Tired Of Trying To Be A Perfect Mom? (and great book giveaway!)

Do you ever feel like a failure as a mom, simply because no matter how hard you try, you always seem to fall short in the perfection category?

I’ll quickly confess that I have had these feelings countless times, from feeling guilty over letting my baby wear a wet diaper too long, to feeling guilty over losing my temper with my teenager. The desire to be a perfect mom is always tucked quietly away in the back of our minds, setting us up for imminent mommy guilt.

I feel fairly confident that every mom can relate to those feelings, and that every mom needs some reassurance that nobody expects them to be perfect. That’s why I am so honored to promote Jill Savage’s newly released book called No More Perfect Moms. I mean seriously, the title alone is encouraging!

So today I have invited Jill – who is the Founder and CEO of Hearts at Home and the author of 9 books – to guest post on my blog, and she also graciously agreed to give away a free copy of her new book! In this book, Jill is honest and transparent about how God is growing her even through difficult seasons of life, and I know it will speak to your heart.

So below is a great message from Jill, and at the bottom of this post you can find out how to enter to win the giveaway.

smaller cover NMPMWhat’s Wrong With Me?

When child number one threw a fit in the grocery store one day, screaming at the top of her lungs in this very public place, I was so embarrassed.

I’d witnessed a scene like that before I had children, and I swore my kids would never do that. Since becoming a mom, I’ve found myself in all kinds of situations I never thought I’d be in.

When the kids didn’t sleep much, I found myself beyond weary. When they didn’t potty train as quickly as other kids their age, I was discouraged. When they grew older and began to have a mind of their own, I found myself exhausted from the conflict.

I’m less patient than I thought I’d be. I weigh more than I want to. My children are more strong-willed than I expected. At times, my marriage isn’t the “happily ever after” I dreamed it would be.

Inside I think thoughts like: I don’t measure up. I’m failing as a mom. My kids don’t act like her kids. My house doesn’t look like her house. My body doesn’t look like her body. My husband doesn’t help like her husband does. What is wrong with me?

Have you ever felt that way? Have you wondered what is wrong with you, with your family, with your kids?

The truth is that nothing is wrong with you or your family–or me and my family. We are all normal. Our frustrations are normal. Our disappointments are normal. Our struggles are normal.

When you and I compare our insides to other women’s outsides, we always come out short. We’re comparing our struggles to their masks. There are no perfect moms (just women who make a good outward appearance). There are no perfect kids (just kids who are dressed well and behave well just when you see them). There are no perfect houses (just ones where the clutter is cleverly stored!) There are no perfect bodies (just ones who know the beauty of Spanx!)

Perfection doesn’t exist…but unfortunately we waste a lot of time and energy pursuing the elusive mirage we’re just sure can be found. While we’re pursuing perfection, we’re missing out on the most precious parts of life: the laughter of silliness, the joy of spontaneity, the lessons found in failure, and the freedom found in grace.

Let’s give ourselves—and our family–the gift of grace to make mistakes. We can’t be perfect moms, but we are the perfect mom for our kids.

So what about you? How has motherhood surprised you?

Leave a comment sharing how motherhood has surprised you at times,  and you’ll be entered to win a copy of No More Perfect Moms. Random drawing will be held on Wednesday February 20th and winner will be announced on my blog.

(For more information about Jill, you can find her online at JillSavage.org and NoMorePerfectMoms.com.)

23 Comments

  1. Lisa White on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Motherhood itself surprised me! I had not “planned” to conceive a month after the wedding. It was not in my agenda that pregnancies be difficult and all but one of my children be premature. I had not expected. Half of my children to be on the autism spectrum. I did not realize I would learn more than I would teach or that the joy would be exponentially increased.



  2. Dana on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 9:41 am

    Motherhood never ceases to surprise me. It seems there is always a new phase of life that I am unprepared for. We are coming into preteen and teen years and all that goes with it. I am discovering I need God more everyday just to get thru because I have no idea how to parent during this time.



  3. Nancy Morse on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 9:51 am

    I tried and tried to become pregnant for many many years and failed. I couldn’t understand why everyone around me was pregnant and it just wouldn’t happen for me. Then one day I got the opportunity to take in a 4 yr old lil boy whom had blessed my life in so many ways. My husband and I still wanted to try to become pregnant didn’t happen. My brother and his wife had 3 children whom were all a year apart, mom suffered from postpartum depression, dad had to work to provide. My hubby and I stepped in and everyone moved in with us. Finally we had a huge family of our own. We all still live together, and everyday us a challenge with a 3,4,5,and 11 yr old, in the house. I have accepted that this was all part of Gods plan for me, and of course there are days where I feel guilty or not perfect enough for my kids.I would love a copy of this book



  4. Denise on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 11:50 am

    I have blessed with 9 wonderful children. I know I’m not a perfect mom. Being a mom is the best job in the world but also probably one of the hardest. One would think that by the time I got to number 9 I would have it all figured out. So not the case. I have been surprised to see that each child is unique and brings something new to our lives. It is amazing to watch them grow and learn. I am often asked “How do you do it?” My response is “Lots of prayer and a good husband!” I can’t imagine raising children without God’s help. He is my rock and when I remember to lean on Him, life is always easier. One of the best surprises of motherhood has been how one smile or look from your child can make what seems like the worst day all better.



  5. Sarah C on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    Motherhood has been the most rewarding & heartbreaking experience of my life.



  6. Judy on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    Motherhoood has been my biggest love and biggest challenge. I love my children more than words can discribe. The young years went by way to fast and I wish I could have enjoyed them more. Im now in the tween, teen and young adult years and oh my word, I had no idea it would be this stressful. The worrying and the feelings of failure because of the decisions their making. I know they need to experience things and that its all part of growing up and becoming who they are but I worry so much. The late nights of waiting up is much worse than no sleep with a baby. The calls from the police when they make bad decisions is such a huge mommy guilt trip. I feel like I have failed misserably. It is so nice to hear that all moms go thru this. I just hope I can get thru this all in one piece and my children grow into incredible adults.
    Thanks for your blog today. Helps to know others are going thru the same thing and I love the analogy that we are compairing our insides to their masked outsides.
    Judy



  7. Wendy on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    What surprises me daily is that each of our boys, with our DNA, raised in the same house can be so completely different! What works for one doesn’t work for the other. Just as soon as I think we have something figured out we realize it is completely different with the next. Motherhood keeps me on my toes, but it is the best thing in the world!



  8. Sandy on Monday, February 18, 2013 at 6:22 am

    How physically draining it is. I now know why my mom always looked so tired in the pictures from when my brother and I were young….she was exhausted. I am just getting to the point where my kids are becoming more independent with things, and while I am a little sad that they are growing up, I am grateful they no longer need me to do everything for them.



  9. Nikki Hendrix on Monday, February 18, 2013 at 6:37 am

    Motherhood to me is finding how different two children who came from the same parents can be so totally different. Looks, attitude, everything… I am learning to appreciate them for their differences. I couldn’t imagine my life without both of them, no matter how different they are. My teenage son is laid back, sometimes too laid back. My 11 year old daughter is head-strong, independent and loves to try to get the last word.



  10. kareng on Monday, February 18, 2013 at 7:13 am

    Motherhood is all consuming joy, sorrow, doubt, excitement, worry and doubt all wrapped up in one. My biggest heartache is mothering step children who reject me as their mother on a daily basis and watching their intentional “bad choices” used as a means to hurt me and my children not realizing how they are impacting he rest of their lives. Prayer, prayer and more prayer is how I make it through and some days I barely do.
    Thank you for your post and encouragement.
    Blessings,
    kareng



  11. jackie Brown on Monday, February 18, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    I let my emotions get the best of me with 4 kiddos and cried myself to sleep feeling like a failure last night. I needed to hear this. I definitely beat myself up.I used to be completely A type and mothering 4 has turned me into a c type.



  12. Renae on Monday, February 18, 2013 at 11:47 pm

    Thank you for starting a much-needed conversation. As women we need to support and not compete with one another especially in our roles as mothers because it is hard enough as it is.



  13. jennifer on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 7:49 am

    I have seen this book being promoted on several different sites and it strikes a chord with me every time. When I think back to the days before I became a mother (I now have 6 kids 11 and under) the “perfect” mom is who I pictured I would be. I am so far from that every single day. Lately I have really been struggling, trying to accept that fact that I am not that mom, and trying to find a balance between the mom I am, which is downright ugly at times, and who I can realistically be. So hard to find that balance. So hard not fall anxious about the days that are flying by and fearing that I am doing it all wrong and will “damage” my kids in the ways I feel short. I think this is a timely topic that pulls on the heartstrings of moms everywhere…



  14. jennifer on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 7:50 am

    thank you Jill for addressing this issue 🙂



  15. Madi on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 8:05 am

    True words spoken by a woman of grace. We need to lift each other up as moms, and as women of faith. Not compare and cut each other down, or ourselves. Life is hard enough. And being a mom is one of the most challenging, yet most rewarding professions there is. I’m in the midst of it with a 17 yo daughter (who is a delightful young woman-most days) and 2 young men-13 and 11. We are just getting to the hard part with the boys I think. They are all amazing creations. Thank you for your encouragement and wise words!



  16. Pam R on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 10:52 am

    With starting at 17 with my first daughter and then my second came along at 19 and a divorce came at 21. I had no choice but to move back into to my mom’s house. She always made being a mom look so easy. She was my rock that I could always go to when being a single mom was more than I could handle. But I never wanted to marry again. After 17 years of being a single mom I meet my soul mate and at 38 had a son and started motherhood again after my first daughter had made me a grandmother with 2 sons. My son wore the baby clothers from my grandsons and am now I have a great grandson. People often asked me why I wanted to have another baby when I was a grandmother. I didn’t always have an answer for them then as yes being an older mom and working a job had it moments but I also knew that my children were all blessings from God and so being older I learned not to sweat the small things and give God the bigs things. We are about to celebrate our 25th anniversary and just want to give some encourgement to others that being a Mom, Grandma, and Great Grandma is such a blessing even if there were times I didn’t think I would make it through the day so hang in there. The rewards are out of this World.



  17. RUTHONA WASINGER on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 11:37 am

    I BECAME A MOTHER AT AGE 29. I HAD LEFT MY SON’S “father” FOUR MONTHS
    EARLIER BECAUSE HE WAS A DRUG ADDICT AND ALCHOHOLIC AND WAS MAKING
    THREATS TO HARM ME AND THE BABY. THE MANY YEARS SINCE THEN, MANY
    PEOPLE, INCLUDING MY OWN TWO SISTERS, HAVE EXPRESSED “sympathy?!” TO ME
    BECAUSE MY SON HAS ASPERGER’S SYNDROME. EVEN THROUGH ALL THE DIFFICULTIES AND SORROWS THAT MY SON AND I HAVE GONE THROUGH, I HAVE
    ALWAYS CONSIDERED MYSELF VERY BLESSED TO BE HIS MOTHER.



  18. Jennifer Klemple on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    I love being a mom most of the time, except the times when I want to run away! haha No, but really it is the best thing that has happened to me besides my wonderful husband. My girls have shown me what love really is and I never thought I could love my girls so much…more than to the moon and back. With that comes the hard times of raising teens though. We will get through it and someday we will be best of friends. I know I haven’t been a perfect mom but I am the perfect one for my girls or God wouldn’t have given them to me.



  19. Susan K on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    As one who waited years for my daughter, I didn’t expect to ever feel “bothered” by her. One one hand, I know I need and should take time on my own to recharge. One the other, I need to spend more quality time with her. I just don’t ever want to take my DD for granted since I know how hard it was (and what a tremendous blessing it is) to have her.



  20. Yolanda on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    Being a mother surprised me when, as a teenager and young adult, I vowed never to be like my mother and now I wake each day to find myself more and more like her. Sometimes I am upset by that prospect and other times I am grateful to have had her influence to nurture my own children.



  21. Mariam on Saturday, March 2, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    I am Mariam used every single spell worker on the internet, spent untold amounts of money and discovered they are all fakes…i was the fool though; doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. In the end, I decided that I wanted a tarot reading to know what my future held for me; I contacted a woman who lives locally to me and she told me about a man named (Priests Meruja); he does not advertise on the internet, has another job for income, has no set prices, makes no false promises and refuses to help anyone that cannot be helped and even helps
    for free sometimes, he will give you proof before taking money. He is a wonderful man and he was the only person who actually gave me real results. I really hope he doesn’t mind me advertising his contact on the internet but I’m sure any help/ extra work will benefit him.contact him as oduakar1@live.com He travel sometimes.i cant give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he’ will replied to any emails asap,love marriage,finance, job promotion ,lottery Voodoo,poker voodoo,golf Voodoo,Law & Court case Spells,money voodoo,weigh loss voodoo,any sicknesses voodoo,Trouble in marriage,HIV AIDS,it’s all he does Hope this helps everyone that is in a desperate situation as I once was; I know how it feels to hold onto something and never have a chance to move on because of the false promises and then to feel trapped in wanting something
    more!



  22. Barbara Jones on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    I am in! I am sooo excited. I have been married for31 yrs, I want to continue the joy, respect, laughter &friendship with my husband.



  23. Kermit on Saturday, September 28, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    Mitsamt die Gärung die der Hanglage kommt es bei dem Hugo Sekt gut Hugo Cocktail Mosel an.
    An diesem ort finden fĂĽr sich jene FĂĽlle prickelnder Hugo Sekt -Rezepte fuer
    ein unvergessliches MenĂĽ zu dem Rendezvous – ob als aromatische
    Saucen-Zutat zu Fisch sowie Fleisch sowie als schäumender Hugo
    Cocktail Schuss in raffinierte SĂĽppchen stellen SĂĽĂźspeisen, Hugo Sekt verleiht
    fast allen fantasievollen KĂĽchen-Kreationen jenes gewisse Etwas.
    Auch bei besonderen Anlässen geht es sehr einfach nicht sehr ohne Hugo Sekt.



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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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