Today we are going to focus on the act of providing… not financial provision, but intangible provisions from a wife to a husband. You know, those heartfelt and priceless gifts that make our husbands feel loved and appreciated. So the word ‘provide’ for today’s purposes focuses on providing for the heart, not for the home.
But let’s take a brief interlude here, and express what you all might be thinking right about now, after a week of focusing on our husband’s needs …. “But… but… but… what about me? What about my needs? What about my feelings? What about my desires? Why is it all about me changing, and nothing about him changing? What about his faults? What about the problems that he hasfff brought into our relationship, or the hurt he has caused me?”
I understand! I have to keep trying to push those feelings aside too sometimes. My mind is too often guilty of drifting back to negative thoughts, reviewing my mental lists of my husband’s faults and mistakes, and thinking of ways that he needs to change, which void out my desire to “provide”.
Maybe you struggle with these thoughts too at times, so it’s important to acknowledge that we all have them, and that doesn’t make us a bad wife. That makes us human. In fact, if we didn’t have some self focused tendencies, and have some past hurts and emotions bubble up, we would not be normal.
And that is exactly why God’s Word says to love and respect unconditionally. We can easily make our love conditional, especially if heartache and bad memories outweigh our desire to dote on our husband. “Conditions” will always exist in any relationship, and we have to choose to toss them aside if we really want to love others with the love of Christ.
But frankly, that can be a real challenge in any relationship – especially in marriage.
Day after day of the same aggravating habits can take a toll on a relationship. Extreme betrayal and hurt feelings can take a toll on a relationship. Unforgiveness and anger can take a toll on a relationship. Filling our minds with critical thoughts all day takes a toll on a relationship.
And putting conditions on our love takes a toll on a relationship.
“Conditions” can construct a barrier so thick between us and our husbands, that we forget what our husbands really need from us. We not only lose the desire to praise him, but we may forget how. And husbands need praise. We neglect their need for physical intimacy because we’re not in the mood or we’re mad. And men need intimacy. We only agree to respect him based on performance alone, but men need respect all the time. We refuse to do little loving things because they are not being done for us, but many men have the love language of acts of service and they see those acts as pure love.
Author and speaker Beth Moore once said that “the answers God gives us in our tomorrows often flow from our faithful todays.”
No matter what is going on in your marriage today, you can make strides to work towards positive tomorrows. We can’t control our husband’s heart, but we can control our own. And we do have the power to change our attitude and our heart by focusing on the biblical truth that God has placed us wives in the position of being a provider for the emotional and physical needs of our husbands.
With each new day, a refreshed, positive attitude is always within reach. With God’s help, we can maintain the motivation to provide those little things that only we can give to our husbands.
I’ve always been told it’s better to give than to receive. When we sacrificially give in the way of providing for our husbands needs, what we receive in return may be sweeter than any gift bought at a store. Our willingness to “provide” today just might open the door for our husbands to want to “provide” for our little needs tomorrow. ‘Tomorrow’ being a literal term, of course, but let’s give it a try.
DAY 4 CHALLENGE: PROVIDE
Think of some little ways that you can show love for your husband and provide for his need of wanting to be taken care of and doted on.
One of the favorite ways my husband likes to be ‘provided’ for (no, its not what you are thinking, but we’ll get to that later!) is making him breakfast on Saturday morning… .not just a warmed up chocolate pop-tart – but a big ham and cheese omelet, grits, country ham, toast and anything else that would fall into the category of a down home southern breakfast. It always makes him smile, and it makes me smile too. It’s just a little thing – but an act of love nonetheless, since I’d much rather sleep late and stay under my warm covers. It’s just a small way that I can provide for a physical need, and an emotional one, all at one time.
Think of at least one new way (or an old way that’s been forgotten) that you can bring a smile to your husband’s face when he walks in the door after a long day at work, or when he wakes up on a lazy Saturday morning. Just one way to surprise him with the gift of provision.
Consider things that you know are important to him, and make an effort to do some of those today and in the coming weeks,, especially if you have gotten out of the habit of doing that special thing. Ponder some ways that you can bless him, without feeling the need to be thanked for it, and without putting conditions on whether or not its deserved, or even appreciated.
If you have a hard time thinking of something, try to be aware of subtle hints that he may give of what he likes and desires, especially if he is not the kind of man that shares his needs and feelings openly. Sometimes their basic or most common complaints can be clues to what their heart really longs for.
TODAY’S GIVEAWAY:
Lysa TerKeurst, president of Proverbs 31 Ministries, wrote this practical guide a few years ago which helps each spouse open their eyes to the needs, desires, and longings of the other. She offers eight essential criteria for capturing the heart of your spouse, with creative tips on how to accomplish them. Having a great marriage takes time, creativity, and willingness.
To enter to win a copy of her book Capture His Heart, leave a comment stating one special way that you can provide for your husband’s needs this weekend.
It may seem like a little thing, but it could be a big thing in the bigger picture of your relationship. It’s often the little things that matter the most, and have the biggest impact.
Randomly drawn winner will be announced on Monday, March 18th.
(Her accompanying book for husbands is called Capture Her Heart and is available on the Proverbs 31 website.)
May husband loves to go to auctions. I will go and go with a smile.
I love this challenge. However, my husband is gone for weeks or even months at a time with his job. I’m curious, how do I do any of this when he is so far away. We have a phone relationship 5-6mos out of the year. It is so easy to offer up love and praise when he is away. But I can’t do the little things. And no intimacy for such long periods of time–I worry about him. Though I try to pray for God to guard his heart and mind. He is not saved, but he supports me in my faith. Any advice or words of wisdom?
Rebecca…. When my Hubby what go away for work Trips I would always do different cards for different days while he was gone they would each be dated. I would stick them between his shirts and his pants In his suitcase. I’ve gone to Christian bookstores and purchase little Encouragement cards they’re about the size of business cards and I stick those in different areas as well. I put him in his lunch box too.
Rebecca – I completely understand your question, and I can somewhat relate because for the past year my husband has had a job which requires him to be gone Monday thru Friday every week. So at least we do have our weekends together (except during my speaking season!) and vacations, but it still puts a challenge on staying close and practicing good marriage habits. I try to make the most of our weekends together, as Im sure you do when your husband is home. We can only do so much when the husbands are traveling, but keeping the marriage strong becomes an even bigger priority.
Maybe while your husband is away, you can spend time thinking about little things that would make him smile, and then make an effort to go overboard during the times when you are together. It will probably blow his socks off and keep him fueled while you are apart! Also maybe you can consider a new way to reach him while he is away, like love letters, emails, skyping, gifts in the mail, a surprise visit, etc. The intimacy is certainly a valid concern, so all you can do is pray for both of you to be protected from temptation and for God to continue helping your husband see his need for Him so that his heart will keep him on the right path.
I came across this article the other day that you might enjoy. It’s about dealing with marriage and emotions if we are married to traveling husbands, from the womenlivingwell blog. Here is the link: https://tinyurl.com/arpfq5r . Thank you for participating in this challenge!
Rebecca,
My husband is gone about the same amount of time as yours with work. One thing I do is help him pack and stuff love notes in everything! Pockets, folded into socks, buried into his work papers etc. He loves it and will call and say “Guess what I found?” I have also used a laundry pen and left notes in the bands of underwear, t-shirts and the toes of his socks! Now those are awesome cause the stay with him and he sees them daily. I mail him care packages too! That takes planning because he doesn’t stay in one place too long but the hotels are always happy to help out when I call them. The last thing we have started doing together the last few years is praying together at bedtime even when he is gone, I think that one thing has strengthened our marriage more because it keeps God at the top where he should be, for both of us. Just some ideas! Get those creative juices flowing, you can make him smile, I know you can!
My husband likes to go for drives.. with the price of gas.. we haven’t done as much of that lately. I’ll suggest it this weekend!
My husband loves for me to be by his side in whatever he is doing. I should be thankful huh? I’m going to make a point to hang out with him more doing whatever he is doing. Laundry and dishes can wait. I want him to know he IS important to me!
My husband loves to play hockey so I will provide for him by cheering him on at his pickup game early sunday morning before church instead of sleeping in and meeting him at church. Thanks for your wisdom and practical advise for marriages.
Thank you for the perspective post yesterday & this one today. My husband loves a cup of coffee first thing in the morning so I will make it as I am up earlier than he is. He also loves to go on bike rides so I encourage him to find the time for that.
My husband loves to tell me about his work and what is going on in his life. I intend to be more attentive to him this weekend in this manner. Plan on giving him the attention he deserves.
My husband liikes to in the yard together, so I will be by his side working and listening to him share his heart and vision for us
My husband is a BIG sweets eater. So I will bake him some homemade goodies this weekend and let him have all of it. He won’t have to share with me or the kids for once!
My husband also loves a big Saturday breakfast! He likes waffles, eggs and bacon. He also mentioned he needs more Burt’s bees chap stick which he keeps everywhere. I must remember to pick some up.
All great thoughtful suggestions that will delight husbands in a special way! Keep em coming!
We have a love note mailbox that we made and just this week I have put 2 notes in it for him. It is a lot of fun to exchange noes, cards, or small gifts through the mailbox. We keep it on our kitchen counter so it’s easily seen.
My husband LOVES to have his back scratched and after many, many years of this (yesterday was our 15th wedding anniversary) it is not something I particularly care to do frequently but tonight I will watch the Fox News line up with him and with joy in my heart scratch his back. Especially since he has been suffering from a bad cold.
Thank you so much Tracie for your 14 day challenge!
I love today’s challenge, because it made me realize that I have gotten out of tha habit of doing it. So much so, that while reading I could not think of one single thing to do, then you shared your Saturday breakfast story it reminded me of the MANY times my husband teasingly asks me almost every Saturday morning “so what’s for breakfast”? And the times when I have fixed breakfast and how happy it made him. So, I guess you know what I am doing tomorrow morning. Thanks Tracie, for doing this it has been a great reminder for me. I have to take a minute to share how I ended up doing this challenge. Sunday at church one the young ladies came to me and told me that she was going to do the challenge and wanted me to pray for her to be able to do it because she knew it would make a huge difference in her marriage. When I got home I decided to check it out and felt like I too needed to do it, not because my marriage is shaky or anything, but because it never hurts to refresh it!
My husband and I recently found out our son has Asperger’s and he is struggling. He wants to learn about it and talk about it (and I actually worked with kids with autism for years, so I already know), but I will listen. I will talk things over and help him learn gently, without sounding like a know-it-all. And I will give in to some areas of trying to “fix” it, because they are important to him right now.
This weekend I’ll make the conscious decision to show my husband that I do care about his needs. We plan on working on the yard this weekend, usually he works on the garage while I work on the yard. So I will make the decision to help him with the garage (because sometimes he could use the help), instead of secluding myself to the garden, when I have all week to work on the garden.
I will bring my husband coffee to bed in the mornings. He enjoys having his coffee while catching up on the news before he starts his day.
It’s so easy to take little things for granted and how much they mean to each other. I will make an effort each day to give my husband a kiss and a hug as soon as one of us walks through the door.
My heart’s desire truly is to meet my husband’s needs. He works so hard every single day and when he comes home he still takes time for me. My heart goes out to the women who are so faithful to touch their husband’s heart, even when they are feeling so empty inside. Our Lord and saviour is interceding for us always! Never give up! This weekend I will do as I always do: I will follow his lead. Sometimes he wants to go dancing. Sometimes he just wants to stay home and watch a movie. Sometimes he wants me to decide. Then I will think of the best thing I can to help him relax and rest up for the upcoming week. My husband loves little projects. Maybe we will paint a rock! He loves creativity!
I will let my husband sleep in tomorrow!
By being sensitive to his needs spiritualy, physically, intimately and through a gentle,submissive spirit he will know that you are doing your part,and it will automatically make him strive to be the man God made him to be for you..thus,capturing his heart…it works ladies…
Definitively coffee before he goes to work. His schedule at work changes a lot, therefore, most of the times he is not off on weekends. Today I had trouble sleeping, i finally woke up at 3 am and since he was going today at 6am, I prepared him his morning coffee. Boys stayed with grandma ( they are in spring break) so we had a good talked, not worrying about waking up the kiddos. He leaved to work happy and I went to gym restless but happy too.
Let him go fishing without complaining
We have this Friday and Saturday for just us since our daughter is away, so I will be open to going out to hear music tonight or to stay in and watch a DVD (neither are things are particularly enjoy). I was just thinking of my evening meal, so after reading this, I am going to make him his favorite pork with plum sauce meal. I have enjoyed the daily challenges from Tracie, but I also feel like satan has wanted to attack me a bit more this week, too, on exactly what I just read and determined to do.
My husband loves to watch espn, especially on the weekends. I will watch with him without complaint!
I will try my best not to complain about things to him. He hates that and it just makes me feel better sometimes so I will try my best not to .
This is awesome! I’m loving this challenge every day! I’m planning having a dinner plan in place every day for the next week…and possibly even have it ready for him when he gets home 🙂 ESPECIALLY lunch after he preaches Sunday morning! Now that I think about it, it lowers the stress level when he doesn’t have to wonder what’s for dinner and he can come home, relax…and play with our baby girl!
My husband loves when I cook an Italian meal for him. I will make him his favorite tomorrow.
I will show my husband this weekend my love and devotion to him by cleaning our home, having a home cooked meal tonight and not complain about anything he says/does this weekend. Pleasing him can be a task because he is very critical. He loves for me to cook for him and fill our home with delicious smells. This weekend is a perfect opportunity to provide that. Thank you for this devotion and challenge to strengthen my marriage.
I am smiling so big at all your comments! There is going to be a happy-husband trend flooding across our country this weekend! I especially love the comments about not complaining when our husbands do something they enjoy doing, but that we often resent – what a little thing, that could have huge impact. Sometimes silence is a golden little gift we can easily give. Tracie
I will go buy him the Duck Dynasty t-shirt he has been wanting!
Thank you for this marriage challenge! There are a lot o f things mentioned that I don’t think about on a daily basis because I am too busy concentrating on the kids or myself. My husband is gone a lot due to work so this weekend when I’m packing his bag I’m going to slip a little love note, just to remind him of all the reasons why I love and am “in love” with him!
I will provide for my husband by meeting his need for conversation and his desire to come home and relax without hearing me complain. He likes the comfort of an orderly, clean home. So despite my desire to come home and chill out I will focus my attention on setting the atmosphere that will be conducive to his relaxation. I must admit that it will be a challenge, but I am up for it :-).
I will try to just sit with my husband this weekend. I am always busy doing everything. He so often says to me can’t you just stop and sit with me for a minute. I will do this for him this weekend!
My husband is coming home from a trip out west and I will make him breakfast tomorrow morning…a big hearty breakfast before he goes off for the day to fish (something I will suggest he do with our son). He LOVES a good breakfast and I know I fail him most of the time on Saturdays because I like to sleep.
I will start making my husbands lunches for work again. I stopped because I feel like I have too many other people to take care of, but I want to put him first, and I know how much he appreciates it!
Cooking dinner and a sexy back massage for hubs this weekend! I love being able to give back- he gives me so much.
i will try my hardest, to sit by his side watching the sports channel here in australia. its going to be hard because i have a new born, but im gonna try!
My husband likes to spend time together but his main love language is physical touch. I have gotten out of the habit of just kissing him or hugging him. I am trying to do that more often now. We are headed to the zoo today with the kids. I will make sure to hold his hand and let him know how much I appreciate him and what he does for our family.
Ok, so for some reason this is a hard one for me. I really enjoy doing little things for my husband and my children. My frustration comes in that I feel that he doesn’t care or appreciate or even notice them. I feel sometimes that they are expected from him. I don’t think that I really wanted to be thanked for them, but some sort of feedback would help me see that he cares. Sometimes, there have even been words of criticism when I have done it. It is to the point that I just don’t do them anymore. Your comments about intimacy hit home with me for sure. It is most definetly a bone of contention in our marriage. I feel like that he doesn’t want or care about the little things, just intimacy. Frankly, I feel like everytime the wind blows, he feels like he is owed my intimacy. So, again, thank you for this challenge and putting me out of my comfort zone. I will start doing the little things again without expecting a ‘thank you”. A specific, is a home made blueberry pie…his favorite. My pryaer is that he will be receptive to them.
Because my husband is a school bus driver part time (he is retired from his prior job of 28 years), he’s frequently frustrated over the difficulty he has getting healthy food while on the road with kids who want to eat nothing but McDonalds, Wendys, Taco Bell, et cetera. He has an earlier than usual out tomorrow (about 11:30) and will be gone until late in the evening. I’ll pack him two healthy meals to go with lots of liquid as well so that while the kids are dining on fast food, he can enjoy his slow food.
Well…we’ve been apart for a couple weeks and he gets home this weekend, so I’m planning on providing a lot of loving this weekend. 🙂
Seriously. He is responding so well to just the slightest difference in how I am treating him. I could just kick myself for not getting this sooner. I knew God wanted me to do this, but my stubborn heart wouldn’t stop being proud.
He’s a good man and I’m so thankful to God for him. Can’t wait to see him!
I can cook for him and do his laundry.
For me it is always so easy to take the little things for granted like, having my husband come home everyday, how helpful he is with our daughter, how he rarely complains and so on so with God’s help and the reminders of this great marriage challenge I plan to show and tell him about my appreciation for him and what he all does for us. Thank you Tracie for taking the time to challenge us all…like you said, there will be many happy husbands this weekend!!
If I may, I wanted to add some words of encouragement for the ladies that still have children at home…
Hang in there! God’s little blessings, as much as we love them, can be energy & patience suckers, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and it comes way faster than you ever can imagine. As a new empty-nester I will tell you, doing something like the 14 day challenge when my kids were still at home would have made made everyone’s life in our household much better.
While I desperately miss my kids now, it is exciting and fun to be re-newlyweds with my hubby. Your time is coming, it’s worth it. Hang in there. Peace.
I will not complain about all the time he spends fishing this week.
My husband and I don’t see each other all week due to different work schedules so we try to make the most of our weekends together. He is wonderful about spending quality time together and I sometimes worry too much about things needing to get done around the house. This weekend I am going to make my husband the priority instead of the house! He is SO much more important. Thanks for the reminder!
I have been dragging the last month. I have had a cough and cold and the antibiotics I am taking are not helping. I looked in my grocery $ envelope this morning and there is money in it!!! That surprised me since I am paid tomorrow and at this point the envelope is usually empty. I know I haven’t shopped and prepared meals like normal. Today, I am going to get up enough energy to stop by the butcher shop today and buy steaks for my husband. I can grill the steaks and steam a vegetable and really make him happy!!
I am going to make him breakfast in bed.
Saturday night”it”will be my idea instead of his. He will think something is wrong with me it’s been that long.
Something that I started at the beginning of the year (my new year’s resolution, if you will), though honestly I haven’t been consistent at this, is to do one kind thing for my husband, intentionally, each day. Even if its as small as setting the coffee pot for him for the next morning, or getting his work clothes ready for him while he showers…..it just makes him feel like I’m going out of my way to take care of him. Sometimes the littlest things make the biggest impression!
I’ll make his favorite dish for dinner tonight and watch his favorite show with him.
Normally by the time my hubby comes home I am tired and need a break from kiddos. Sometimes this causes him not tobbe able to relax when he comes home and even though I feel I need the break more I could be more aware of this and help him to be able to relax while spending time with us. This will definitely bea challenge.
I WILL MAKE HIM A BIG SPECIAL BREAKFAST WITH HIS FAVORITE BREAKFAST
FOODS. AND THANKS TRACIE, THIS POST WAS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TODAY!!
This would be a good weekend to let him plan the weekend because so many times I seem to over shawdow the few things he would like to do with all the “NEED” to get done items. Some of which can just wait!
I will make time in our busy schedule to be away from my list of to do things and just spend time with him, whether it might be to talk with him or make a dessert and share it with him.
This weekend he is going out of town for a week so I will leave notes in his luggage so he can find them while he is away. We have been doing the “little things” for over 25 years now and I can tell you it really works! Love your studies!
Sharon Pfrang
This is so neat that this is todays subject. We are the type that still have the “flip” cell phone, we haven’t graduated to the smart phone yet. About two years ago, we finally got texting on our phones. When we first got it, my husband and I texted each other all the time…I mean half-a-dozen at the least per day….things like “I love you” “Ditto”, “Luv U More”, “Miss U”, etc, but as the weeks, and months went by, it dwindled. After starting the challenge on Day 2, I began to be really changed by Tracie’s words. Yesterday, I started texting my hubby again. And I know that he loves that, to be reminded that I am thinking of him, even when during a stressful work day. So I will continue to send these little texts….I think I’ll even send him a text when we are both at home and I am on the other end of the house. Not to mention, after over 6 months, we are having a date night….just the two of us on Saturday! God Blesses us in so many ways..Amen!
We aren’t living together right now and he’s told me he no longer wants to be intimate with me, in fact doesn’t want me. His love language is words of encouragement. Tonight I will write him an encouraging love note on a postcard and mail it on Saturday.
My husband needs praise and to be listened to. He does like to talk about his ideas, but with 5 kids all running around trying to get my attention I often get distracted. I will be intent on giving him praise for his hard work at his new job, and to listen to his ideas about life. I do get frustrated because he doesn’t share anything emotional, but if he is sharing at all I need to listen.
Really take the time to listen to my husband. With 3 little girls running around, sometimes it is easy to not really listen
This weekend I will cook him his favorite meal as I tend to always do as I know what he enjoys to eat. But, every evening when he comes in from a long day at work, I let him sit down and I fix his plate for him as usually we have already eaten by the late hours he gets home. I also fix his lunch for the next day and have it laid out where he will know it is. I also have his work shirt washed, dried, and folded for the next day and let him know where it is. I cater to him at night as I know he has worked a hard day at work to provide for the family and I keep his items in order so that he doesn’t have to remember them or so that he can sleep a little extra in the mornings as he is exceptionally tired from 12 hour days. Even though I wonder when me-time comes, I know that this is important during the week to help him be the best provider he can be for us.
I will be making his favorite dinner over the weekend. 🙂
Today and this weekend I will be sure to touch him more. Too often I find that at the end of the day I’ll realize we hadn’t even kissed or hugged AT ALL that day. That’s sad. I am naturally a more affectionate person than he but maybe after several days of gentle hugs, a pat on the back, a squeeze of his hand he’ll return the sweet gestures.
My husband really appreciates a reasonably clean house. It’s really something fairly simple that I can do and it helps him relax.
I’m going to make him breakfast in bed! I’m going to try to make it a Saturday habit. He provides for his family a 40+ hour work week! I stay home, so the least I can do is make him a good Saturday morning breakfast EVERY week to say thank you for working so hard for our family! And also try to give him more back rubs because physical touch is his love language!
First, I’ve been praying and will continue to pray for my husband to grow in trusting faith along with me. Second, he loves those fountain drinks from Chick-Fil-A. You know the extra large ones that hardly fit in your cup holder? His mom spoiled him by taking him one any chance she got but she has been out of comission from an injury for the last 6 months. I usually feel too rushed to stop by his work because I’m so busy driving taxi for the kids and his mom (plus, to be completely honest… I’ve often though that he doesn’t do the same for me on his days off when I’m working so why should I keep going out of my way for him? Now, time to put that thought away!) but today when I leave work, I’m going to take a few extra minutes to swing by and drop off a drink for him at work. Thanks for the inspiration and courage to face the fact that I don’t do all that I could. The kids can sit in car rider line for a few extra minutes, it’s a pretty day!
I will help with yard work!
I’m a talker, which is wonderful, but sometimes I know he just wants to be with me. Just BE. So if he wants to go fishing (which he loves) or for a walk, I’m going to resist my natural urge to yack and dissect everything I see/feel and just let him enjoy his activity…with a happy, loving me.
I will let him do what he wants to do without grumbling and suggest we do something he wants to do with a smile
He works hard around the house, I will tell him how much I appreciate all that he does rather than taking it all for granted. Give him a hand to relieve some of the stress.
i can provide for my husbands needs this weekend by spending valueable time with thim. our weekends are always packed full of actvivites with rehearsals for both of us, ministry obligations for him and studying for me(final exams this weekend). But he has ask for us to go to a late movie tonight which i will oblige because it is something he likes to do and will allow some us time
My husband wants me to drive with him to work on Monday so he can use the carpool lane, it’s my only day off. I will go with him and smile the whole way!
I will help my husband clean out his trailer that he uses his race car tomorrow. Not my favorite job…but it’ll allow us to spend some more time together…and show an interest and support in his hobby.
I will try to sit and relax with my husband this weekend instead of feeling the need to constantly ask him to get things done on his to do list. I will try and not nag him and just let him enjoy his time off!!
I can actively listen to him talk about home improvement projects and go with early in the morning to pick up the necessary materials for the job!
Breakfast to go and a love note , he works Saturday! I make his breakfast every day and lunch, however I’ll make him something I wouldn’t normally make for him to take, ex pancakes and I’ll make him a card
I desperately needed every single one of these words today. I was planning on sitting down with my husband to talk about something he’s doing that’s really tearing at my heart. I’ve just been praying whether or not I should, if he’s going to feel confronted and defensive. If I do then I’m afraid anything I do to provide for him might not help. I think I might just wait and pray it out. He’s playing in a basketball tournament this weekend and I am going to prepare some healthy, filling meals to give him the strength he needs for each day. I plan to go and support him while he is out there playing, even though I could stay home and get other things accomplished. I know what’s more important to him and I am giving myself and my time to him because of my love for him.
My husband is constantly vying for my complete attention. With a 5 year old and a very active 21 month old, this sometimes proves difficult. He thinks that if I am looking at what they are doing, I am still listening to what he is saying but not necessarily processing what he is saying. Obviously, sometimes he is right, but most of the time, I really am paying attention to what he is saying. It will be my goal this weekend, when he is speaking, to give him my utmost attention, and try to ignore what the kids are getting into, or the potential mess they are making. It is my goal, to let my OCD be a bystander to my relationship with my husband 😉 I would love to make him feel more important than I necessarily have in the past.
My husband likes it when the clothes that need to be put away do not live in our bedroom, I wll get them all put away and keep them from living there In the future.
Ask him how his day was when he walks in the door and then listen intently to his response
One of the ways I can provide for my husband is to serve as his “wing man” — in aviator terms, it’s the guy who flies just off the wing of the main plane to protect it. Sometimes it falls to me to stand between my hubby and something else, be it a person, a distraction…whatever. Like this weekend I will do my best on Saturday morning to make sure he has the time — and quiet — he needs to finish preparing his message for Sunday. That might mean screening calls, visitors, or other demands on his time. I think a lot of us are married to men who find it hard to say “no”, and they end up pulled in all directions. Playing “wing man” is one way I can serve and help him.
I am going to be intentional to be waiting for my husband when he comes home from work on Saturday night. It is the one night of his work week that I am not working as well. He always calls me before he leaves work, so I will have a good 45-60 minute heads up that he is coming so I have no reason to not be prepared…besides, what good is all that stuff that is shoved in the bottom dresser drawer if I don’t get it out and wear it.
Haha, that made me giggle! I love it!
So, later Saturday night, my husband asks me how long I had been planning that. Haha! Then he tells me that he likes when I do that kind of stuff because then he knows that I am thinking about him during the day. Just served to drive home Tracie’s point from the other day about how they need to know we are thinking about them during the day.
Tell him I love him.
I will work with my husband on household fixer uppers
Show him how much I appreciate him, but telling him and thanking him for all he does for our home and our family.
I am going to make him his favorite meal this weekend. I will also give him a back rub because he has some back and neck pains due to his job.
WOW! I am so inspired by all the great posts. This weekend I will verbally acknowledge any gesture he does to help me. So often I gripe about what needs to be done or how I wish he would help more and more times than not I fail to recognize what he does for our family. I will also intentionally pray for him as a minister.
My husbands love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service! I will purposely be attentive to providing these love languages as an expression of my heart for my husband!
I will cook for my husband he loves a home cooked meal and I will not complain about him smoking.
My husband love a good omelet. I will buy peppers and add onions. Plus serve it on our good china.
My husband is working very hard remodeling our kitchen by himself. I will step back and change my attitude/stop bugging him on when certain parts of the project will be complete, and my annoying “do we REALLY need that tool!” I’m lucky i have a good do-it-your-selfer husband who enjoys hard work like this. I really do appreciate the money he is saving us,i know he would really appreciate my encouragement rather than my current attitude!
Im going to give him a foot rub without him asking for it.
I love today’s challenge, because it made me realize that I have gotten out of tha habit of doing it. So much so, that while reading I could not think of one single thing to do, then you shared your Saturday breakfast story it reminded me of the MANY times my husband teasingly asks me almost every Saturday morning “so what’s for breakfast”? And the times when I have fixed breakfast and how happy it made him. So, I guess you know what I am doing tomorrow morning. Thanks Tracie, for doing this it has been a great reminder for me. I have to take a minute to share how I ended up doing this challenge. Sunday at church one the young ladies came to me and told me that she was going to do the challenge and wanted me to pray for her to be able to do it because she knew it would make a huge difference in her marriage. When I got home I decided to check it out and felt like I too needed to do it, not because my marriage is shaky or anything, but because it never hurts to refresh it!
Tonight he’ll come home to a delicious meal preceeded by a hug and kiss. Then after dinner I will with a smile join him as he watches the basketball game and oh yeah, I won’t interrupt with talking. HAHA. Bet we all do that while they are so ingrossed.
I like to leave little encouraging notes in his lunchbox that let him know I’m thinking about him, or show an interest in a project that he’s been working on, or buy him some special chocolates or an item that I leave for him to find that let him know he’s loved, or suggest an outing that we both know is an area of interest for him rather than myself!!
This is a big weekend for my husband – he is getting ordained as a minister. I got him his favorite candy as a tangible way to show him I’m proud, but I plan to try to speak words of encouragement to him each day because we may be making a lot of changes (moving, new job, etc.) in the next few months and I want him to know I support him, even though it is going to be very hard for me to move away from my family.
I’ll show an interest in the free agent frenzy just because my hubby loves football. I’ll cuddle with him while he watches it on TV. I’ll find out what he wants to do when he’s off work this weekend. I’ll make biscuits & gravy just for him.
I will get in the “mix” – as he calls it. With two young children, one under the age of one, I don’t get a ton of sleep so “the mix” is far from my mind, but pretty much always on his. SO, this weekend, I will be intentional with initiating and focus on him.
TO me this is a oldie but goody- My husbands mother used to take his dad’s shoes off when he came home & I think he secretly would enjoy that time to time, so I will do this for him once in a while, starting today.
One way that I can provide for my husband is by doing something as simple as making sure laundry is done and the house is in order before he gets home from work. I stay home with the exception on the days I attend college but I have the time and need to make the time. My husband feels good when the house is clean. I could also be more attentive to maybe making him breakfast before he goes to work.
I just recently had neck surgery and am supposed to not do too much and he works away from home week one week then, home one week. He won’t arrive until Monday. What I am planning on doing is to get someone to help me pick up the paperwork in the office before he gets home. I can’t lift it yet but I can do a few things and have lunch ready when he walks in the door on Monday :).
My husband has been off of work since last June and I am unemployed as well, so we have to be creative with what we do. I am going to give him words of affirmation of how much I adore him and appreciate what he does around the house and taking care of my car, the physical touch he needs from me as his wife, the act of service by giving him his coffee in bed in the morning, and I purchased him a small gift of one of his favorites…a HONEY bun, because he is my honey. lol Thanks so much for your devotions. God bless you.
I can make sure to have the stuff for his work week lunches all ready Sunday and make him breakfast Saturday !
The way to his heart is always through his tummy !
My husband is working late many nights so I can have dinner waiting for him so he doesn’t have to make something when he gets home.
Lately my husband has been so stressed out these past couple weeks and just this morning his dad passed away. Before today the stress has taken a toll on our marriage, that’s the main reason I signed up on this blog. This and other devotions I have been reading is helping me, I cannot do much this weekend to bless my husband being that he is out of town dealing with the the circumstances. But I will video chat him and make sure I will bless him, just the way I speak to him in a more loving tone and when he gets back I will make sure I will take care of his needs the way a good and Godly wife is suppose to treat their man! Thank you so much not only for this but for Proverbs 31 Ministries it has truly been a blessing!!
I love to cook and make things for my husband to eat because he loves to eat! I enjoy making his breakfast and packing his lunch because I like to take care of him!
I know my husband’s live language is “quality time” with both of us working opposite schedules and raising two small kids it really take effort to set aside time devoted directly to each other. When I can set up the special moments for the two of us it really refuels his love tank and draws us closer together.
Letting him know how important he is to me with each blessing of another day together. Leaving a “Good Morning” love <3 note in his shaving kit.
We have a 6-month-old baby, and my husband has been wonderful to spend hours caring for him. Today he asked if he could have friends over this weekend. My first thought was, “No way! My parents are coming to town next weekend, and there’s so much to do!” However, I’ve realized his request was a way of telling me he needs time with his friends. Because of that, I agreed to the invitation. It’ll be a challenge for me, but it’ll be worth it to make my husband happy!
I’ve gotten into a bad habit of questioning/amending/challenging things my husband says or suggests. This weekend I’ll try to agree with him without putting my 2 cents in! I like the idea of cooking breakfast for him that requires more than a toaster, but we are moving so it will have to wait a couple weeks!
My husband loves notes of encouragement. He is working all weekend so I will slip a note into his lunch cooler before he leaves tomorrow morning.
My husband and I are separated right now but I will call him just to ask how he is. Let him know I’m thinking about him and care.
I left a message on his Facebook page about how much I love him. I know he likes things like that. Also a hug and kiss when he comes home is very much appreciated.
My hubby likes it when I pluck the stray hairs on his back and neck; and when I cut his hair. I will do these things for him (he’s been asking if he should get the tweezers for me!)
Tomorrow I’ll invite him to walk around the yard and talk about this year’s garden. He loves me to do this with him.
I often think i am doting and caring for my husband by cooking, doing his laundry, making him lunch, buying him treats or taking care of the kids and letting him sleep in. I know he’d prefer I be empathetic to his aches and pains of his work day, cuddle with him on the couch at night or in bed in the morning, or be more intimate. None of which are my love languages but I will try…
One way I used to surprise my husband that I have gotten out of the habit is writing him love notes. I would write a short little message to him on a napkin that I would faithfully put in his lunch pail as I packed his lunch every morning. I still continue packing his lunch daily, but several years ago I had quit writing the notes. Our marriage had taken an aweful turn and I wasn’t in the mood to be writing love notes then. Once we had restored our marriage I was out of the habit and now will only occasionally do it. I’m going to work extra hard so that he will have 5 love notes by the end of the week.
Definitely going to do breakfast for him sat! i am sure i will think of some other things i can do! Thx for this blog! looking forward to the next days!!
This weekend I am going to (pray) and try hard to keep my mouth shut about things I don’t need to say and try to be extra affectionate and encouraging.. show him in different ways how much he means to me and our family.
Cleaning house today, defrosting super-sale ribeyes for tonight, and since my sister and family are visiting tomorrow, planning quiet night with his choice of movie after they leave. He hates being around while house cleaning is going on, and as introverts, we both need quiet to recharge after big group activities.
I plan to bake the double chocolate cake that my husband has been dropping hints about this week. Can’t wait to see his smile when he sees it!
Attempt to make breakfast for him on Sat and let him sleep in. He is always cooking breakfast for him for us:)
My husband is a carpenter and loves when I take interest in the current project he is working on. This weekend I’ll ask to see it and have him take me there =D
I have two date nights scheduled to focus on him and remind him how we appreciate all he does for our big family of six! This is a big deal when you have 4 kids 4 and under.
Keeping myself un-busy, and just being in the moment. I could find a million things to keep me busy, but showing him he is important enough to have some un-done’s around the house, would mean a great deal to him.
My husband works a 24 hour shift today, but I will have breakfast and coffee waiting on him when he gets in. I’ve really slacked off on praising him lately, but he’ll know he’s the hottest man/best friend & provider/my rock after this weekend!
My husband is finishing up his last year in college. He passion is PR-Communication and Sports Broadcast. I do not share that same passion with him. Its even hard for me to admit it but I rarely read what he writes about teams he is required to report about or read internet posts he is required to update. I don’t even sit and watch a game with him…any game for that matter. I grew up in a 6 woman household with 1 brother and father. Sports wasn’t the most popular pick in our household. This weekend my husband has to go watch our University Team play in a baseball turnament…the longest sport in my opinion! I have desided that I will put aside my interests and join my husbadn in the stands and learn about what he enjoys and why. He is very good to me and joins me on things I enjoy and I don’t see why I can’t start doing that too!
I will let my husband sleep in while I cook breakfast for everyone (which he usually does).
I’m a newly wed and my husband and I have been struggling with revelations he made immediately after we said “I do.” The devotional today is very fitting as that I am really challenged with how to continue on loving him unconditionally despite the deep pain of his lack of unconditional love for me. I will be sure to tell him that I love him today, no matter how I am feeling about it.
One way I can provide for my husband is to have the house clutter free and clean. He loves coming in to a stress and clutter free home. He is a pastor so our home needs to be a place of rest and refuge. I work full time so it can be a struggle but I am working towards keeping our home a place of rest. Thank you
What a huge encouragement. A friend sent me a link to your blog on Tuesday. I had a real need to read it last night, and this post today has been a huge blessing to me. I appreciate the work you are doing & this challenge is EXACTLY what I needed… God is so good!
oh, i forgot to leave a way to provide for my hubs needs! oops! 🙂 well, he likes to stay in & watch movies — instead of going out (which is my preferrence). So, I’ll suggest a night-in with one of his favorite movies.
I picked him up a new pair of house shoes. He likes it when I randomly buy him gifts.
My husband loves watching UFC fights. He’s a big fan of the sport and faithfully follows its events on t.v. His excitement of a upcoming fight this weekend was very well conveyed a couple of days ago so I know he’s really looking forward to this one. He often tries to get me to watch with him but I can’t fanthom the brutalness of the sport. I see the sport as inhumane…lol Anyway, I will try to bond with him over a fight or two, or three or maybe four…Maybe I’ll watch the whole event and get into the habit of covering my eyes on those parts that I feel are tooooo brutal to watch…hehehe!
This is one of our biggest issues and the area that the devil continues to attack me. I feel like I give/do all the time, but it is never noticed. BUT, while I was reading this post I really became convicted about the way I was doing it. First, most of my giving has been the things I wish he would give (touch, verbal assurance, etc). God reminded me that this is not about me…it is about my husband. SO, I made a list of the things he loves. I am going to make a concerted effort to focus on those. The first will be a Starbucks card…he loves stopping by, so I will strategically hide one in his luggage for his next trip. Thank you so much for this challenge.
My dear man would love an evening foot massage. After a long week at work, we can sit together on the couch and I can massage his feet. He loves that.
Of course he will fall asleep and I will be able to watch what ever I want to on TV 🙂
My husband is in the army and he’s stationed in Germany. He’s been gone for three months already and were just waiting for some paperwork to get approved before our daughter and i can go. When he first left and i would constantly send him pictures of me and our daughter and he loved it. He always asked for more. But lately i haven’t been sending many if any at all. This week i will start sending more pictures daily for him and remind him how much we miss and love him!
My husband loves when I watch TV with him….I’m going to watch the mindless box with him!
My husband works 24 hour shifts then is off for 48 hours. He worked on valentines day and without him knowing I put a love note in his lunch bag till this day he still has the note in his lunch box. He works on Saturday so I will put another love note.
I will bake cookies for my husband and listen to him without being contrary.
I will bring him home some ice cream when I get off work tomorrow and maybe bake a ham for Sunday lunch. I will also thank him ( which I never do) for taking care of our kids on the weekends I have to work.
I’m going to make one of his favorite desserts for him.
My husband’s favorite meal is anything accompanied with grilled sausage. I’m going to smoke ribs and grill sausage for him this Sunday.
My husband loves to have his back rubbed. I will do that for him this weekend.
Send the kids to mom and give go on a date.
One of the best ways that my husband wants me to help him is by not spending money, specially when we don’t have it on things that are not needed or necessary. I can do that!!!
My husband wants me to be with him this weekend at his mother’s dinner. I will do that 🙂
My husband will still be traveling this weekend but comes home the following weekend for a 3 week stay. He’s been hinting at back rubs since where he is staying just has an awful futon for him to sleep on and then he’s on the plane for so long. I’ve kind of blown him off, not wanting to take the time to do it and have been being selfish. When he gets here next weekend, I’ll give him that back rub without expecting anything in return.
My husband has been working really hard at starting a new business during his spare time to provide for our family. I have found myself being more negative than I should in this situation, getting upset that he is spending so much time away from our family. This weekend, I will give him only kind words and words of encouragement so he knows that I love him and am proud of everything he does!
Tonight I made my husbands favorite dinner even though it’s not a favorite of mine, and I even picked up those ibc root beers that he loves <3
This weekend I plan to give more attention to holding his hand, rubbing his arm, etc. Showing small gestures of affection.
I actually have been struggling in doing loving gestures because my husband has no response to anything I do…I feel it has been so hard because I know our marriage is in trouble… But I plan on waking up tomorrow and making breakfast and and not shrinking into my room for the day and really try to just spend time with him no matter if its watching a basketball game or Yukon Men..lol.:)
My husband loves to go camping. It’s not really my cup of tea, bit I will suggest that we plan a trip soon.
I will clean the bathroom and kitchen sink up after he washes his hands from working on my vehicle, instead of nagging him to clean up after himself.
My husband and I have just had our second child in January. I think I’ve been so focused on the kids and being a stay-at-home mom, (this just recently) that I’ve forgotten to pay attention to my husband’s needs. So, I’m going to make it a point this week to wake up and have breakfast and coffee with him before work, even though I may have gotten up 4 or 5 times during the night to feed the baby while he slept, he needs to know how much I value our time togther. He’s our provider in so many ways, I hope he knows I can be his provider in my own ways.
I will tell him how much i appreciate his support for me returning to school to finish my degree
My husband rarely goes out. EVER. Tonight we took our oldest child to see The Great and Powerful Oz. It may have been a date with his wife AND daughter, but he loved every minute of it. My husband always wants me to make him Saturday morning breakfast. Something really yummy and he had mentioned never being able to make real oatmeal (not that instant junk lol) right. Maybe in the morning I will forgo my sleeping in and make him real oatmeal. I think he would really appreciate it.
One way to cherish my husband is to leave him “love notes” in the morning before he wakes up. He is so touched that he keeps them out to read over and over again. I’m getting ready to leave for a short visit….. so I’m going to leave him some surprise notes all over the house.
Tomorrow formula1 racing is on in melbourne,Australia. I will serve him with food, refreshments and sit and listen to his comments as he watches it on tv, like I used to when we dated. Before kids
I just finished doing Shaunti Feldhan’s Bible Study For Women Only and discovered how romantic my husband finds it for me to go do his “Stuff” with him so I’m off to Home Depot with him!
just read the email from Proverbs 31 and it took me to this site. i wanted to find out what book Traci read that changed her heart. I truely felt like i was reading my story and not hers. satan wants us to feel we are the only ones feeling this way. the bottom line is i had out of the blue made an oatmeal bake breckfastthis morin’. The article is true my husband so feels loved when i cook for him. my advice is to keep my mouth shut and if after a day if it still troubles me i should talk about then-then i will be able to talk about the facts and not the emotions.
A new golf store near our house is opening this weekend. I dont play so I know it would mean a lot to him for me to go with him.
I don’t really like to cook. So this weekend I will make my husband a special breakfast or dinner. He will love it!
My husband really enjoys family meals. We usually sit together for dinner, but we are rarely together at lunch. Today we all happen to be home, so I will make a “sit down lunch” and we will sit as a family for lunch today.
When we are out and about this weekend, I will make sure to hold onto his arm or hand and throw in some PDA for good measure. He’ll think I’m flirting. 🙂
My husband has been doing most of the cooking lately so I think I’ll try to most of it this weekend. He also sings in a quartet and I can help him gather his things to go out singing tomorrow.
I really want to pay attention to these things: not forget to thank my husband for all he does for us. Do not forget to kiss him when I go to work. Always meet him from work, when dinner is ready.
It seems simple, but I know it`s very important for him.
This weekend when I’m making lunch for our children, ill offer to make by husband something too. I usually expect him to fend for himself because he’s a fully capable adult, but I know he’ll appreciate the gesture of being taken care of if I offer to make him something.
I let my husband sleep in this morning, he needed rest and works hard during the week. Usually I will let our 2 1/2 year old come in and lay down with us when she wakes up, but instead she and I curled up on the couch watching cartoons and let him sleep in 🙂
This weekend I can make something special for my husband to eat. I can also assist him at a task without being asked, and without complaining. I will also leave him a special note that he can find in the morning 🙂
I let my husband sleep in this morning because he drove us home from vacation late last night. I also try to make his lunch everyday, and finish the laundry that he starts but seems to forget about 🙂
Thank you for your perspective and keeping me focused on the positive. I tend to let negativity overwhelm my thoughts and that does not help our relationship
Thank you for your perspective and keeping me focused on the positive. I tend to let negativity overwhelm my thoughts and that does not help our relationship. I will get him his favorite coffee as a special treat and remind him how special he is to me!
This fits so nicely with my Lenten challenge – to stop saying and thinking negative things about my husband! (That’s not always easy!) I have noticed a change in how I feel about him since Lent started, though. I know my husband’s love language is acts of service, and he likes it when the house is picked up. It have two small kids, so this is a constantly ongoing task, but I do my best to keep up with it because it helps him to relax when he gets home from work.
So, later Saturday night, my husband asks me how long I had been planning that. Haha! Then he tells me that he likes when I do that kind of stuff because then he knows that I am thinking about him during the day. Just served to drive home Tracie’s point from the other day about how they need to know we are thinking about them during the day.
Sorry! Found the wrong Michelle! My apologies!
My husband does need me to show more respect for him, regardless of his behavior. He is worthy of respect because he is a child of God & he holds the position of leadership in this home. Being married to a strong woman isn’t easy for
anyone; how do I temper my tendency to run over his ideas with my own?
I walk in daily forgiveness. The best gift I give my husband is not to be the Holy Spirit in his life. I keep a short list of wrongs. In good measure, my husband loves me to rub his back. So a back rub must be the plan today. Blessings
I came home from a retreat and thanked my husband for keeping everything going at home and told him how much I appreciate him!!
Just reach out and hold his hand once in awhile….
I often cook and bake for my husband, but to support him in his various sport ventures (and to join him in some of them) really speaks to him
Sit with him while he plays XBox and show that I am interested in it.
My hubby always asks me to rub his back, but never returns the favor (which I could really use sometimes)…so tonight I will do it for him w/o him asking…which he loveswhen I do it w/o him saying anything.
Also, any prayers for our marriage would be deeply appreciated. Been stressed w/ some things here recently. Thank you so much!! Have a blessed week!!
Having directions prepared for our trips and outings would really be appreciated by my husband but stresses me out to do them. Having read about providing for our husbands in different ways was a good reminder that doing these little things (like getting directions) is a way to provide and care for my husband despite the stress or time it may take me.
I can make my husband sweet tea. Sweet tea always makes him happy!!
my hubby loves my cooking…who knew that fulfilling this basic need for him on a daily basis would yield such success! amazing how his mood changes when he gets home from a long day with a from scratch dinner.
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