I found myself in a dark field, in the middle of the night, yet I was not alone.
Although I could sense the presence of other people scattered throughout the field, I could not see them clearly since the only light was coming from a few slivers of moonbeams that danced across the acres. Then I looked up, and saw a figure hovering near me, as my eyes strained to try to make sense of what I was seeing.
This figure, along with all the others roaming throughout the barren field, seemed to be shaped in the silhouettes of army soldiers, exuding the odorless scent of control and power. Suddenly somewhere deep in my soul, I felt an overwhelming sense of danger, so thick it was almost as if I could reach out and touch it, although I had no idea what danger lurked in this unknown place.
Before I could comprehend what was going on, I felt my weak body being thrown to the ground with great force, landing hard on my back as my head hit the cold dirt. One of the silhouette figures then pressed its weight on top of me, pinning me firmly to the ground with my arms crossed across my chest, prohibiting me from fighting back or trying to defend myself.
I could feel the hatred spewing from their spirit, and the presence of evil dripping from the empty face that I could not see. I could hear the wails of the other people in the field, and my mind was encompassed with fear and confusion about what was happening. Then in the midst of this heart ripping struggle, I had a divine revelation, as if God’s voice were echoing through the air, but only I could hear Him.
I became acutely aware to the depths of my soul that God’s Words were my only hope. My only lifeline. I knew His promises would protect me. I knew His Words held power over evil. I knew His Sovereignty was my only chance in this battle against unseen forces.
As could only happen in the context of the imaginary dream world, where anything is possible, my body instantly shrunk down to the size of a pencil. I wriggled out of the evil one’s grip and slung myself onto the pages of an open Bible that just happened to be lying in the tall grasses beside me.
I then reached over and grabbed a handful of pages by the corner with both hands, and began to roll with all my might; tearing the holy pages from the creases of the Book, and wrapping myself tightly into the pages of God’s Word, as if I were a caterpillar entombing itself in a cocoon.
Instantly, the faceless enemies retreated in fear. My spirit felt the evil leap from my presence, and I was freed from its weight upon me. Then suddenly, all was quiet. My heart was beating quickly and my breathing was labored, and although I was shaken up, I was left unharmed.
And then – I abruptly awoke from the deep slumber that had been holding me captive in this nightmare.
As I lay there, staring out at the pitch black darkness of 3:00am, my mind raced in every direction. My thoughts stumbled over each other, with each one trying to be the first to figure out what had just occurred. Although I knew I was safe and sound in my own warm bed, with my husband sleeping quietly beside me, my heart felt ravaged by this battle between good and evil that I had just experienced in the deepest recesses of my mind.
In that fragile moment with God, as my dreams still hung in the quietness of the air, I could do nothing else –but pray. I spent the entire next hour in deep conversation with Jesus. Then as if a lightbulb burst on in my head, it suddently became clear that myself, and my entire family, had been engaged in a fierce battle of spiritual warfare. The past year seemed as if one blow after another kept coming, but we had merely attributed it all to ‘life’, instead of giving credit, where credit was due.
So during this quiet time with Jesus, when the house was silent and it was just me and Him, all the fears and hurts and longings of my heart overflowed onto His feet like never before, and amid my pleas for His forgiveness and mercy and compassion, I felt a sense of freedom overtake my spirit.
It was a freedom I had not felt in a long time. A peace that had been escaping me for months as my mind struggled with negative emotions that had kept my heart trapped. As I allowed my mind to be engulfed with God’s love, I was overcome with gratefulness. I could not help but ask Him ….why? Why would He would care so much about me? Why do I matter? Why would He go to such lengths to get my attention, and to rescue me from this invisible battle, not only in the dream world, but in the reality of my life? Why did He die for me? Why does He love His children so much? Why were we worth it?
The only answer – a love that we cannot comprehend, from a Father who will fight to the death for us. In fact, He already did.
I believe with all my heart that God was showing me through my most subconscious dream-induced thoughts, that I had been living as an oppressed woman lately, fighting a battle that I was slowly losing. I had been trudging through each day, unknowingly carrying the weight of the enemy’s oppression, because I had given Him a foothold in my life by not guarding my heart from the enemy’s tactics. In Proverbs 4:23 we are instructed to “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” (NLT)…. and I now fully understand the importance of this command.
You see, I have been harboring anger and resentment for an adversity in my life, and although I know God commands us to choose faith over feelings, I was completely unaware of the toll my emotions had taken on my spirit. Therefore, over a period of time, a wall had been erected, blocking my view of what God wanted to do in my life and in the lives of those I love.
I had temporarily and inadvertently allowed the frustrations to become my focus, instead of the life saving promises of my Bible. So although my physical body was not actually at war with the unseen enemy as it was in my dream, my spiritual body was -and the time came for God to pry away the life robbing grip that the devil was trying to have around my throat. The time came for God to remind me that He does not leave His beloved ones to fight the battle alone.
Friends, this may be a lot for you to digest today, and I will admit, I hesitated about sharing my dream with you, for fear that you may question my mental faculties, or maybe wonder if I need serious professional help. But I deeply believe that when God speaks to our hearts this profoundly, regardless of what method He uses to make His voice known, that it is not meant to be kept a secret. So even at the risk of ridicule or being called a religious fanatic, I felt called to share this with all who would listen.
God blessed me with a glimpse of the unseen spiritual battle that takes place every day in our spirits. A battle that is waged against us by the prince of this world, through the adversities, circumstances and heartaches that we endure. A battle that we are hopeless to win, unless we wrap ourselves in the promises and truths scrolled onto every single page of God’s Word.
I will never again merely treasure my Bible as a possession that I often take for granted. Instead, I will treasure the Words within it as my lifeline, and my only hope for fighting this battle against the one who wants to destroy us from the inside out.
Ephesians 6:12 says “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” (NLT)
There is a battle going on for your mind and your heart, even if you have a hard time grasping the reality of spiritual warfare. You don’t have to believe in spiritual warfare, for the enemy to wage war on your life. In fact, he’d rather you not believe in it, because that makes his battle much easier. But when it strikes, and it will, know that you have the power within you, and at your fingertips, to fight it.
Maybe you have felt an unrest in your life lately, as I had. Maybe you have felt oppressed and distant from God, but haven’t been able to pry yourself free from negative memories or emotions holding your heart captive. Maybe you have been feeling confused and alone, but unsure what steps to take to make things better. Maybe your unwillingness to let go of anger, or unforgiveness, is building a wall that you can no longer see over.
Maybe you have accidentally, gradually and unknowingly given the devil a foothold in your heart.
Sweet sister, you can be set free today. Surrender to God whatever it is that is weighing your heart down, and pray for spiritual freedom. If you ask you will receive, and the battle will be won – until tomorrow.
The war continues, but the Prince of Peace will always have victory. And freedom is ours for the taking.
Isaiah 43:1-3a Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. (NLT)