I am a woman – thus I like to talk.
I am a mom – thus I like to talk.
I am a speaker – thus further proving, that I like to talk.
And when I talk, I want people to listen. But more importantly, I want people to talk back. After all, who wants to talk to themselves? I honestly believe that communication is the backbone of every relationship.
I have a dear loved one in my life, who will listen, but will not talk, if a conversation is not one that they are interested in having.
No matter how much I say, how many different things I want to talk about, feelings I share, thoughts I express, hurts I discuss – silence. If this person does not want to talk about something, then they simply dont. And I dont like it.
The other day, I was feeling very frustrated about yet another one-way-conversation that had occurred, and the term “drowning in silence” popped into my mind. I have no idea where it came from, but there it was. Hanging in my thoughts. I couldnt seem to get it out of my head.
But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. In more ways than one.
You see, sometimes when I am trying to have a conversation with someone, and they are not reciprocating, it seems that the silence is heavier than if I were submerged at the bottom of a pool, weighted down by the water overhead, and engulfed by the deafening silence that surrounds me. There is a desperate longing for conversation and reassurance that becomes so overwhelming, it almost feels like drowning.
But instead of gasping for air, it is like gasping for two-way communication. Desperate for words to be spoken and thoughts to be shared. Just like air is a necessity for living, so is mutual communication.
Lately I have been talking to my heavenly Daddy – a lot – not just about this, but various things. I have shared with Him many thoughts, asked Him lots of questions, inquired for answers, pleaded for clarity, and reached out, and up, for assistance and direction. Yet what I felt I was hearing…… was silence. One-way communication. And I didnt like it.
Do you ever wonder why God seems to be silent? Why it seems that the communication is only coming from you, and one-way conversations seem to describe your prayer life? Do you ever find yourself wondering if He is really even listening? As if your words were just bouncing off the ceiling, and nobody was listening, much less God?
I think it would be so awesome if God would just send a big huge truck to cross my path, carrying blinking neon signs in all different colors that point in a specific direction and say “this way Tracie!”……or maybe just one carrying signs with one-word statements as answers to my prayers, such as “yes”, or “no”, “wait”, or “trust”. Geesh, I really want that truck.
But I began to wonder if maybe something was blocking my ability to hear from God – maybe something was standing in the way of that truck and it couldnt get through to me. Maybe it was sin. Maybe it was unworthiness. Maybe it was unimportance.
When people dont care enough to talk back to us, we may begin to feel unworthy or unimportant. As if our feelings dont matter at all. But those types of lies are exactly what the enemy would like for us to think about God.
Satan wants us to believe that it is ridiculous to think that the God of the universe would care about talking to us; that we dont deserve to hear Him speak; that we are not worthy of two-way conversations with Him; that He gave up on us a long time ago.
But I know that Gods promises tell us otherwise. And His Word far outweighs the lies of the enemy.
John 3:16 tells us that God loves us so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for us. If we were important enough to die over, I think we are important enough to be talked to! Now, I do like that.
As I said above, communication is the backbone of any relationship, including our relationship with God. Prayer should not be a Christian duty, but a Christian delight. Delightful conversation where we can openly share our innermost feelings and thoughts, and know that He is listening and responding and caring.
You know, once I sat down and thought about the past few weeks – various little things that had happened, how I had seen Him at work, situations where I felt His presence, bible verses that comforted me just when I needed them, little miracles that I know only He could have orchestrated, and things made my heart swell with love – I realized that God had not been silent at all.
God had been talking, a lot. It was I who had not been listening. God loves us and wants to communicate with us, just as we desire to communicate with the people we love.
So yes, I like to talk. What a blessing it is to know that God likes it too!
When we feel desperate for conversation, His ears are open.
When we need support and comfort, He will provide it.
When we are drowning in silence, He will break that silence with love.
We talk – He listens – and in His way, according to His perfect timing, He will respond.
Drowning in silence is no fun, but sometimes Gods silence could be an invitation to stop focusing on our circumstances, and focus on Jesus. It could be an opportunity for trusting God, and embracing His promises of faithfulness, in every situation.
I suppose there are times, when silence truly can be golden.