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If there is one thing guaranteed in life, it’s that life changes. Learning to manage our change, instead of letting changes push us over the edge, is one of the most important gifts we can ever give ourselves.
As I shared about in today’s Proverbs 31 devotion, the past couple years have been filled with major changes, none of which were easy, and many of which were never wanted. Just a few examples are: I reached a milestone birthday (and yes I am still in denial and will not speak of it aloud). I began working full-time after being a stay-at-home mom for 12 years and serving in ministry. My divorce became final. I became a single parent and a sole provider for me and my three children, and had to change a lot of things regarding how we lived our daily life. I turned into an empty nester as I sent my youngest off to college. The list could go on.
But one thing never changed through it all — God’s faithfulness. He has been so faithful and so good. He has given me the peace, strength, and joy and the ability to persevere on even the hardest of days. He has protected and provided in phenomenal ways and has gently ushered me into new seasons of change. He has never left my side, even though at times I felt so far away. He has held my hand and helped me learn to accept the changes I’ve experienced by learning to fully depend on and put all my trust in Him. God is a faithful God.
Nobody likes change, but it’s inevitable to happen. But change does not mean God has overlooked, forgotten or abandoned us – it simply means life is happening. So today I wanted to share my three top tips for changing the way you can view and manage change in your life. If you’re going through a difficult season of change, I hope these tips will help you change the way you’re looking at the change in your life.
- Don’t long for what was, but find joy in what is. When we spend all our time and energy wishing things were different or longing to go back to what we viewed as normal, it becomes impossible to feel joy in our new normal. Since we can’t turn back time and at times have no control over the changes in our lives, it’s so important to focus on the good in each day and look positively toward the future instead. Living with joy is a choice, not a by product of life being perfect or unchanged. Each day, ask God to help you be happy with the new and embrace the season of life He has you in right now.
- Control your thoughts, so they don’t control you. Tens of thousands of thoughts run through our minds every single day. As I teach about in my book Unsinkable Faith, our thoughts have power over our lives. Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings which leads to a negative outlook and attitude on life, especially when changes are going on. Purposely positive thoughts lead to positive feelings and a more positive view of life, no matter what life looks like. Controlling our thoughts and taking them captive to Christ is possible. It’s all about willpower … if we have the will, God has the power, as we’re told in Romans 12:2.
- Commit to being happy despite the changes you’re enduring and trust God always has a plan. Even good changes in our lives can bring on challenges, and changes that are difficult make it that much harder to stay positive and happy. Being happy is an intentional choice. We either choose to be, or we choose not to be. Jesus died to save us from our sin, but also so we could enjoy abundant life. In the midst of hard or especially painful changes, enjoying life can seem a thing of the past, but every step we take is part of God’s plan for our life which He is divinely orchestrating. Trusting Him and His plans for our life prevents us from worry and frees up our hearts to feel happy.
Today I’m giving away a copy of my book Unsinkable Faith: God-filled Strategies to Transform the Way You Think, Feel and Live!
To enter to win, share in the comment section a change or new season of life you’re going through right now and which of the above 3 tips you will implement starting today to begin bringing about positive change in your heart and mind. (email replies do not qualify for giveaway entry).
My new book Love Life Again: Finding Joy When Life Is Hard, releases August 1st! Make sure you’re subscribed to my blog so you’ll be the first to learn about all the pre-order freebies available!
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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.
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God definitely needed me to read this today. I am in new seasons of life. My marriage of 19 years ended June of last year and some days I struggle. But I’m realizing after reading this how faithful God has been through it all. So much of what you listed has happened to me. Family loving on me and making me feel needed. Friendships growing and new life long friendships formed. Ministry opportunities that I never thought I’d be involved in. God protecting me and my children. Thank you for the reminder that God is faithful even when we are having our hard days and that he never leaves and walks right beside us and that yes he has something planned far better than our minds can ever imagine. I really need to implement #1 because I easily find myself thinking of what was which gets me stuck. What was was not what God wanted for my life or my childrens’ lives and I need to find joy in the present. God has changed me so much and I need to continue on walking this new season with him joyfully.
Sweet Jesus is always there. We are walking the same path as the Lord holds us in his arms. Thanking Him for His faithfulness for 46 years of marriage. Now on to a renewed life watching Him set my feet on His path. Widowed 2 years, changed location from West coast to East coast for new opportunities with my third son. Life is grand as it unfolds before me.
Its such a blessing when we can start looking at God’s goodness and not life’s disappointments, so Im so glad you read the devotion today! And you are right, sometimes what was was not God’s best for us and when we realize that and accept it, His hope and peace and joy can start returning. Praying God fills your life with joy!
It is hard to not long for what had been. Life is hard right now. I love my family but teaching my daughter (who we adopted at 15 years old from Ukraine) how a mom is supposed to be when she didn’t have a good example in her life when she was young is difficult. She doesn’t always want to listen and I have to show by example a lot. But I love my 11 months old granddaughter who lives in our home with her mother. I love getting to spend most days with my granddaughter. Not what we had planned especially with trying to get three out of our four kids to finish college which has placed added financial burdens on us as we paid for our daughter’s divorce and custody battle. I try to start out each day positively but it is hard especially when I pick up most of the slack in things that need to be done around the house and for the baby.
Just keep persevering Christina and asking God to fill your home with joy and peace, and your heart, even when stress threatens. Be confident in the awesome mom you are being and know that all seasons come to an end at some point. Praying for God’s peace in your home and joy in your heart on all days!
I thank God that this life is temporary. Heaven is closer and waiting for our beloved Savior makes things a little easier when we know our time is very short on this earth….especially to those who are having a very hard time with their new changes. Yes…life does not seem fair but God will make everything beautiful in His time..!!
My transition that I am adapting to is retirement – thankful for the blessing of being able to retire. Convicted at my lack of joy and purpose after reading your devotional this morning.
Change? I buried my father last week; I am now an orphan. My siblings have shunned me for years because they refuse to address emotional abuse within the family; I now have boundaries and am safer, but it’s still lonely and I have trouble trusting anyone. A major birthday is weeks away. I am likely facing retirement — more being done to me, than by my decision, albeit I am worn out emotionally and physically.
Thank you for articulating so perfectly the disjointed thoughts roaming in my mind, trying to formulate a game plan for going forward. I hope it’s okay that I printed the article (complete with author’s name and date) so I can carry it with me as a reminder.
I’m so sorry for your loss Abigail. Never forget you are God’s beloved daughter, none of us are orphans. I will keep you in my prayers for God to bring miraculous restoration and healing to the relationships in your family if that is His best for you, and that He will fill your life with new relationships and help you be able to learn to trust people again and that He will stand firm beside you as you face all this new stuff in life. Praying for God to give you direction, guidance and peace in whatever decisions you make. Of course it’s okay to print it. 🙂
This was a much needed encouragement for me to read today. Unfortunately I can relate to your story in many ways- my 21 year marriage has ended, the divorce will be finalized in two weeks, I’m single parenting two teens and a tween, and I have gone back to work full time since being out for 13 years. I struggle with heartache, fear, and anger, yet despite my circumstances I know more about God’s faithfulness and His character now since I have walked down this hard road. He is so faithful and has provided in ways I never expected- most recently in providing the money for the closing cost of a house He has provided. I will declare His faithfulness and make Him known through this situation.
What I struggle with the most is controlling my thoughts. I’m looking forward to reading your book and learning how you do it. When those rare quiet moments come, thoughts just start pouring in my head and I know they are not from God. I am working through deep grief, but I’m so thankful I am not alone. None of us are. We serve a great God.
Im so glad you are hanging tight to God during this hard time. Deep grief is unexplainable to others and so hard. Praying God helps you control every thought and that you’ll learn to recognize them as untruths and joy stealing and not let them remain in your mind, while replacing them something with more true or positive each and every time. Practice doesnt make perfect, but it certainly helps us transform our thought patterns! Praying you continue to see God’s faithfulness and feel Him near.
I really need to work on putting all three tips into action. My most difficult changes/season I’m currently going through would be having my mom, dad, & older brother live w/ my husband, myself, & our two daughters and struggling with changes in my mental & physical capabilities & uncontrolled/unmanaged A.D.D. complications.
Courtney, that is a heavy load to bear. Praying for you and all of the things you mentioned above. May God bring peace and healing in many ways.
Enduring a season of change. A twenty year marriage ending, and adjusting to a new life filled with ups and downs, and all the emotions it involves. Trying to stay strong, and realizing God is in control, and to realize – it is not falling apart – it is falling into place- for what can be an amazing future if I choose everyday to follow him. Knowing I have to work on my thoughts for my own sake and for my family, and knowing God’s plan is the most amazing one of all- far better than what I could come up with.
“it is not falling apart – it is falling into place” – love this! Such an inspiring message for everyone here. Thank you for sharing, and praying for you Karen!
#3 I am going to be using as I wait for a job while living with friends.
I feel the same as many of the others here, a 23 year year marriage ending – with no hint in sight – even in hind sight. Being an empty nester, with all of my sons living out of town – 2 in the military and 1 with the department of defense. I struggle with wishing things were the way they were. With my marriage ending, and my husband moving out, I miss my friend, I miss the physical relationship and the emotional support, but most of all I miss the future we had planned together. I struggle with the quiet times, I struggle with my thoughts and I struggle with moving on, alone. I have always had what I thought was a strong relationship with God, and now I don’t trust any of my thoughts. I can’t “hear” or “feel” God and am confused as to what direction to take.
I would like to say I am going to focus on relying on God for my next steps, but I don’t know how right now. I would like to say that I forgive and will pray for my husband and his mistress, but I don’t know how to let go of the hurt and anger. I would like to say that I will change my thoughts, I recognize them, and they just snowball. I feel like I’m stuck in a terrible place and I don’t know how to get out.
Please just determine in your heart to look to God for the answers and seek Him despite how you feel. Please commit to trusting His plans to prosper you and not to harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). Im in a very similar boat, and the pain is real, unrelenting, and devastating. I can promise you from experience that if you look to God in faith, He will comfort you. It might not be instantaneous, it definitely won’t take he pain away, but He will walk through the pain with you and get you safely to the other side…I promise from my own experience and from His Word that He is faithful, he will never leave you, He is always good, even when others aren’t . Cling to Him tightly despite your feelings…He will definitely carry you through and you will be able to look back and praise Him for his work in you!
I can relate so much to how you are feeling. A month from now will be my one year anniversary of my 24 marriage coming to an end. I too understand how the future you had planned for over half of your life, is now not reality. Having to plan a new future is scary, but as long as we have God to walk hand in hand with us as we make this journey, we will be fine. I have had wonderful friends and family by my side this last year, but none can compare to the friend I have had in Jesus! Hold on to him tight and don’t let go for He is right there with you through all those feelings!
Tiffany – not sure how long it’s been since your husband left, but I promise you, I understand all you said and things will get better over time. It’s totally normal to feel devastated and confused and alone. It’s totally normal to miss all the things you mentioned. It’s totally normal to feel brokenhearted and afraid when the future you always envisioned suddenly is shattered. Even when God feels far away, keep leaning close into Him and praying and staying in His Word. He can heal what we think is unmendable. My heart goes out to you, and I pray God helps you feel, see and hear His Presence in the coming months, and that you can find hope in knowing that He has a plan and purpose for you and your life. Pray for peace that surpasses understanding… it will come. Remember that even when other people abandon us, God never does. Try not to let your thoughts wander to negative or hurtful places but when they do, just try to immediately avert them to something more positive. Not easy, but doable and it helps so much. Give yourself time before feeling obligated to forgive. Broken hearts have to heal before they can forgive those who broke it and thats okay. Hugs to you.
We are in the process of moving. It is the 3rd time in seven years. Each time is seems it just gets worse. None of the times have been by choice. We moved in with my husband’s parents to take care of them and we lost my husband’s homeplace after his parents passed and could not keep up with the payments. We moved into a smaller home and have to leave it recently because the landlord’s family need the home. As hard as it has been I keep trying to remember that God is in control and I still have my family and health.
Great point Melissa. We can either focus on our burdens or focus on our blessings, and the choice we make will determine how we feel and think. But moving 3 times is so hard. Praying God helps you find a place to land where you can settle in and stay for a long time and feel secure and happy.
After 25 years of marriage, my husband and I are beginning the process of separating. Today I called a lawyer to begin that process. I find that I need to control my thoughts better, because right now they are controlling me
Beth, I so understand. Praying for God’s strength, peace and affirmation to fill you. Praying for Him to help you feel confident in your decision and lead you to the best person to help you. Remember you are loved by God and He will never leave your side.
These lessons are essential! After 20 years of marriage, I was again single. During that time, took more years that I care to admit to break the pattern of criticizing myself for weaknesses in how the relationship developed. Much of the struggle centered on how my children were affected.
Now as a single parent of adult children, I work to offload the emotions that I feel for my adult children onto God’s shoiukders. Although in many ways I am happier now, seeing their struggles bc of the divorce of their parents is a heavy load.
Our children are always on our hearts. Being cheerful when they are hurting feels almost wrong. I have to remind myself that it is good for them, too, when I am happy. I’ll be implementing #3.
Thank you for sharing your story and your words of faith and encouragement. I recently resigned from my twenty-plus year career to take care of my grandchildren. While I am blessed daily with their sweetness, it’s been a difficult challenge mentally, that I want anticipating. I definitely feel that “controlling my thoughts so they don’t control me” helps me stay out of the depression funk that can envelope me. I literally have to tell myself to stop and talk to our Father about my thoughts. Prayers for you and your readers. God is good. He is faithful. He is good at being God.
Rebecca, bless you because that is a huge adjustment! Those babies are lucky to have you I’m sure and so is their mom. Transitions take time to get used to but I pray God brings you great joy and blessing in his new phase of life.
This message was sent directly to me. I am pulling so I am about to pop. I need all three. I didn’t have no idea where to start trying to move on. I am going to pray and mediate on this message.
My husband left our marriage last October and has moved on with another woman who he claims is carrying his child. Let me say, YES, GOD IS SO VERY FAITHFUL!!!! At first, it was very difficult and I still struggle some moments, especially when it comes to the pain my children have endured through this. BUT, GOD has carried us right through and I remind my children frequently that GOD is going to turn all of this around for our good!!! Today, I will really start trying to control my thoughts and I intend to remind myself of Rom. 12:2 to help me with this! For anyone reading this who feels like giving up on God, I can tell you from experience, if you just take whatever step you can in faith toward our Father..even if it’s just one more step (and there is always at least one more step) God WILL pull you out of whatever you are in and give you a firm place to stand! As Lauren Daigle sings in O Lord, we must stand our ground where hope is found. IN JESUS..God bless you all!
So true! I have nearly the same circumstances and experiences…God’s faithfulness became a treasure To me!
Amen! 🙂
6 weeks ago I broke my foot. This has been a very big thing in my life. And not one I’ve wanted. It was a bad break, which meant surgery and at least a couple of months of no weight bearing. This is VERY much a rare thing for me as I exercise with a trainer at least 5 days a week. So this was so challenging today as I am in a place of change. And even when I get the ‘go ahead’ to resume most normal workout activity, it will be a much slower process than I have ever experienced. So I choose to FIND JOY IN THE WHAT IS …. not what isn’t. Or what WAS. It’s a daily battle for sure , but God’s word gives me the strength to do just that. ‘Destroy speculations and every lofty thing that raises itself up against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ’. 2 Corinthians 10:5
Praying for perfect and timely healing of your foot Angie!
Dealing with the loss of my husband to suicide just a month ago, and struggling to get through every breath of every day.
Laurie
My heart hurts for the turmoil you are in. I don’t know what to say in a situation like this… I am lifting you up to the Lord and wanted you to know that.
I’m so sorry Laurie. :'( There really are no words except that God sees what you’re going through, He loves you and He will never leave you. Praying for Him to draw you near and help you get through this horrific experience, while surrounding you with friends and family who can support you while you grieve. Hugs.
Laurie
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in prayer for God to give you His grace to see you through this heartbreaking trial and for Gods peace. God will see you through one breath at a time. Cling to Jesus’ feet.
I am approaching the one year marker of my husband’s death in less than 2 weeks, we had been married 16 years. He was a pastor at our church for almost 16 years as well. I have a 19 year old and 11 year old girls left to provide for now. I will be moving to AR in 5 weeks to be near my immediate family to help me on this new journey. I struggle with all 3 steps but will work today on my thoughts and quoting scripture when bad thoughts come my way. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and encouraging others. God bless you.
I am at a point of change in my life where I really don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring and if I can really go on. Right now my marriage and family life are falling apart faster and more destructively than I can handle. My husband has had a kind of attack in depression since January 2nd and has recently been able to come out of it since last month but is still quite moody and irritable from time to time. In the last two weeks he has been overly irritable and taking out his frustration on me by shutting me out and treating me like I don’t even exist. My daughter too is going through a kind of juvenile depression. Gets violent, mood swings and behaviour shifts. But in truth she is just a very hurt and confused little girl who has been through too much of emotional truma in her young life due to problems I had after she was born and that has affected her very badly. Our family is working around her in whatever way we can. It’s been tough. I feel like a punching bag that can’t take this mental madness anymore. I’m at the end of myself. I feel like I’m her enemy now. I feel like I’m everyone’s enemy and nobody wants to even be civil with me. I’m also praying about a job change and trusting Jesus to come through in the way only he can. All these things put together are taking a toll on my mental state. For the last four months now I’ve been living alone in our apartment while my husband and daughter have been living in his parents house accross the street. This has and still is a warfare over my little family and I have been fighting the enemy clinging to Jesus and with the support of one or two very trusted friends. Today too was very difficult but now I’m back home alone again. I just don’t know how much longer I can go on this way. The mental pressure is just too much.
Thankyou for sharing these 3 points. Very helpful and practical. I’m also reading your book ‘Your Life Still Counts’ which is very encouraging for my present state of life.
My 23 year old son is in the midst of a health crisis and was just discharged from a 2 week stay in the hospital, some in ICU. He is weak, short of breath, on oxygen, using a walker, can and wheelchair and has propelled me back to being a SAHM to take care of him (God provided a flexible job where I was able to immediately take a leave). As my son, my husband and I adjust to our new normal we can see God’s fingerprints all over and I KNOW good will come of this.
Thank you for sharing. God is good and we must focus on what his wonderful plans are for us. I was married for 33 years and got divorced 3 years ago. Yes it has gotten easier????. The divorce word still gives me stomach pains thinking and being over confident that it could never happen to me, and I also figured we had made it that far who would what to start over right? Definitely not my choice. I was already an empty nester so it was very lonely. God is good he has provided and has taken care of my beyond what I thought possible. Thank you for the reminders of focusing our eyes on God and his blessings even when things don’t look good. God Bless you for sharing and not being afraid to say things are hard. ❤️
Our 1st born daughter got married a month ago. And there is somewhat of a void, although I hear from every day. And it’s hard to phantom her having her very own family one day! And it’s a change, but we are well pleased with our new son-in-law, and feel they will be good for each other. I plan to just love them, and be with them as much as we can, and I will pray for them, and ask the Lord to help me through this adjustment of being a mother in law!!
My marriage ended after 15 years. I was a single parent with 6 children for 17 years before I remarried. Then my husband committed suicide with no signs at all. I then remarried 2 years later and after being married for a year he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He passed away 2 years ago but God has been good. He was with me through every trial and I know without a showdow of a doubt he will continue to carry me through.
Blessings!
Oh my goodness Dawn, Im so sorry for all you’ve been through. I can’t imagine what a walking testament of faith and a powerful inspiration to everyone you meet. Praying you continue to feel God’s closeness.
I recently had to leave my career in Special education due to physical disabilities and ongoing surgeries to correct the damage I’ve done to my body through the years. I miss feeling useful. I could say I touched someone’s life daily in my career. Struggling with what path to take that glorifies God and is His Plan!! But I am committing to find JOY everyday and look for ways in daily life to give love and respect to another child of God’s to enhance their daily walk and hopefully they see Christ at work in their lives!! Not as difficult change as my divorce, but definitely a struggle to find your identity again without your career. Thank you Tracie for being God’s messenger!
Thank you for these encouraging words. I have experienced a similar situation this past year in dealing with a divorce of my husband of 21 years. Although this was not my choice, God has blessed me and my children during this difficult time. It is through devotionals such as these that I’m reminded and encouraged about God’s faithfulness. I especially like the reminder that it is our choice to be happy. Today and everyday I want to “Choose Joy.”
I struggle with all three steps,( esp. #2) and look forward to reading your devotions daily. I shouldn’t complain, I am retired and my husband and I are both in good health albeit the aches and pains of an aging. I so liked the reminder of just needing the will as God has the power.
Wow. I am so inspired reading all of these entries. It makes me realize that none of us are truly alone. Unfortunately I also am going through a divorce after 21 yrs of marriage. Turns out my husband has had a mistress for 3+ yrs. We have two teenage daughters and have been living under the same roof until our house sells which may take another 3 months. I had no hint that anything was wrong and everyone who knows us is completely shocked at his actions. He has a reputation as one of the nice guys. I’m doing so much better due to faith, family and friends and my daughters but it’s easy to get pulled back into the sadness, why me? and of course fear of change. I really need to work on all 3 of these.
I struggle with all three steps,( esp. #2) and look forward to reading your devotions daily. I shouldn’t complain, I am retired and my husband and I are both in good health albeit the aches and pains of an aging. I so liked the reminder of just needing the will as God has the power.
I have struggled with anxiety/depression most of my adult life. I am grateful for medication and the insurance to cover the costs. My husband went into business with “friends” six years ago. We ended up losing our retirement money trying to keep a business that was built on lies from “friends.” My husband used our paid off house as collateral for the business loan. We ended up filing for bankruptcy a year ago. We have to repurchase our house for far more than it is worth. I have been hospitalized five times in the last 18 months due my anxiety/depression. Never pictured myself in this situation. Angry at husband for letting this happen to our family of four. Angry at “friends” for betraying us. Fifty-two years old and terrified of our financial future, state of my marriage, and power of my anxiety/depression. I know I need to let go of my dashed dreams of the future. Gain control of my negative thinking. Lastly, trust that God has not forgotten our family.
Nancy, He has not forgotten you or your family, but I know what it feels like to feel that way. Im praying God helps you find peace in your heart and mind and manage all the valid emotions are feeling rather than letting them control your joy and happiness. You have had a hard load to carry, but God will be with you and He is capable of restoring all that’s been lost and broken. Praying for your family!
I lost my husband over a year ago, we were married 43 years..this second year has really been harder…I am definitely going to quit living in the pass and stop letting thoughts bad or dwelling on what could have been take over my mind….each morning I will ask God to help me through the day and thank Him at night for my day. Losing the love of your life is a healing process that that only God can do. Please pray for me.
Lord, please fill Cynthia’s heart with an overwhelming sense of your Presence and your love. Help her see the blessings you bring into her life and fill her life with wonderful things. Nothing can replace her husband, but You are capable of filling the void in her heart. Help her heart heal as she intentionally tries to be positive and optimistic about the future even though it’s different than she imagined. Amen.
My situation is a lot like yours as well. My divorce was final just after Christmas and I am the single parent of 3 girls, two of which are graduating college in a few weeks and preparing for graduate school, the other is a junior in high school. Through this unwanted change I have felt God closer than I have ever felt him before. I know that God doesn’t make these things happen but I have faith He will use them to help us change and grow. I guess my biggest struggle remains controlling my thoughts, although it has gotten so much better than when this all began. Our God IS Faithful, always.
Don’t long for what was enjoy what is. I like this, to be truthful all of these I need to apply to my life. Going on 3 years ago my husband and I separated. He was and is having an affair with a married woman. I have been holding on hoping and praying God would fix this. I miss what we were, but I have come to realize my husband doesn’t want to change. I have to put on my big girl pants and move forward.
Lisa, such a hard situation. Im sorry. We can’t change other people and that can be so frustrating, but we can change our own hearts and minds. God certainly can restore any relationship, but it does take two willing hearts for sure. Praying for God to work in your situation as He sees fit, and believing in that miracle for you, but if things don’t change, I pray that you will be able to move forward with confidence in yourself and faith in God that He has a wonderful life ahead for you no matter what.
I was involved in a major car crash last week – one of those chain reaction types – and I was at the end of the chain reaction which caused all of my passenger side airbags to deploy. Thankfully the only injuries I have are whiplash and a tender back. We are waiting to hear back from the insurance company as to whether the vehicle will be totaled. I am thankful that my 11 year old daughter was not in the vehicle with me. I am going to try to focus on #3: commit to being happy despite the changes you’re enduring and trust God always has a plan.
Glad you didnt get seriously injured Marcia and that your daughter wasnt with you! That is certainly a blessing and a positive to focus on in the midst of a challenging situation. Dealing with insurance companies is no fun. Praying it all gets worked out quickly and for the best and that you heal quickly.
Tracie – Bless you for the deep application of God’s Word to life changes/circumstance – so richly reminded to ‘not be anxious for tomorrow,’ to recognize that God is all about doing a ‘new thing’ in each of our lives, to ‘take captive every thought,’ and reminded that He uses the changes/circumstances ‘for the good.’ Im reminded that our ‘thoughts are not His thoughts’ and bring the longings to Him as we ‘Let’ Him provide trust-peace-hope may we each ‘take hold’ and ‘hold fast’ to Jesus.
Tracie, thank you for your wisdom and encouraging words. I am so sorry you have endured this trial, but you certainly have been transparent with how your faith has strengthened through it all. All 3 tips are so imperative and so what I needed to read today, so thank you. I would have to say 3 resonates with me the most right now. I am at the very starting point of my family going through a similar seismic shift and I am often paralyzed by fear of the future and drowning in negative thoughts. I am going to intentionally choice to be happy and endure the changes, not in my own strength, but in God’s. Trust is the word I chose for this year ahead and it takes choosing it every single day. My 3rd is finishing up senior year and I will chose to be happy in these many “lasts” with her and trust God to provide for us and that His plan for me is good and I am never alone. Thank you to you and everyone at P31! I am so grateful.
This post really spoke to my heart. Lately I’ve been focusing on the past and longing for things to “be the way they used to be”. Seeing my mom at the latter stages of dementia is very difficult and sad, and I’ve been dwelling on what we’ve lost. I know I need to fully cherish each and every moment I have with her.
Seeing (and feeling!) myself aging sure is no fun, and looking thru old photos of how I used to look sure is depressing! I know that might sound terribly vain. I will be praying that the Lord reminds me to find joy in each day, in the little things, and not dwell on what once was.
Donna, it doesnt sound vain at all – it sounds normal! So sorry about your mom’s illness, that is so so hard. And nobody loves aging. Try to focus on all the beautiful things about you, inside and out, and I pray God brings joy and peace into all areas of your life and live each day to the fullest.
Just joined this blog. Hopefully will impact my life, my thoughts, my spiritual growth. Would love to be entered in this drawing to receive a book. Blessings.
I am currently going through an unwanted divorce that is ending my 20 year marriage. Some days are good, some days are bad. You are right though….it’s all in the thoughts and perspective we choose that day. Control your thoughts to they don’t control you….that is what I need to work on. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement!
I have always lived near my family. Was at every birth, birthday party, holiday gathering, etc. I have had the same job for 25 years. My first husband died 5 years ago and I remarried 2 years ago. My new husband sold his home in another state to move to Florida. I never had children but he has 2, 11 hours away. We now have a 2 year old grandson and he is the highlight of our lives. My husband now wants to move to be closer to our grandson. I have prayed and asked God to help me embrace all these changes that will take place this year. #1 is the one thst stood out to me the most. I will have to find the joy in my new home, new job, new state. Your devotion came at just the right time…thank you for following Gods guidence in your life.
Wow was this post needed to remind me of the truths in Tracie’s words today. Joy is a choice not a byproduct of life. That just woke me up. Thoughts .must be controlled how often I let them control me. The Holy Spirit has spoken through you to me. I will contemplate and put into practice these words of wisdom. Thank you!
As I read all these comments I am weeping. So much suffering in this world. We women are not alone. Most days I feel alone in our struggles… but after reading here … everyone’s raw honesty, I feel that this is just life this side of heaven. I want to implement 2 more… and not let my negative thoughts continue or control me. Been married for 33 years and my husband just doesn’t hold a job. I feel such anger within and so insecure. We have no money saved for the future and he is turning 61 and it’s hard finding a job. I need to trust HE will provide and get us through another trial such as this. Thank you, Tracie, for your timely post. Girls… I’ll be praying for all of you today.
My heart is breaking hearing all of the stories of broken marriages and families. My husband of 16 years left us 2 years ago for a woman (15 years younger) he was having an affair with and now they are getting married. I had to go back to work full-time after being at home for 14 years, sell our dream home we built and move to a new home, change churches, loose communication with the majority of his family (I do not live near any of my family) and now my 3 teenagers are in the throws of wedding planning with their dad. I know the relentless soul anguish well. The nightmares, negative thoughts, upset stomach, anger. I do think time will help, but leaning and pressing in to the Word and prayer has been the only peace I can hold. I think all 3 of these tips are fantastic, but I choose to focus on #3- Commit to being happy despite the changes you’re enduring and trust God always has a plan. When I look back over the past few years God has been so very faithful to our family. He HAS provided me with a job and a way to support my children, He HAS given us a beautiful home were we have more than enough, He HAS expanded my ministry through teaching Divorce Care classes and Single and Parenting classes, He HAS allowed me to gather idea for writing a book and speaking (which a life-long dream of mine), He HAS given me new friends who have become my new eclectic family and who love and encourage me. Wow!! We are so very blessed! His plan for my life and for my children’s lives is a perfect plan, designed to bless us and allow us to be happy. I trust in His ways and will commit to being happy once again! Praise God!
Thanks Tracie so much for these simple but wise tips for navigating change. I am one who has definitely struggled to accept the changes in my life, sometimes longing for the familiar and known over trusting God with all the uncertainties and painful changes. But I do know that God has the best plan for our lives even when it differs significantly from the story we would have written ourselves. In the last two years I have gone through divorce as well after a 32 year marriage, ending my dream of growing old with my spouse in these empty nest years and leaving a legacy to my 3 daughters of a godly, faithful marriage. Immediately after my divorce, I stepped into a caregiving and decision-making role for my dad – managing healthcare and financial decisions until he passed away this last fall. Now I am caring for my mom, working part time and going back-and-forth between two states regularly… I am struggling with physical and emotional exhaustion and am needing to set some boundaries and make some changes probably for my own health and well-being. But in all of this, God truly has been faithful. And I have had some amazing support.
What I need to most work on is controlling my thoughts and taking those negative thoughts captive on a daily basis. Those negative thoughts take us into a downward spiral in a hurry and do nothing good for our trust and faith in the God who loves us deeply. Negative thoughts cause us to be self focused, not God focused, and they leave us with all kinds of negative, crippling emotions. So that is my challenge… To keep replacing negative thoughts that come into my brain with truth from God‘s word about who I am, who I belong to, that I am His Beloved, And He is trustworthy And will be faithful to me, even when life is difficult and painful. So we can choose joy because we have the privilege of knowing the creator of the universe, and the One who holds us in the palm of his hands always. He reminds me that this world is not my home… I was made for something more and He is preparing us for that day.
I am really looking forward to your new book that will come out in August!
I am at a point of change in my life where I really don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring and if I can really go on. Right now my marriage and family life are falling apart faster and more destructively than I can handle. My husband has had a kind of attack in depression since January 2nd and has recently been able to come out of it since last month but is still quite moody and irritable from time to time. In the last two weeks he has been overly irritable and taking out his frustration on me by shutting me out and treating me like I don’t even exist. My daughter too is going through a kind of juvenile depression. Gets violent, mood swings and behaviour shifts. But in truth she is just a very hurt and confused little girl who has been through too much of emotional truma in her young life due to problems I had after she was born and that has affected her very badly. Our family is working around her in whatever way we can. It’s been tough. I feel like a punching bag that can’t take this mental madness anymore. I’m at the end of myself. I feel like I’m her enemy now. I feel like I’m everyone’s enemy and nobody wants to even be civil with me. I’m also praying about a job change and trusting Jesus to come through in the way only he can. All these things put together are taking a toll on my mental state. For the last four months now I’ve been living alone in our apartment while my husband and daughter have been living in his parents house accross the street. This has and still is a warfare over my little family and I have been fighting the enemy clinging to Jesus and with the support of one or two very trusted friends. Today too was very difficult but now I’m back home alone again. I just don’t know how much longer I can go on this way. The mental pressure is just too much.
Thankyou for sharing these 3 points. Very helpful and practical. I’m also reading your book ‘Your Life Still Counts’ which is very encouraging for my present state of life.
P.S. This was not a reply to the comment this was posted under.
Hi Judy- Im so sorry for all you’re going through. Im sending you a private message via email with some information that might be helpful. Praying for you, your family and all the situations you’re dealing with.
I am actually also going through a divorce after 26 years of marriage, and just sent my youngest daughter to college. Feeling overwhelmed by th financial burden of it all. I will definitely be working on my thoughts and trying to stay focused on God’s faithfulness
I totally understand that feeling Natalie! I’ve had two in college the past two years and its hard to manage the financial aspects of it all. But God has been faithful and things always work out somehow, even down to the final minute at times (which is stressful, but He still came through!) Praying things get better and that all things will work out perfect with God’s provision!
I would say controlling my thoughts so they don’t control me. I lefted an abusive marriage after 28 years and started over again with nothing more than I could take. It is difficult seeing him move on with someone else and succeeding but I know it was the right choice. This last year my only child got married and moved across the country to start a new live. It is lonely for me and I’m wondering if God will let me find true love since I’ve never really experienced before.
Laurie, please know Im praying for you. I understand your longing and so does God. Give your heart time to heal and trust God has a beautiful plan in place for you.
The change I am currently going through is waiting for god to make his will crystal clear for the good job god wills for me alone at his perfect time for me also to fulfill very serious life saving promises in me and my elderly fathers life. The tip I will implement is Commit to being happy despite the changes you are enduring and trust god always has a plan.
I am presently separated from my husband after 25 years of marriage. this has been a struggle, but I know that through Gods faithfulness I will get through this.
It has brought me closer to God through spending time daily in His word. I have found a lot of comfort through this. I have also claimed |Exodus 33:14 as my verse to give me some rest and peace through this. His word is very comforting.
Financial challenges are also in the midst, but God has been gracious in providing.
I had to go on Permanent disability with M.S. last year so funds are tight. I am working on keeping my thoughts positive and am trying to look forward to what He has in store for me in the future. thank you for this Ministry, it has been a blessing.
Thanks for sharing all you do!
I’m 23 and in the last 5 months, my husband of almost 2 years has been on deployment and decided that he is unhappy and does not believe in God anymore, and that he does not want to be married to me anymore because he does not think he is good for me. At first, I kept asking God, why…why would He put us together for it to end like this? However, I believe God has the final say in this situation, and he comes home for the first time in 5 months next week. I have poured my heart out for God to change my husband’s mind and to open his eyes to see how greatly he is loved by our Father and that leaving our marriage is not the answer. God has brought me through thoughts of suicide, depression, anxiety, and even being tempted by the enemy that is working so hard to get me off course from praying for my husband and for our marriage to be redeemed. I don’t know what the future holds, but God is holding me, and it is because of this that I do not have to fear change. So I will be sticking by #3: Commit to being happy despite the changes you’re enduring and trust God always has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 is my life-verse through this, among several others. Not knowing what God’s plan is has made me so anxious and fearful, but I’ve learned that my faith grows not in knowing all the little details, but it grows by trusting Him in the uncertainty and in the darkness.
Savannah, any type of distance or separation is so hard on a marriage, especially deployment. I am praying for God to soften your husbands heart and that his return will be a time of restoration. Also praying God takes away your fear and anxiety and continues to help you feel strong and confident in you and in Him.
Good reminder of the ever changing things we go through in life. I would say number 2. Control your thoughts so they don’t control you. My thoughts wander to things that could happen even though nothing is happening at the moment. dealing with three grown children and the drama of two of them at the moment. depression in one, just on meds and the other making another bad choice of a new relationship, fearing this one will be disastrous as the first. Also, marriage issues and feeling unloved by him at the moment. Insecurity is rearing it’s ugly head. Not really sure how to talk to him about anything without him getting mad at me. God help me deal with all of this.
As I prepare to have a new boss (mine is retiring) committing to be happy and trust God is my goal.
Hello, Yes #1 certainly is very challenging for me. I’ve gone thru a divorce after 25 yrs of marriage. I was a stay at home Mom of 3 for 16 yrs. My kids are young adults 21, 22 & 25 and they are finishing up college. I moved from Chicago to AZ to start over but struggle everyday with being away from my children. I do have family out here so I thought it would be easier to transition here. All I can think of was the life “I used to have” as I love my large extended family thru my husband and I loved the life we built…..unfortunately, it crumbled…..and I feel like I’ll never be whole again. My biggest challenge is financials….I’m struggling to get a job where I feel like I can support myself and live comfortably again. AZ was much less expensive that’s part of the reason I thought I’d take that leap of Faith. I know deep down, I need to be where my kids are but stay fearful of how I can make it work? I do pray everyday and I try so hard to give my fears to the Lord but somehow I still live in fear, anxiety and sadness of what I lost.
Dawn, I have walked in your shoes. Job hunting is hard and even harder on our self esteem. But trust God has the perfect job for you and in His timing He will swing open the door and leave you standing amazed and excited! Trust in His ability to provide and protect and try to think positive thoughts! If you feel led to go back to AZ, then keep praying for God to open doors there. Praying that He lessens the fear and anxiety and sadness and replaces those feelings with the hope, joy and peace only He can provide when life is hard and confusing.
God has a way of reaching us at the right time, Amen! As I read your message my heart opened up with joy knowing I am definitely in a season of change and it feels good and scary at the same time. I am 55 years young and was just separated from my employer for not being able to preform to their requirements. It was truly challenging at first, the process of my own mind and how I dealt with what seemed like failure, however I find myself at day 6 of this separation reading and finding more and more things to bring me joy and wonder as to why this was God’s way of shifting my life to a better and less stressful level, while it also brought me closer to him. I believe there are no mistakes in this life and as Tracie has said, and thank you for all your teachings Tracie, I completely enjoy them and find so much solace in them. Change is hard when it’s not what we want, and believe me I did not want to be without a job ever! or at this point in my life! Yet I believe in positive and happy thoughts today, because I choose happy, kindness, and I don’t always have to be right. Thank you so very much Tracie for all that you bring to us and all that you are becoming. May Our God continue to Bless you and you Family.
“Control your thoughts so they don’t control you”. This is the most challenging aspect of my walk with the Lord and interferes tremendously with living in the freedom and joy He provides. I need to choose to be purposeful about taking these thoughts captive, but then the lie comes flooding in that it is so time consuming (we all know it is more time consuming to focus on those bad thoughts and the trail they lead us down is always destructive. I like you point that if we have the will, God has the power and remembering that aspect – I cannot do any of it in my own power. Thank you for sharing these very important truths! God bless!!
All 3 of these tips resonate with me. Number 2 -I especially let my negatives thoughts lead me down into dark places of despair and faithlessness. Sometimes it’s hard to see in the midst of the storm He is holding you. I know God is faithful, I just want to REALLY KNOW it (heart nor head) and TRUST Him with everything no matter the cost. He is still in control!
Loss our family home 2 years ago in a short sale. I witnessed the utter destruction of what “was” for my family. My 18 old son was thrust into adulthood and had his own place a few months before poor choices led him into homelessness. I am heartbroken he won’t come home because, he doesn’t feel he has a “home” to come back to right now. My daughter, husband and I moved in with a friend, but it didn’t work out and ended up splitting up our family even further. My husband and I are now living in an in-law with church family, while my daughter has been staying with another church family for the school year. This is her senior year and she will be leaving in a few months to go to a college on the East Coast. I am grateful God has opened this opportunity for her. It has been such a blessing having the love and support of our church family. God has just provided for us in such amazing ways. However, it has been bitter sweet not being able to spend this last year with my baby, before becoming an empty nester. In some ways I see God has even used this time not only to prepare us for this new season in our lives, but provide a space for my husband and I to work on and heal our broken marriage. These next few months are going to fly by and once my daughter is settled, my husband and I have to find a new place to live as well. We have to decide whether to stay in our current area or move somewhere else, since we live in one the most expensive rental markets in the nation. So, I am truly learning to lean on the Lord and trying to trust that He is going to open an affordable place for us that we can all be together again under the same roof, once my kids return for the holidays.
In my small group study we are reading a book called “None Like Him”. Yesterday’s discussion focused on letting go of the past, letting go of the future and living fully each “today”. Traci your devotion today is just confirmation of this statement “The antidote for anxiety is to remember and confess that we can trust the future to God.” May I trust and place my family’s future in His gracious hands.
thanks Tracie…for your 3 points..they are so valuable ..as a reminder.. during this stage in my life..(the last stage to be sure..I’m 78 .. and am blessed to still have my husband of almost 59 years..however..it seems that age isn’t void of the challenge of change. so.. I will continue to look for the good in each situation & learn the lesson …
I will search out every reason to give thanks..for even the seemingly negative
happenings… and I will keep my thoughts.. words and actions positive and up-beat………….. as a man/woman thinks.. so he/she IS …
thanks Tracie..
love & hugs..from a ‘great-grandma…
#1 is what I need. I am going thru some challenges with my son and I am always wishing I could go back to change things and him. But I know that is not possible. I will also be experiencing empty nest along with these changes. I’m not ready but at the same time know it is right. Always praying and thankful God is with me
I am trying to do all three, and I have seen a big change in my attitude and my closeness with the Lord. Of course some days are harder than others. I need to focus on controlling my thoughts more, so #2 is the biggest challenge for me.
My twin sister, went to be home with the Lord, three and half years ago. We were not only twins but best friends too. We live together for 15 years. I am having to learn how to live life with out her here. Also I have to lean on God more. Step one is what I need to work on. God has continued to guide and lead me. I know Lori is in the better place but I miss her.
Wow, yes, #2….Our family has been through many heart breaking changes these past few years….Too many to mention and go on about….I have always struggled with my thoughts and the tapes that play inside my head……I know the concept of taking our thoughts captive, but, I find it hard to live it out and practice it daily, I start out well and always get sidetracked….I too often allow satan to lie to me and live in fear…….Been reading more books on staying positive and always trying to look for the good in everything…..old habits die hard and it is a daily battle…..Staying in the word definitely helps! Thank you for addressing such an important subject. Looking forward to your book for added help in this daily grind.
There’s been a reorganization at work that is requiring me to move to another department. I started this job less than a year ago and I love the new (WAY less stressful) environment. I’m apprehensive about the change, and will implement all of your suggestions. I’ve told myself to be positive and with prayer, I have felt better. I received this article in an email and it came at the perfect time. (imagine that. The Lord’s timing is so perfect)
I have went through a lot of changes since July of last year. I got married and in August my only child went to college and my husband‘s youngest daughter had the first grandchild. September 1 was my last day working for a company that I had been at it for 26 years. I then moved 2 hours and 15 minutes away from all my family. My husband and myself live in a small town now. I thought I would find a job quickly but I still have not found a permanent job. I see how God’s hand has been in all of this but at times I struggle adjusting to a totally different life than what I have been used to. My husband‘s dad preached at the church I grew up in as a child. We hadn’t seen each other in about 46 years. We dated seven months and got married. Control my thoughts is something I have to be aware of and go to God when I want to get in a panic.
This was a much needed read. Change this is a very difficult season for me…we are trying to figure out where we should live. We moved away from friends and family and I’m feeling lonely. Now we are at a cross road of moving again. I just don’t know what to do.
My husband illness (suffering with back pain and bones disease) that led him to not be active in Church as he was used to. I have to be the guide at home for kids to encourage them to keep going and be active in Church even when his father not. Thank you for sharing your story and hoe you are overcoming. I praise God for it. I am choosing: Commit to being happy despite the changes I am enduring and trust God always has a plan for me and my family. Amen.
My husband of 22-years & I have attending a couples’ communication class. There we have been learning how to communicate better as a couple & a person. Some of the suggestions from the class that I would like to implement my husband absolutely fights against even though they would be good for us as a couple. This has been creating unnecessary stress & anxiety for me. As a solution, I will continue to pray about it & turn it over to God for resolution. #3 is what I will focus on, finding joy in the present.
My husband of less than a year but together 4 years decided in Oct. He wanted to check the grass out on the other side of the fence. He moved her in a month after he moved me out. I was devestated and was beyond hurt, confused and angry. I just stayed in my Bible, prayed, cried, screamed and pleaded for the pain to stop. I had to realize I had a grandbaby that was missing me and a new grandbaby on the way and I just couldn’t give up on life. I had to keep telling myself God will work all things for the good. I wasn’t alone no matter how I felt. He heard my cries and gave me the strength I needed. I find Joy in my grown kids, grandbabies, and my parents. I thank God I still have them both. I just look to my future and TRY not to look back. This is still very fresh but I know I will get thru this. God has big plans for me and I am ready for that journey.
Before I turned 35, I held the hands of both of my parents as they suffered and died from cancer, 5 years apart. I’m an only child. I was pregnant when my mom found out she had terminal cancer and thankfully she made it to see him be born. During that time I developed a panic disorder and was diagnosed with a chronic colon illness just a year later. That illness is autoimmune and life long so it was a tough pill for me to swallow on top of everything else. I believe number 2 on your list speaks to me loudest, focusing on positivity. But honestly, every point you make is incredibly beneficial. We all have “stories” and have to learn to be who we are in Christ with our new circumstances, wanted or unwanted. Thankful for this word today, it was truly encouraging!
We have been in Christian marriage counseling for over a year. We have been married 37 years. It took my husband a long time to accept being ADHD and only this past month, we are now working with the knowledge of his having a mild form of asperger. I’m in the middle of greaving the marriage that I hoped for and learning how to accept moving forward in the marriage I now have. I’m not sure what the future holds for either of us, as he has not quite accepted Christ.
I have had my own ups and downs; through early childhood molestation, ptsd, chronic depression, migraines, fibromyalgia, feet problems, and now obesity. At 65, (a milestone I’m fighting against), it’s hard to change, but not impossible.
And we are still not empty nesters. Our youngest son (25) ADHD also, is steadily working on becoming a mechanical engineer and can not afford to live on his own. I call it limbo time.
Thank you, Tracie.
I was going thru a change similar to yours: last year my relationship ended as well and it took me a while to climb out of that pit. And now it looks like I will have to move from a place I learned to call my home where I lived for 10+ years…in a way it can be good/a fresh start that I may need, but at the same time it is change that a part of me resists :).
I think the tip that I need to focus on implementing in my life is #3- commit to being happy (despite the circumstances). I understand the value of it with my head, but if I heart still feels hurt and broken I realized it is very hard to have a happy attitude despite the circumstances, but this is something where I still need healing and growth in I suppose.
Thank you for your encouragement to us!
My divorce brought changes that I did not expect or want, but God has been faithful to bring much joy into my life. I continually keep reminding myself to see what I have, not what I don’t have.
I read many of the comments above and found my life is not so different than many who experience the end of a relationship. My 2nd marriage is out of control. I have prayed for 20 years for my husband’s salvation, yet he has resisted accepting the Lord and now resentful of my faith. It has taken many years to realize that most of my health problems stem from the stress of trying to meet expectations placed on me. I can never succeed in pleasing him. I have a desire to be with my boys and their families and need to move there to bond with the grandchildren and find freedom from the struggles that surface in this marriage. I found the Lord calling me to leave as I need to live in a healthy place with loved ones who desire me to be with them. I know my husband will not change and he will continue to be controlling and abrasive to me. The Lord keeps sending such messages as yours to encourage and strengthen my faith. The three suggestions given are perfect to put into practice. God knew I needed these words and that I can trust Him to take care of details and give me wisdom as I proceed into the unknown yet challenging future.
My pastors, their wives, and a very close friend call this season of change in my life a trial, backed up by scripture obviously (the book of James). They have continually been teaching me to find the Joy in life through this present Trial. #3 (Commit to being happy despite the changes you’re enduring and trust God always has a plan.) really fits my life right now. It builds upon the life lessons they are trying to teach me! What better way to life live than to find the joy/happiness in our present situation, regardless of the circumstances we currently find ourself in! Thank you so much for sharing these great tips. I easily see how all of them can positively affect my life.
One of my daughters is dealing with a lot in this season of her life. My heart aches for her at times and I would love to just make it all better for her. I am choosing to sell out/take joy despite our circumstances and praying she grasps this as well. Joy is here for the taking and we must learn to grab it and live it. Lord, help us to be content where you have us today. Help us to trust you for our tomorrow.
“I am choosing to seek out/take joy”
Wow, I can’t believe that there are so many women in my situation. I went to the doctor for a check-up and found out I had an STD and needed surgery. I confronted my husband and found out he’d been cheating on me for all of our 15 years of marriage with prostitutes when he went out of town on business. He admitted to pornography addiction, sex clubs, etc. I found a naked picture of him that he said he’d put on Craigslist as an ad for sex for 3-somes, but never followed through. I had no clue whatsoever. Our only child found out and it has created such trauma in her life. When she’d stay with him for visitation, she found lesbian pornography, sex toys, etc., and added more trauma. I divorced him last September. 5 months later in February, he met another woman (who’s a psychologist) and they got married after two months of dating. In March, he asked me for full custody of our daughter (she’s 15). I said no. He’s filed a custody motion, we’ve gone to court several times, and he accused me of being an unfit mentally ill mother that can no longer take care of my child. I’ve spent all of my retirement, savings, and any extra money I have, am now financially destitute, was a SAHM for 15 years, am turning 50 next month, and can’t find work to save my life. Our daughter has been diagnosed with a mood disorder, ADHD and Asperger’s. She’s become so angry at him that she’s been hospitalized 11 times, quit going to school recently, felt homicidal, suicidal, and that life isn’t worth it. His new wife has interfered in her treatment, trying to change her meds, doctors, etc., and wants her put in a residential home for over a year. I can’t take much more. I’m scared of losing custody of my daughter, scared I’ll never find work, terrified of having no place to go because now I have to move to a cheaper apartment, have no family support because my family is dysfunctional and I’ve had to set boundaries, and now I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from when my great grandfather and father molested me when I was little, and was raped at 13. I know God has a future and a hope for me, but at my age now, I’m starting to doubt it. I’d say I need to work on all 3 things and just trust God. What’s the saying? Let go, and let God?
Last fall, my wife decided that she wanted out of our 33 yr marriage because she was unhappy and wanted to be alone. I was devastated and was reeling for the past 7 months as I adapted to the new reality. The writing was on the wall as she had been avoiding me for the previous 2 yrs on the advice of her therapist. She didn’t even want to do any therapy and hasn’t wanted to talk at all since last fall. Just wanted to be alone after retiring from her 25 yr teaching job a year earlier. I called on God daily for his compassion and comfort. It was the only thing I had to lean on with any consistency. I lost a major portion of my family as I was closer to her family than mine. But just in the past 2 weeks, I moved into my own apartment. I have friends that are super supportive. I am happier than I have been in many years. My divorce is processing with the lawyers now and my wife still doesn’t want to communicate with me. I have learn to live with the fact that I don’t exist to her anymore and no longer care what her reasons may be. Without God in my corner, I would not have been able to rise above this devastating event. He carried me through many days when I could hardly function at work. I have learned to look for the multitudes of blessings in my life and know that he is always with me. My outlook is positive and I am finally embracing the new future for myself. Very humbling.
My husband of 38 1/2 years passed away from cancer that we had been battling for 3 years. I feel so alone and I keep going back to if only he was here! I miss him so much. It is a very hard, lonely new normal. I hare it!
Just before Christmas I became a single mom raising 2 teenage boys and saying goodbye to a daughter who moved out of state. A very hard and trying time for sure.
I am going to embrace #1 Don’t long for what was, but find joy in what is.
My job has been unknown since we have merged with a bigger company. I love my job and I am concerned to be laid off. It has been so unknown for 8 months now and I am trying to look at the positive side and embrace this change. My husband and I both work here so it is so scary. I pray and trust god knows what my future holds and continue to try to stay positive.
We lost our 15 year old daughter to a 12 year battle with leukaemia, three years ago – next month. But I still see it as a hard season that we’re still enduring. We still have unforseen hardships and certainly miss her so badly! She was consistently crusading for Christ, longing to go to church and got me SO hooked on K-Love radio!! She spoke with such maturity and I continually pray that everyone she spoke to, about certain subjects she felt so strongly about, will still hear her Loud! And! Clear!! We love and miss ya Little Lady!!!!
This devotional was exactly what I needed to read today.
Earlier this month, I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree. I had originally planned to go to graduate school immediately after my obtaining my Bachelor’s degree, but I was not accepted to attend any doctorate programs. I have been working on my education for a long time, but now I am back at home taking a gap year. This change has been very unsettling for me and it has been difficult to cope this feeling of failure.
After reading this devotional, I understand what I need to do. Instead of focusing on what my life would be like if I was still in a university, I need to focus on what God has led me to do now during this gap year and finding joy in what I am doing. I have been blessed with many job opportunities, so I am grateful and finding the joy in that instead of worrying about this change.
I trust that God is holding my future in His hands.
Thanks for this it’s exactly what I needed to be reminded of. I dwell on the negative and want so badly to change but it seems to be my default. Today I will do my very best, with God’s help, to count my blessings and to remember that God has a wonderful plan and to not fear it.