When Goodbye Actually Needs To Be Forever

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2 (NIV) 

Usually when we say goodbye to someone we love and we know it will be a while before we see them again, we might have to remind ourselves that “goodbyes aren’t forever”. But there are some things we say goodbye to that actually need to be gone forever. Like the heavy baggage we carry around in our hearts, for example.

Romans 8:1-2 above was the theme verse of my devotion today over at Proverbs 31, where I shared an all too common problem when flying – over packing. But it’s also been the theme verse of my life for the past fourteen years.

You see, I spent far too long listening to the lies of the enemy; all of which convinced me God could never love someone that wasn’t perfect or had a bag full of mess-ups to sling over their shoulder. But when the day came that I let God’s love drown out those lies and replace them with His truths, I said goodbye to all that shame and regret – and never will I say hello to them again.

Do you need to say some forever goodbyes to memories or regrets that are weighing you down? If this is something you struggle with, I’d love to have the privilege of praying for you if you want to leave a comment on my blog today.  We all deserve the emotional freedom, joy and purpose  Jesus died for us to have, so let’s choose to embrace those gifts and begin living life enjoying them.

join_launch_buttonMy new book Your Life Still Counts: How God Uses Our Past To Create A Beautiful Future is releasing in eight short weeks, and I’d love for you to join me in helping spread this heart changing message of letting go of the past and embracing the future God wants us to enjoy – not in spite of our past, but because of it. If you’re interested in joining the Your Life Still Counts Launch team, click here for all the info!

If you want to find out more about the book, click here to read more, and get a sneak peek at all the great free gifts you will get when you purchase your copy!

If you are a bible study leader or would like to start up a fall group study, might you consider Your Life Still Counts as your next study topic and help the women of your church say goodbye to regrets and hello to purpose?  I’m thrilled to have a free bible study guide and leader study guide available for you, and there are lots of other awesome free gifts just for  you to take advantage of!!  Visit the Proverbs 31 bookstore for all the info (psssst…. pre-orders will be available beginning September 8th! Amazon pre-orders are available now)




  1. says

    From time to time, I still get tormented in my dreams of my exhusband’s rejection and terrible disdain of me. We were married for 6 years when I was 17 to 23 years old and he did not tell me that he was Gay. Even though we were both Christians. We NEVER consumated our marriage and finally after 6 years I could take no more and I told him I had to leave, I obtained a divorce. I am now remarried but did not seek the Lord for his guidance in this marriage. I love this man very much and I have been walking with Jesus for many years, I have felt that because I am in this marriage now, I must try and follow the scriptures. He has even walked up to the alter to accept Jesus, but I don’t really see much in his life that he loves Him or wants to walk in His ways. Anyway my point is, we are in an unbalanced marriage and I often feel those same rejections emotionally and my married life is so strained. When he says hurtful things to me which is often, I often will get the dreams that I am referring to. Sorry, that I have gone on and one. PLEASE pray for victory and for Holy Spirit CLEAR guidance for me. Thank you.

  2. Kristina D. says

    There are so many things in my life that I need to say goodbye to. My childhood wasn’t the best and I hang on to a lot of garbage from it. I’m working through it and praying that God will heal me from the inside out. I know that He is working in me and that it takes time to work through things. I’ve also had to say goodbye to some people that won’t acknowledge that God exists. Knowing that I won’t see them again one day hurts too. I can’t wait to read your book! I know that God will do wonderful things through you with this book.

  3. Mandy says

    Back in 2009,y husband started talking to women online and texting them as well. My two daughters and I left him. For about a year, we stayed separated on and off. Even when he said he had stopped, he hadn’t. He eventually went to a support group, worked through his issues and was extremely remorseful. He is an open book now. I have complete access to all of his “electronics” and he answers all my questions. I struggle with fear, doubt and suspicion more than I should. I cannot let it go. I feel trapped in this horrible cycle. I need prayer. I feel like I’m going through post traumatic stress disorder or something.

  4. Cindy says

    I am carrying a heavy load from my past and want so desparately to let it all go. I just turned 49 this August and its only in the recent months that I have come to realize just how I embraced the victim label and have lived it out over my lifetime thus far… and I am SO sick of it!!! Like Paul the things I want to do, I do not do butthe things I don’t want to do, I do… its is such a vicius cycle and one that I am SO READY to quit … but for some reason can’t seem to for any length of time… Well I KNOW the reason. Its because I have not fuloly surrendered to God nor have I truly accepted his love and forgiveness. As a result of my being a victim I have passed that label along to my children who are adults now and going through difficulites that they don’t have too except for making negative choices… watching them and seeing the damage I’ve done has laid an even heavier burden on me… Please pray for me that I will finally embrace the love of Jesus Christ and the label He gives me… Child of the One True King!!!!!

  5. Kathy D says

    I’m in the middle of a mess of a marriage – trying to regain my personhood in spite of the manipulation and verbal abuse. Many regrets – my part in enabling this mess to continue for so long – for not standing up to my parents and following the career path of my dreams – my inability to fully let go of the hurts and frustrations. Prayers would be greatly appreciated for the ability to let go and really let God have it all – however He wants to resolve it – and the ability to hear Him clearly as I face the decisions that need to be made.

  6. Jessica C says

    Hi Traci,
    I’ve been carrying a really big load for the past (almost) two years now…several years ago, I said some very unchristian words in a letter to a man whom I’d thought God had shown me was the one, and I never heard back from him. No response, nothing…on top of that this man broke my heart….I finally gave up this unrequited love for this man, and I seemed to be doing okay…then like two years ago, the old feelings came back for this man….and I actually was in the middle of fundraising to become a missionary to the Philippines…I paid a visit to this man’s church, and I saw this man there, but he totally and completely ignored me….once again, the old hurt and rejection and anger hit hard again, and I ended up giving up my fundraising to become a missionary, partially because I still held out hope that I’d chosen the wrong path, that I was supposed to move back to CA and chase this man down again, that when God had shown me he was the one years ago, I said no, and now that I did want to be with this man, the man did not return my affection..seriously, I cry all the time over these past regrets and the fact that I have no job, no steady income…and I’m tired of it all. It just makes me angry, and the regrets just won’t go away….I’d appreciate prayer, as I’ve been pushing God away, and refusing to believe I even have a future anymore.

  7. Isabel says

    I’ve been haunted by the guilt brought about by the mistakes I have done in my past relationship. I was young, naive and 17 at that time but the Lord has rescued me from greater pain and destruction despite the bad choices I have made with my boyfriend then. Now that I’m 25, the Lord has blessed me with a really good man who loves me despite of my past. But I’m having problems dealing with the bad memories of the past and it saddens me that I am unconciously bringing it into the relationship. Often times, I feel like pushing him away everytime I am reminded of my past. I have been really praying about this these past weeks and I was crying out to God the other night, hating myself for still feeling this way many years later. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with God again. I am so afraid to fall into sin again and lose my deep connection with my Savior. I never want to go back to who I was in the past but I am in a deep struggle because of the lies of the enemy. Also, I do not want my baggages to affect my relationship with my boyfriend now. God has blessed us both when he brought us together and we both believe that He has a kingdom purpose for our relationship. I don’t want to lose the man I want to serve God with for the rest of my life just because I am haunted by my past mistakes. So this morning, I prayed hard that the Lord will speak to me about what He is teaching me until I received the Proverbs 31 devotion in my email. Thank you so much Tracie, God has used you to remind me that only my Savior can turn my past into my purpose. He is not done with me yet. It is not easy to say a forever goodbye to my past but it’s a war I am willing to wage against the enemy. It’s a battle I know Jesus has already won. He died for my emotional freedom, joy and purpose and I will live with that by grace through faith. Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you very much. May the Lord bless you and your ministry even more. Glory to God for using your life to speak hope and new life to my desperate soul. :)

  8. Carol says

    I been suffering depression for years and self hatred. Im so full of anger towards myself and my life because of my sins and those who have hurt me in the past. I know God loves and forgives me but I can’t seem to. Ive tried and it keeps coming back. Im desperate to live again. I cant even make friends as dont mix with people now. Ive lost all confidence. Please pray for me.

  9. Onita says

    Thanks so much, Tracie!! In my past, I’ve done quite a lot of shameful crap, but I praise our Lord that He has forgiven this child of His, after I confessed to ALL what I had done! Yeah, some times, I recall what I did, this is what I do: I rebuke Satan and order him to go back to hell, plus remind him, that WILL be his permanent home, someday, soon! Thanks, again! May our Lord continue to bless you & your family.

  10. Heidi says

    I understand firsthand the weight of shame and regret. Others sins taken out on me has left me ravaged by the aftereffects. I need to unpack that weight for good but can’t seem to forgive myself for the reactions that occur in my body. Therefore shame and regret are two major players in my life today.

  11. Doris says

    Briefly, Need prayer over past events that have hurt me tremendously. Happenings were not of my doing. I continue to grieve over my losses & dream about what could have been.

  12. E says

    Like so many others, I am in the middle of trying to let go. Of my past, of my hurts in relationships, of not trusting God…. I have been doing a lot of reading and am learning to do what Onita posted. I claim victory that I will praise our Lord and rebuke Satan. I am thankful for others covering me in prayer.

    Onita says:

    August 25, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Thanks so much, Tracie!! In my past, I’ve done quite a lot of shameful crap, but I praise our Lord that He has forgiven this child of His, after I confessed to ALL what I had done! Yeah, some times, I recall what I did, this is what I do: I rebuke Satan and order him to go back to hell, plus remind him, that WILL be his permanent home, someday, soon! Thanks, again! May our Lord continue to bless you & your family.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *