperone for girls in their Junior year of High School. I spent a lot of time with one girl in particular. She feels useless. She was assulted in the past and just can’t see that she has any value and sees no future for herself. She cuts. The scars on her arms and legs are horrid. She is a beautiful girl and yet she is mutilating herself to “feel” something. We spoke of God. She’s scared. I check in with her regularily and she told her parents she told me everything and that I gave her my cell number and I’m someone she’ll reach out to. They thanked me. I don’t know how I couldn’t do something. I would share this book with her.
I really need to share this book with my 18 yr old daughter. I have made bad judgment in my past and she also is starting to.
I would love to win a copy not only for my 2 girls in college but my 10 year old at home. It’s hard to have these conversations with your children when you know the mistakes you made yourself.
I am also a youth leader in our youth group at church and I think this would be a wonderful thing to share with the girls there. It’s amazing how hard it is for girls these days. What I thought was difficult when I was there age has become almost impossible for them now. There only hope is a relationship with God, and we are working hard to show them what that looks like.
Thank you!
Leslie
I would love to share this with my daughter. She is a Christian child but so often, the pressures of high school are so strong that I am afraid, it will chip away her resolve. This would reinforce the foundation that we have laid in a way that is meaningful o her. Thanks for sharing!
I need this book for MYSELF–again—-even tho I’m well past my middle yrs–I’m now single after a divorce. Also, it’s not too late for my daughter to learn these principles either.
I would love to receive this book as a gift from you and the author. My daughter is 14 years old, currently a freshman in high school, very active in sports, church and friends. I feel this book would help open my daughters vision to some of the pressures that she faces daily. Those teenage years can be bitter sweet memories with lots of regrets. My prayer is that I can help my daughter to overcome some of those pressures that I didn’t when I was a teenager. I look forward to finding out next week who the lucky winners are.
Joyce K Halbert – Missouri
I would love to read this MYSELF–as I’m newly single, and my daughter needs to read as well–while there is still time.
I have all boys but my niece is just entering the teen years. I would love to share it with her!!
My granddaughter will be 13 this summer. I believe this book would be so helpful for her. I know the poor choices I made and also her mom, and I want to help her break that cycle! Thanks for sharing about it and the opportunity to win it. That would help my budget!
Personally, I have all boys! But, this would be a great resource for the girls in our youth group.
I am a sophomore in college and I would love to read this book. I think it would be very good for me since I am always worried about getting the approval of others. Thanks for this amazing opportunity.
This book would help solidify what my daughter is already learning.
Thanks !
I’m a mother of 2 boys, so I don’t think they would even think of reading a book. But I would love to give a copy of this book to my youngest sons girlfriend. I have grown close to her and consider her part of our family. I think you would really appreciate a good book.
My daughter is just entering her teen years and as a mom who “gave in” due to peer pressure I want to equip her not to make the same mistakes I did. Thank you and blessings.
What a necessary book for young girls today!! I have three daughters, all who suffer peer pressure (and not only at school, in church youth group as well unfortunately). I would love to share this book not only with my daughters but also with all the young girls in my church! Learning and practicing self respect and how to say no when necessary is such an important lesson for all of us!!
Thank you so much Lynn for addressing such an important subject!
Here is daughter #3, and child #5 . . . I still haven’t learned to do it right. Thankful, your words today showed grace in our lives that we can do it. We can tell them about our mistakes and what our parents tried to tell us. I will keep the presence of Jesus before her to encourage her. Thanks for the reminders today.
I would love the opportunity to walk through this book with my two daughters. As I too, plan to share my mistakes of the past & my hopes for their future, having Lynn’s book as a guide & something we do together, could really help our conversations become relevant & meaningful.
My daughter is about to be 14. We have very open conversations about life. I did not have this type of relationship with my mother.I have worked very hard to build an open and honest realtionship with mine. I want my daughter to know and understand what she will be and is facing. I believe too, that it helps that she hears it from someone else besides her mother! Lysa Terkeurst had a blog recently that talked about pre-deciding. It had more to do with girls about to go off to college. I printed it out and gave it to my daugher because it is so important to start those conversations now! I want her to be secure enough and confident enough not to sacrifice her beliefs and not make some of the many mistakes that I made. I have told her some but I, like you, am not sure she could handle some of them at this point. Thank you so much for sharing this today. I ordered one copy as soon as I read this. However, I have a special friend who is battling breast cancer that has two teenage daughters that I would love to give a copy to.
Thank you for planting seeds and helping me to do so as well!
As a older mother (57) of a beautiful, intelligent, and impressionable young lady (15), I am constantly in prayer about the instruction and influence I have on my daughter and her friends. I believe that our children who profess to be Christians are living double lives. Wanting to please God, being obedient to their parents and not wanting to seem like a dud around there friends. The Bible instructs us to teach our children as we walk, talk and live life. Teens today can not believe that experiences of the old days relate to what is happening now.
I thank God For keeping me in his presence, in ear shot of his word and having a inkling of his love for me during my teen years. Didn’t stop me from making major errors in judgement, self control and bad decisions but it help me run to him even more instead of burying myself deeper in sin. Maybe, just maybe, if my daughter reads this book, she will hear as God confirms his love for her that he does guide and direct us before we have to learn by our own mistakes because somes I feel she really doesn’s believe that she can be as vulnerable as I was. Thank you for your love, guidance, support and care just you took the time and was obedient to God’s leading to write a book such as this.
I fully intend to purchase this book. If I win a copy, I have numerous friends with daughters that I’m sure will be happy to recieve a copy. If I don’t win, mine will likely be loaned out quite a bit.
I have two precious daughters that just started college this fall. I pray for them a lot, and trust God who holds them close in His Hands. This book would be a blessing and a resource to my girls as they continue to walk the fine line of being in the world, but not of the world. Thanks
I have a granddaughter that turns 16 this Sunday and I will be buying a copy as part of her gift. I’d love to win a copy to give to share with some of her girlfriends.
The world is a scary place and anything we can do to make a positive impression on teens is what we need to do.
I have two 14 year old girls who are just getting intrested in boys and want the to make right choices.
I would love to be able to give this book to my daughter because she has 4 young girls, that she is raising up to be Christian women.
This topic is weighing heavily on my heart this week. Trying to teach my daughter how she should be treated and how she should treat herself and others. I worry and pray for this young generation and hope they will make the right decisions.
I have 2 daughters, 14 and 18, and I am trying to teach them that their “yes” to God is so much more important than any yes to a boy.
I would love to win this book. I don’t want my daughter to make the same mistakes I did. Oh and I want her to know that she is valued and love by God. I didn’t learn that until much later in life.
I would love to have this book, not only to read & share with my daughter, who is 12, but to share with all of the girls in my Junior High youth group. I think this would be an amazing bible study that we could do as they are approaching & starting their teen years. I would love to remind them how important they are to God!
My 16 year old daughter and I have been having many conversations on this topic and she’s really struggling. It sounds like it would be a godsend.
Would love to have this book. I’m not a Mom but have a great niece that really needs this. She comes from a very difficult home life and has had no Godly influence other than me in her life. I live two hours from her which makes it difficult to help her as much as I would like so this book would be great for her.
Would love to share this book with my daughter, she’s 10 and just this year things are starting to change for her (happens so much faster nowadays). I appreciate your website and encouragement, just started following you! I made tons of mistakes (and still am). I pray for her not to make the same mistakes but it must be embedded in her heart first!
Thanks!
There is only so much my daughter can really “hear” from me, so a well written book is something we could read together and talk about. My daughter is 18 and has just started college locally. She is planning to go to a four-year college after this year, maybe after two years.
I would love to win a copy of this book to share with my 15 year old daughter. Such an important topic to discuss…
1.Haluaisikko asua jossaki muallua, ku te4e4lle4 misse4 asut. :)?2. Onko sulla koskaa ollu vesirokkoa :D?3. Oootko hyvisse4 ve4leisse4 kaikkien sun perheenje4senten kans.?4. Haluaisitko ruskeat hiukset? :):D5. Ootko koskaan pite4ny tekokynsie4?*6. ootko pite4ny koulussa koskaan mekkoa?7. Kuka oli sun lempapri ope yle4asteella?
I would love to share this book and its ideas with my daughter while she is still young so she can choose to be joyful and patient. I think that learning these things while she is younger will help her as she approaches the rough adolescent years.
I have three daughters. I watch one in particular struggle with self-control, just as her mom did. I believe this would be an incredible resource for continuing our conversation about self-control. Thanks for creating and giving such great books!
If I was chosen to receive this book, I would give it to my daughter so that she would have the opportunity to grow in a way I did not have when I was growing up. To help her not make the same mistakes I made and not so proud of. To help her avoid the pitfalls that the devil has for us in this world. To give her an advantage that she would receive because it is not from me. Thank you for the opportunity to enter.
This book will be valuable to my two daughters, ages 12 and 19, to teach not only them, but myself as well the importance of not being lead by your emotions, but by the Holy Spirit.
I have three daughters and each in their own right need this book. I have made a lot of mistakes and have been less than perfect example but I would love to them to have this.
My daughters are 14 and 16 year old and we are already struggling with the some of the topics that are directly addressed in this book. What a blessing to be able to give this to them!
I wish I had resources like this to guide me when I was younger but I’m very greatful it’s around for my daughter and this generation that so urgently need this message
I would love to share this book with my 16-year-old daughter. It’s hard sometimes to impart these lessons. This would be a great resource!
My daughter is 17. She could use this book!
I have been blessed with three beautiful daughters ages 12, 16, and almost 19. I agree with wanting to not preach but be transparent in LORD’s timing. One of my most difficult things done is when I recently shared my abortion story with my girls. I think this book would help me love and parent my girls to be more of the people they are created to be in Christ. I could real use the help and wisdom. Thanks for writing this book and considering us.
While my daughter is now a young adult , it’s never to late to regroup and get good guidance fed to their souls. I would love to read this, share it with her as well as share it with girls in the school I work at! I see these issues every day living out in the students I work around and breaks my heart to see how the pressures of the world, the desire to be accepted and to belong drives these girls to be other than the beautiful girls God created them to be.
My baby girl is having so much trouble knowing how to handle how to respond to people who are being so mean to her (she wears hearing aids) and I would love to put your book into her hands. We may even read it aloud together! Thank you for an opportunity to win one as my fixed income does not allow many extras such as buying books.
Why I feel that this would be a awesome book to add to my library is because there are lots of things that me and my daughter have not discussed because we clash on quite of lot of issues. We have learned over to years to talk more, but some of those wasted years have led both of us making serious mistakes. I do not want my daughter and now since I have grand-daughters as well growing up thinking less of themselves and never having a chance to gather or get the faith knowledge or teaching in their lives. I have come to know Christ and what he can do. However as is with society and the world teaching for whatever reason people tend to listen to others and in this case and accept their teaching compared to a parent/guardian that are trying to teach them the correct path. This book would be an awesome teaching tool to help point our children in the right direction in getting a good start in their life. And if you are reading the right “stuff” it will definitely help produce the right reaction.
I would love to have this book. I have 2 teenage daughters, 17 & 14. I wish I had know my value and the importance of my relationship with God when I was in high school/college. Thanks!!
I think this will be uplifting and a reminder to my daughter as she leaves for school, that she is a precious daughter of the King and to respect herself as that.
I would SO love to give this book to my granddaughters. We live 1800 miles from them and aren’t able to see them often. They are both mid-teens and need these words of encouragement and to know how precious they are in the sight of our Savior. I wish I’d been able to have it available for my daughter when she was also in her teens.
I have 3 daughters, ages 16, 13, and 8. I had a hard enough time growing up with these issues- I can’t begin to fathom what my girls will be dealing with. Todays society is so backwards and if our girls aren’t learning from us they are going to learn from the world. This sounds amazing and totally perfect to share with my girls.
I believe every young girl should have a copy of this book in their possession! I will definitely be giving it to my daughter to read. Thank you for making us aware of this wonderful book!
My girl is about to turn 13, and I am eager to saturate her with wisdom, and the truths of her precious Savior.
I would like to win this book to share with my daughter.
Oh this book sounds fantastic! I can already see that my 6 yr old girl is such a people pleaser-so impressionable and emotional. To know that you must be conscientious and have self control to make the right decision in the inevitable hard circumstances will be so valuable.
I had my first child at 17 and my second at 20, the same year I married their father, my high school sweetheart. Years later we had our other 2 daughters, who are now 12 and 13. Though my husband and I wish I could say we lived happily ever after. But life has been extremely hard and without God I don’t know what I would have done. I purchased one of Lynn’s other books (His Revolutionary Love)for my oldest daughter, which was just a blessing. I would love this book for my other daughters because I am sure it would be just as much of a blessing for them. It is hard to help my girls hold on to God and follow his path, when they are all daddy’s girls and “THINK” things worked out great for us. They don’t know of all the lonely nights, the hurt and pain of numerous affairs, financial stress because of starting a family so young and dropping out of college to do so. They love their dad and I am grateful he is there because I grew up with 2 step fathers and never knowing my birth father. Now you know the reason I chose to stay, putting my kid’s happiness before my own.
this is a book I would share with my daughter and possibly my nieces also when they are a bit older … I can use all the help I can get with the craziness of this world!
Struggling with my 14 year old beautiful daughter in getting her to realize her self worth. She is trying so hard to fit in and with a younger sister right behind her, this book would be a great bouncing board.
To be honest, it wouldn’t be a book for my daughter but my niece. I see my niece going through many of the same issues I faced as a teen and young woman. I would love her to see how the Lord values her and how precious she is. She has such a gentleness about her. She doesn’t want to rock the boat, but she has opened up here and there. I think Lynn’ book would be an answer to prayer.
My daughter, Serena, turned 19 in July. Since graduating high school she has become very unsure of where to go and what to do in life. Even though we are active in our church she is starting to make choices that I feel she may end up regretting. Her choice of friends and activities are leading her further away from God. I want the best for her, as any mother would. But sometimes it takes an outside source to open the eyes and ears of the lost. I believe this book would highly benefit my struggling community college student.
Thank you!
I would love to receive a copy Lynn’s book! I have 3 daughters of my own, as well as being involved in youth group and mentoring youth in my community. I imagine the different person I might be if I had this information as a teenager. I praise Gid because I know he can take my mess and make it a ministry! Thank you!
I would love to be able to share this with my 16-y/o daughter…the pressures in today’s society/generation are far greater than the pressures I went through as a teen. We have had numerous chats regarding self-esteem, peer pressure, sexual pressure, etc. and I am always in search of materials that back up the truth of Gods word and after reading this blog, I’m excited to read this book!! I don’t ever want her to have major regrets or to be a victim….God has called all of us to walk in freedom and victory!!
Thank you 🙂
We have 3 little girls and while boys are still a ways off (I hope!) I’d love to feel more prepared than I do. My mother never offered me any advice on growing up, etc., though I constantly begged her to—so I feel lost in how to cultivate these kinds of conversations with my own girls. Would love this book as a guide!
I would love to receive this book and be able to pass it on to my daughters. My oldest is 13 and in her first year of high school. She is already experiencing situations in which self control and strength in Gods love are going to need to prevail. It would be amazing to have this resource for her and to pass on to my other daughters who are only 7&6.
God Bless
I would love this book for my daughter. There is so much we need to teach and talk to our girls about and sometimes mine thinks all I do is teach and preach. Sometimes it gets taken better coming from another person and not just hearing it from her mom. This book would be good for her to read
I would love to have this book for me & my daughter. As a single mother of two; a 21 year old daughter & almost 18 year old son, I have seen first hand how easy it is to want to be accepted by others & even as an adult; I recently found how easy it still can be to fall into that. Praying for both of my kids to find their worth in Jesus Christ alone.
I think the topic of self-control is a topic that relates to everyone but I love the idea of helping my three daughters and my 9th and 10th grade girls Sunday School class grab hold of the concepts you have discussed. What a great head start into Christian maturity. Lynne’s book would be a great benefit to all of us.
How true. I also want to keep my girls from making my mistakes. One is at a critical threshold, the other a few years away, but now is the time. Thanks for the reminder. Would love to place this book in my daughters’ hands.
Geralyn
Tracie and Lynn, thx for this post and the opportunity to win a copy of “Magnetic”. This post comes on the heels of my college freshman niece in and out of an abusive relationship for the past two years being once again physically assaulted and ending up in the hospital. I know she needs God! And I believe this book is a great way for her to personalize God’s Word to her! Thx for the chance to win! God bless!
I would love to win a copy of this book for my daughter. She is a strong Christian young lady, but she is 16 and going away to college next year. I think this book would be great for her-and I would love to read it too!
I would love to win this book to help me navigate the tough questions/situations that are going to arise as my daughter gets older.
I have already started having having ‘what would you do if…..’ conversations with my 7 year old and to a much lesser extent, with my 4 year old girls. I would be interested to see the perspective taken to tackle these difficult topics, because I certainly don’t want my girls to make the same (or similar, even) mistakes that I did!
I am a few years off from needing a book like this, but I hope to be equipped to help my daughter make wise choices in life. My girlfriends from childhood and I have talked many times about how God blessed us with one another. We were accountability to each other, friends in many times of need, and prayer warriors for us all too. I pray that my girl would have friends and other resources available to her as she needs them too.
I would love this book to help my daughter make wise decisions as she grows up, and we plan to pass the book along to cousins and friends.
I have 2 teenage daughters, ages 17 and almost 15. My oldest will be going off to college next year and my youngest is a freshman in high school this year. My greatest desire for them is that they will hold tight to the One who loves them so much that He died to have a relationship with them. No human relationship could ever fulfill their hearts like Jesus can and I want that to be their stronghold when the pressures of the world surround them.
My daughter just started her Freshman year at college, and is struggling with roommate issues, and with finding her “niche” without joining a group of partiers. I think this book could give her some valuable insights as she makes this transition.
This book would be wonderful for me to leave on the doorstep of my neighbor, a 16 yr. teenager girl who I see walking a thin line in her choices. She desires attention by boys and has become a little “loose” with them and is giving herself a bad reputation. I’m not sure why because she is a lovely beautiful girl with wonderful loving parents. I would want her to be introduced to Jesus and perhaps it may be life changing for her.
That’s really thniikng out of the box. Thanks!
I would love to win this book for my 14 year old daughter and her good friend.
I would love to be able to read this book and then allow my almost 12 year old daughter to read it! We just this year have been able to communicate better (our personalities are opposite) and it had been a struggle…I’m and extrovert and she’s more of an introvert – so we communicate totally different. I want her to feel like she can come to me any time – and I think this book would be a great spring board for our relationship and communication! Thank you!
I am about to be the step mother to three beautiful teenage girls that have been through a very ugly childhood and teenage years with an alcoholic mother. I pray for them everyday to find Jesus and lean on Him. This book would be a great starting point to helping all three of them see what Jesus wants for them. Thank you Tracie for being there for myself and now my future daughters.
My daughter is only 5 months but I think it’s not to early to have this book. I myself made so many bad choices when I was young and I would’nt want to make the same mistakes. Thank you Tracie for having the heart to help others. God bless you more.
I want to talk to my daughter about things, she’s 13, but she is kind of shutting me out lately. I would like a tool to reach her, such as this book, if she would be open to reading it. I just want her to have more spiritual wisdom to rely on rather than me preaching to her. She’s a good girl but I can tell she is in need of some strong guidance. Thanks!