Be Careful How You Talk to Yourself Because You Might Lose You

There have been a handful of people in my lifetime who made me feel utterly and completely rejected. People whose hurtful actions, self-centered or thoughtless decisions, and critical words caused me to doubt my worth in this world – as a person, a woman, and even a treasured child of God.

I imagine you could say the same thing. Everyone has felt rejected at one time or another – and it hurts. Whether you were rejected by a co-worker, supervisor, friend, parent, child, spouse or someone in your community who wouldn’t let you in their exclusive circle, rejection leaves behind an invisible path of destruction in our hearts and minds and has a long term negative impact on our self esteem. In fact, sometimes rejection can make us forget who we really are as we weaken under the poison of it’s sting.

But we don’t have to live as a victim of rejection. We don’t have to let the negative thoughts in our heads about ourselves cause us to forget who we are and our value.

No matter what anyone says about us or does to us, we are in control of how we see and think about ourselves. We are in control of the dialogue that runs through our brains about our value and worth. And we are in control of making sure we hang on to who we know we are, and Whose we know we are, rather than tying our self worth to someone else’s opinion, approval or acceptance.

Anytime we feel hurt, rejected, betrayed, accepted or unwanted, regardless of the circumstance, we always have two choices to choose from:

Choice #1. Choose to allow one person words – which become our words to ourselves – or their rejection define who we are and determine our worth.

Choice #2. Choose to allow God – and His words – to define us and give us worth.

Choice #1 gives other people the authority to determine our identity and our self confidence. It allows them to decide if we have value or not based on their own opinions, and we begin reciting those words in our heads and eventually start to believe them. If we choose to believe their hurtful or critical words or actions as truth, we not only give that person control over our joy but also permission to destroy our self esteem.

Choice #2 gives God the authority over saying who we are based on the truths in His Word. This choice allows us to hold tight to His promise that we are each valued and worthy in His eyes simply because we are His and nothing anybody says or thinks about us will ever change that.

Unfortunately  throughout my lifetime in a myriad of different situations, I chose Choice #1 all too often, giving other people dominion over my happiness and self confidence. But lately, I’ve tried to learn to be better at choosing Choice #2 and remembering who I really am when my mind drifts back to the dark places where rejection and the lies of the enemy want me to live.

Over the past couple years,  as a result of becoming separated and divorced in a fairly short period of time, I have experienced rejection and betrayal to the fullest, most heartbreaking extent. As a result, believing in my value and worth in God’s eyes and believing in myself, in addition to trying not to lose myself along the way, was and is a daily challenge.

Yet it is this awareness of my continual need to make the choice to remember who I am in Christ when my heart is aching due to rejection, or even the shame of my own mistakes, that really drew me into the words of my friend Chrystal’s new book, She’s Still There: Rescuing the Girl in You.

You see one day last year, I suddenly realized that somewhere along this difficult journey, I had lost some of “me”.  In fact, at times, I felt like I had lost all of me. On many days, I felt like I didn’t know who I was or who I was supposed to be. But Chrystal’s book helped remind me that she – me – was still there. I just had to find her again and invite God to help me rediscover and embrace who I was in Him – whoever that might be.  I had to be more aware of how I talked to myself and the lies I was listening to inside my own head, because as Chrystal wrote, “You will believe what you tell yourself, so be careful what you say.”  She also wrote, “Wrong thinking can steal the life that the girl in you would love to live.” Amen.

If you’ve been struggling in some way with who you are, your self worth and value, or even wondering if God truly loves you, might you consider picking up a copy of She’s Still There? If a hard situation, a difficult relationship or a mistake of your past has stolen your joy and robbed you of self-confidence, do you at times feel like you don’t recognize the woman in the mirror anymore? I get it. And that’s why this book touched my heart so much and I know it will yours too. In fact last month I wrote a post about a similar message (When You Realize You’re Bleeding, Get Some Help) and it was based on Chrystal’s message in this book, and I want to encourage you to read that post too if you haven’t already.

Don’t give someone else’s words or actions dominion over your joy, self confidence and peace. You have the choice to choose you, instead of lose you, and it begins with the thoughts you think and the way you talk to yourself.

Has something happened in your life that has caused you to feel like you’re not yourself anymore? Like part of you – or something – is missing?

Have you been allowing your thoughts to taint how you feel about yourself and your life?

Do you long to get back to the old you – the one that felt comfortable in her own skin and didn’t hang her self worth on the acceptance or approval of others?

Do you struggle with not only being happy with yourself, but with life in general, and long to find direction, purpose and beauty again? 

Leave a comment on my blog  sharing a quick thought about this subject to be entered to win 1 free copy of She’s Still There!

** Replies sent in email will not be eligible to win the free book.**

The winner of the free copy of my new book Unsinkable Faith: God-Filled Strategies for Transforming the Way You Think, Feel and Live from the August 10th post The One Thing You Need to Do When Your Child is Going Off to College   was Danyel who has been notified via email. Congrats Danyel and thanks to all who left their encouraging comments on the blog! 


  1. Lindsay on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 8:26 am

    Thank you for your beautiful and honest post. After getting married for the first time in my mid thirties, leaving my job, moving, and now quite possibly listing our house and moving again, there has been much change in my life which has led to asking many of these questions of my life and of myself. Who am I now? Where am I going and what’s God’s plan and purpose for me now moving forward into this very different life? In ways I long for the old me to return, but know that a new and refined version of me is what is necessary.
    I am looking forward to finding and resting in the beauty and direction and purpose again – knowing it will be much different than its ever been before! Such a journey.
    Thank you for the reminder that she’s still in there.

  2. Lisa on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Now in my 50’s, I am the “sandwich” generation taking care of my handicapped mother while helping my young adult children learn to “adult”. My husband wants to leave me and I am an empty nester. Gave my life to everyone around me and now, I don’t know who I am and need healing. Would love to read your book as a resource on that path towards wholeness in Christ.

    • Anne on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 1:55 pm

      I struggle with similar feelings, although a bit different , my husband left 15 years ago when my children we’re in grade school, I purposely did not pursue a relationship for fear of any harm to my kids, I put my life on hold to focus on them. They are launched and don’t appear interested in investing in our relationship. My mom passed away a year ago, I now am caring for my sister. I feel like the best years have been given away and life is very empty. I battle the concluding thought that I am obviously not wanted, I must not be worthy of having meaningful relationships or God would bring those people into my life. Trying to get a grip on living the rest of my life alone.
      I have purchased Chrystal’s book, listened to her podcasts. Her message rings true to my heart, gives me hope.

  3. Susan on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 8:45 am

    I can’t remember ever being comfortable in my own skin and have a continuous struggle with self-worth and self confidence and I’m in my late sixties.

    • Su on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 9:09 am

      Susan – I just read your post and wanted you to know that I care how you feel…I, too, am in my sixties and struggling. I will be praying for you.

  4. Ginger on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 8:48 am

    Just received my copy yesterday! Hoping to lead a group of ladies through a study in the fall. The blurb from Proverbs 31 sounded like something I needed so I ordered it!

  5. Suzanne Simmons on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 8:52 am

    Thank you for this and other posts, as well as your book “Unsinkable Faith” that I am reading. As we moved around a lot until I was in my teens, I have always struggled with self-esteem and feeling worthy. Now in my late 50’s and suffering through total rejection from my oldest son, I am in counseling and struggling to know who that girl was. I would absolutely love to have Chrystal’s book!

  6. Tammy on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 9:01 am

    This is me right now!! I’m so lost!! I had major back surgery that has ended in a long recovery and end of my work life. I have lost friends who have disappeared in my inability to do things….I have always worked….who am I now….my body and brain are learning how to work right again….I need to find my way into this new season of life! Maybe this book has my message!! Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone and I can make it through! Blessings!

  7. Su on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 9:02 am

    Dear Tracie – Your post,, “Be Careful How You Talk to Yourself”, was powerful and what I REALLY needed to read. I defined myself by the words that have been spoken to me by my husband ( ex: you are about worthless / you can’t even butter a piece of toast right etc. etc.)….. as the years went by, I began believing them. Through words such as the ones you wrote today in your blog, I am, with my gray hairs and old weak bones, standing as straight as I can, to fight the battle in being the person God made me to be. They say it is never to late to change and I am going to strive to prove that….I will need your prayers, please. I don’t hear as many hurtful words from my husband as I use to….I am not sure if he has run out of things to say or if God is really working in his heart….please pray for him too (I have for SO many years). I want so much to feel good about myself and the person God made me to be. I know I don’t qualify for your friend’s book because I am writing by email (I am not on facebook) but, I hope to be able to purchase one, and will, hopefully, find the girl that is still within me…I sure hope I can recognize has been a LONG time since I have seen her. Thanks again for your most helpful post and also thank you in advance for praying for me/us.

  8. VICKIE on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 9:14 am

    I have always struggled with poor self esteem. I grew up with a mom who always told me I was no good at anything I did. When my children came along she told the pediatrician that I was her biggest failure because all my brothers and sisters had become successful in their various careers and I was just a ” mother”. I have read ” Unsinkable Faith” and am working on trying to get the negativity from years of being told ” you are no good” out of my way of thinking. It is a VERY difficult process but with prayer and Scripture
    reading, memorization and writing things in my journal that are positive I am confident I will succeed. I have listened to Crystal’s pod cast and would very much like to read her book. Your blog has given me MUCH encouragement. Thank you for sharing your struggles as they have helped me remember we are not alone in this God is right there to walk with us through this life. He WILL see us through.

  9. Tamara on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 9:16 am

    God’s timing is perfect. I am in a place of rejection as described in this devotion. In the midst of the storm it is so hard to remove the lies from our hearts and minds as the devil is in over-drive. but if we pause, breathe look up and soak in God’s love there is healing. thank you thank you for this… my heart is healing and remembering the love, grace and mercy Christ offers and shares with me. If I abide in Him, He can and does abide in me

  10. CarrieC on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 9:37 am

    This is so true!! It’s no easy task to retrain yourself to only speak God’s truth about you–especially during times of rejection.

  11. Kim on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 9:40 am

    Hi Tracie, your post really hit home for me. I can relate to your situation, Over the last 2 years my marriage ended in divorce with him leaving me for someone 13 years younger. Although they are both non believers, I am jealous of their relationship. Unfortunately I tend to go towards #1 and let my ex husbands words fill my thoughts daily. It is a very hard road to change that pattern. I have let him define me and steal my joy. I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do next and my self esteem has gone to almost zero. I have learned to lean on God more than I ever have in my life. It sounds like this book would be helpful for me.

  12. Darlene Dunlap on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 10:10 am

    Wow. I needed this. Too many times I have listened and believed the stuff that was said about me. My self esteem is poor. I have struggled with weight problems for years, I have been married twice and both cheated on me. so I usually go towards # 1. I believe what my husband says. He says good things but also bad things about me, and that’s what I believe the bad. It’s like I can’t hear anything good or believe it. Just yesterday I was praying to stop letting other people’s moods affect me and stop believing the negative stuff that my husband says. I do want to find the “girl” in me and be happy. Thank you for this post. I will definitely read this book.

  13. Tammy Dobson on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 10:14 am

    Divorce, youngest baby off to college and not knowing how to be me or who I am
    Trying to find Who I am again & what Gods plan for me is
    Praying for guidance and Gods will.

  14. Kathy on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 10:23 am

    Going through a similar situation right now. Even though I have a supportive husband and family (for the most part) around me; there is one person in my life that can reduce me to a pile of tears and cause negative feelings about myself in one instant. I begin to doubt myself and who I am as a person.

    Thanks for the opportunity to win this book!

  15. De on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 10:24 am

    This would be a wonderful book for my daughter. She struggles daily her entire life. Now recently married and struggling more than ever. My heart breaks for her.

  16. Denise on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 10:28 am

    I believe God led me to read your post this morning. I truly needed to hear these words. I am in crisis mode and without going into much detail need to read this book. I am praying for all who feel rejected. God is good and promises us that he will never give us more than we can bear. ♡

  17. Carol on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 10:41 am

    I came across this post on Facebook and right away I realized I was this person. Early in life I was called four eyes. It hurt, but didn’t get to me much. Then in elementary school I was called “stupid” by a teacher. Well, if a teacher tells you that, it has to be true. This started my downward spiral. Then at 14, I was raped. I didn’t tell anyone as I was too ashamed and embarrassed. Then I heard a story on TV about another young girl, and people were saying, “she was so stupid to let that happen, it must have been something she did to deserve it.” So now, I am both stupid and not worthy. I kept this all inside for many years, continually telling myself I am too stupid to do anything right, and I am worthless. Longer story short, 42 years later I am still telling myself these things (it was why my son got cancer, you know). I had become a Christian about 20 years ago, but always felt I wasn’t nearly good enough for God. I know better, but my negative self talk still trips me up today. I wanted to thank you for your post, and to let you know it sparked something in me. I will be buying the book soon and I pray it will help me finally become the woman God sees. God bless you!

    • Tracie on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 7:49 am

      Carol, Im so sorry people said such hurtful and life impacting words to you as a child, and for the violation against you when you were 14. I fervently pray that God will make His Presence known to you and that He will bring people and divine encounters into your life to reaffirm your worth and self confidence. You are not stupid or unworthy and these are lies from the enemy. Mean people’s words and actions dont define who you, only God can do that. Ask God to help you have freedom from those words and the other critical words you have grown to believe, try to replace each word with something positive about yourself and keep doing this day after day. I would encourage you to read my book Unsinkable Faith if you haven’t done so and I pray God uses it as a tool to help you begin transforming how you think about yourself so you can begin living life with a brand new outlook and joy! God loves you!

  18. Tracey on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 10:54 am

    Wow….. So this is really good asking with the other party you linked to about pulling over when you’re hurt and bleeding. So I’ve been considering there new study but not even sure what our who is still in there. Do I want to find the girl inside or did I ever really liked her anyway. Therein lies my hesitation in doing the study. I’m separated and beginning the divorce process……I fought as hard as I could and hung in for 20 years. My heart had been stomped on and this is the ultimate rejection. Running is healing for me but I’ve faced several injuries this year and instead of taking the proper time to heal, I’ve tried to push through the pain. That has taught me so much about how this relates to my “real life” response to the pain and plowing through. The plowing through is NOT my first recommendation. It doesn’t work in the physical or mental. If we don’t take time to heal we will walk with a limp or real disadvantage the rest of our life. There is nothing valiant about plowing through. It makes us less useful and just plain left with nothing so amen and I’m preaching to myself. I’m not looking for people to say how proud of me they are that I’m continuing to plow through. I want them to see that I don’t want to just plow but let’s be real- pain makes many people uncomfortable and many just want us to put on a smile and put our big girl pants on. I’m exhausted. I’ve got nothing left. I NEED God to fill me up.

    • Tracey on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 10:55 am

      Sorry typos…..Meant especially when linked to the other article about tending to bleeding.

    • Tracie on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 7:44 am

      Tracey – i personally have experienced every feeling you shared in your comment . Its sometimes easier to live on auto pilot and plow through than deal with the pain. But God can fill us. He can heal our hearts, slowly, but it does get easier. He can give peace, and when we receive it, its still hard to understand how we are feeling it. But thats God. Try to view this situation as freedom from your heart being stomped on anymore, and believe God has a great future in store for you with less pain, less rejection and less accepting of the unacceptable. You are valued and loved by God and Im sure by many others – believe in who you are and God’s love for you!

  19. Jill B. on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 11:22 am

    I shouldn’t be surprised but yet again, God’s timing amazes me. I was up until 2:30 am crying my eyes out regarding this issue of rejection. I’m so utterly SICK AND TIRED of allowing this root of rejection that obviously runs so deep in my 46-year history that I was BEGGING God to do whatever it takes dig it up in the name of JESUS! Have mercy on me, Lord, a sinner! Deliver me from myself and the lies of the Enemy!

    • Tracie on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 7:39 am

      Praying for you Jill! God heard your prayers and He wants you to see yourself as He does! Someones rejection does not define your worth. Pray every day for God to help you love yourself as He loves you and to stop letting the hurtful words of another person be louder in your head than God’s. You are loved and valued!

  20. Sharon +C on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 12:00 pm

    I grew up in a house that was so negative that that’s all we learned. My parents couldn’t talk to each other without snapping. It’s so hard to break that cycle too. Not finding any good in myself. I still struggle with self-esteem. Wanting to find a place where I can belong. I know I don’t want to be like their example It’s hard to find a place to belong.

  21. Nikki on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    I absolutely understand, and have struggled with this for years!!! I’m just now buckled tightly into my seat on bandwagon #2, and will certainly purchase this book, but I’d love to win it! I appreciate your candid and raw honesty. We need to stick together and build each other up. Rejection stings and it shouldn’t define us. You rock!!! ????

  22. Joy Marsh on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    I struggle with how I talk to myself all the time. If I can not complete what I am doing or if I do not like the way I look, I continue to call myself stupid and ugly. I know in my heart that I am not and I know that God really loves me, but I still struggle with how I speak to myself.

    • Tracie on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 7:37 am

      Sweet Joy, a great place to start would be to remove those two mean words out of your vocabulary all together! Stupid and ugly are words you would never say to someone else, so they shouldn’t be said to yourself! They are most certainly not true and not words God would use to describe you, His child. Ask God to prick your spirit each time those words come to mind or any other critical words about yourself, and immediately replace those words with something positive about yourself. Do this day in and day out and over time your thinking habits will change and your confidence will too! You can do it. 🙂

  23. Deb on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    Thanks so much for offering comments #1 & #2 – on my best days I am #2 but sometimes I listen to the voice of the enemy, hearing the lies, and not only hearing but choosing to believe that ‘it’s always like this’, making me miserable in the process. Seeing #2 reminds me of who I am and whose I am – doesn’t matter what anyone does or doesn’t do/say, I am a daughter of the most High King and He says I’m beloved and chosen – before the foundation of the world! Praying for you as you walk through the aftermath of the divorce. Would love a copy of the book.

  24. Jeanine on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    I feel like you wrote today’s post just for me, but realize so many are in the same situation. I’m starting the journey to find “me” again at the age of 50, newly separated after 33 years of marriage. It’s tough, it’s brutal, and it’s painful, but with Gods help the sun will shine again and I will find that girl that once was. Thank you for your words today! I feel like my feet are beginning to walk the right path.

    • Tracie on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 7:34 am

      Jeanine – we’re in the same boat. Being newly separated is like being dropped into a foreign land where you dont recognize anything and cant understand whats going on around you. My heart goes out to you. It takes time to figure out this new land and all the emotions and fears that come along with it, but God never leaves us. It feels like He isnt seeing our pain, but He does. Praying God fills your heart with peace and calm and that you are constantly reminded of your value. The sun will shine again. 🙂

  25. Leslie M. on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    Thank you….just this week I had to choose who to believe – what 2 different people were saying about me (one a friend of a friend, one my own brother!) versus what GOD says about me. I know God and I know God knows me – thankfully I made the choice to believe HIM and ONLY HIM in both these instances! But to know I’m not alone….helps a lot!

  26. Jessica Dann on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    Would love to read this…

  27. Erin on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    I love the message of this book. Thank you for your words to choose me! I always tell my kids about positive self talk– this is a good reminder for me too!

  28. Doris on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    Your blog post for today certainly applys to me!! I’m trying to find myself & the future hope promised in Jeremiah 29. I would love to have a copy of this book. by Mrs. Hurst Enjoyed your book,Unsinkable Faith, so much!

  29. Jennifer on Friday, August 25, 2017 at 11:55 pm

    I’m living this now. My past mistakes have caused a gaping hole in my marriage. I’m trying to fill it with Christ, while my husband is struggling to move forward and leave the past where it belongs. Choice #1 has been a part of me as far back as I can remember. I work on choosing choice #2 DAILY. God bless you for this post. And I can’t wait to dive into Crystal’s book with P31 OBS.

  30. Sahron on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 12:02 am

    Would really like to learn to like the woman I see in the mirror, as well as learn to have positive thoughts and self-talk. The negativity is eating away at me.

  31. Melanie Davis Porter on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 12:32 am

    This post was for me today Tracie. Gosh – I don’t know where “me” has gone in this season of deep grief. I don’t know how to pull myself out of this – I’ve always clung to God in hard times – but this is a season unlike I’ve ever experienced. Thank you breathing some hope – some days all I manage to do is just whisper Jesus’ name and listen to sermons online. I just want to be years away from where I am at in life now. I know God hasn’t abandoned me – just some really hard days with harsh realities.

    • Tracie on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 7:31 am

      Praying for your Melanie. I remember saying that same thing last summer to a friend – “I wish it could just be this time next year so I could be far from this pain and have dealt with hard stuff and be in a better place.” It has been a year now since then, and life still has challenges and heartbreak and confusion, but I stand in awe of how God has helped me and my children get through this hard season, and how He is slowly but surely healing my heart and helping me rediscover myself and who I want to be. Just remember God will never leave you and you can get through this. If all you can do is whisper Jesus, that’s okay. He hears.

  32. Michelle T. on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 4:01 am

    For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a sense that I’m not good enough. I know what God says about me, and I believe it to be true, but I still struggle with feelings that I don’t measure up. The enemy seems to work overtime on me.

    Thank you for the chance to win!

  33. Jolene on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 5:21 am

    Who ya gonna believe: someone else, or God? It breaks my heart to hear my husband berate himself and use such negative and belittling names. I need God’s wisdom to know when to interrupt and what words of encouragement to share.

    Your kind and heartfelt words in this blog and ‘When You Realize You’re Bleeding, Get Some Help’ are just what I needed to hear… and God knew it. I’m so glad you listened to His prompts. Thank you. Now it’s my turn to be responsive to His guidance.

  34. Marcia Neal on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 7:06 am

    What an empowering devotion! How I wish I’d had this book years ago when I went through a traumatic divorce & depression! I’m going to share this & I know you will be helping so many struggling women. Thank you!

  35. Nikki Wise on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 7:25 am

    This is something that I continue to struggle with. Every time I think I have gained victory I find myself right back to a place of feeling defeated. I am determined to draw on God’s strength and walk in what He has planned for me. I am in a season of no distractions and just being still and listening! I think this book is perfect for this season I’m in. Thank you for all of your wonderful posts and for being obedient in your calling.

  36. Marik on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 9:30 am

    Rejection stings always, but it hurts the most when it comes from the people whom we trust the most, before whom we let our guard down completely. And sometimes in addition to getting over it we also need to come up with a wise solution how to fix such situation ( for example if this harshness or rejection comes from a family member and technically we should still retain a relationship with them. In case rejection comes from a spouse or significant other, as you mentioned in your blog, we have to find strength in ourselves to forgive that person but also to rebuild our lives from ashes and try to learn and enjoy our new lives without them instead of dwelling on the pain that was caused to us. I think it’s quite hard to totally heal from and not bring any past “baggage” into our future relationship. Learning to find your old self (prior to all the pain and life glitches) is an exciting but at the same time challenging endeavor.

  37. Ann on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    I looking forward to this book & study! I feel like I have lost myself along the way

  38. Cass on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    If I would talk the way I talk to myself to other people, I would be ashamed. This book would help me to choose to look to God and also relieze that it is important how we talk to ourselves.

  39. Pat on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    I’ve live with a lot of verbal abuse from my husband. My weight, the way I cook, keep house, talk, etc. When I tell him I don’t appreciated the way he is talking to me he says he is just joking which I know he isn’t. I’ve started telling my self I am a good person, I am loved, I am accepted, etc. It helps until he starts again. It hurts and makes me sad and depressed. I try to stay true to who I am but it is very hard. I would love to have the opportunity read your book.

  40. Jeanne on Saturday, August 26, 2017 at 11:58 pm

    “The old me — who felt comfortable in her own skin…” That would be back in third grade.
    It seems I attract people who mistreat me. Most of my life I have felt unaccepted, sometimes by some of those most important in my life.
    I’ve been clinging to uplifting scriptures in the effort to counter the lies. “Hearken to me, you who know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my law; fear not the reproach of men, and be not dismayed at their revilings.” – Isaiah 51:7 Without God, I would have no hope.

  41. Anissa on Sunday, August 27, 2017 at 1:47 am

    I would love a copy of your book. I’ve always been an outsider. Never included.

  42. Lisa on Monday, August 28, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    Thank you Tracie for your excellent reminder to listen to God’s voice and not the ones that want to bring you down. I too, went through a divorce which was years ago. I did re-marry as God blessed me with a wonderful man that is so good to me and my children. I still feel the sting of rejection when being around people from my past due to my first marriage. I needed this devotion. ~Lisa~

  43. Tracey on Tuesday, August 29, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    I have never been married but struggle consistently with how I feel about myself. I give others way too much power over who I am to the point of going into a depression over it. It has been a struggle for years and I have learned that I need to focus on God rather than people to fill that need. Easier said than done but I am constantly a work in progress. Thank you for your honesty and sharing yourself with us.

  44. shannon Kittle on Wednesday, August 30, 2017 at 9:38 am

    This blog post hit home with me for sure. Recently my counselor has explained to me that past traumas and hurts are holding me back. She has recommended some treatment for me to help uncover the pains inflicted and to help me deal with those in a healthy manner, so that i can find the freedom to feel worthy and to feel loved and not hold myself back from all God has for me. I am my own worst enemy and I have given Satan to much control for way to long. I want to find my joy. I want to life to the fullest and I want to not always find myself defeated before I start. I want to trust God completely. I thought I did, but now know the truth is I don’t allow myself to do so. This was defeating too. Pay that I find my way back to that Jesus loving girl I long to be.

  45. Brenda on Thursday, August 31, 2017 at 8:25 pm

    I too would love to find myself. I sat at work and keep going over and over every hurtful remark and action love ones said or did. I don’t know myself anymore. I think back 50 odd years and wonder where that person is that I once was. I am now 70.

  46. Jessica Orika on Monday, September 4, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    This article is beautiful. It really blessed me. Thanks for sharing.

  47. Nancy S on Monday, September 18, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    Words spoken to me as a child caused me to survive and not dare dream-I often feel like I was never “there”. Looking forward to reading this book-I just began reading it and want to take my time with each Chapter and Section.

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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.


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