Teaching Your Girl How To Have Self Control

HardtoFindI wish I had read this book when I was a teenager. Well, maybe before I was a teenager, and also when I was in college.  If I had, I feel confident I would have made different choices in my young life, and would have felt pulled more towards seeking God’s approval and walking in His ways instead of going along with all the social pressures teen girls endure.

The book I’m talking about is my friend Lynn Cowell’s new book called Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants. And you can bet your bottom dollar that I will have this book in the hands of my own daughters before you even finish reading this post. Why? Because it teaches young girls to move past their varying emotions, drama, hormones and especially – the desire to be accepted by everyone – girls and guys – at all costs.

Looking back, I realize a lot of my problems in young adolescence and adulthood were due to a simple lack of self control. I would cave in to peer pressure by boys and girls, and sometimes cave into my own wants, and as a result, have to suffer the consequences of doing so. Oh, how I want my own children to be strong enough to have self control over their bodies, hearts and minds and make decisions that will benefit them in the long term.

On page 10 in Magnetic, a precious girl named Terri shared her story about when the hottest guy around pressured her into having sex. She didn’t want to, but she also didn’t want to say no because he might leave, so she did. Later, she ended up feeling “empty, guilty, hurt, ashamed, embarrassed, fooled and pregnant.” So many young girls walk this hard road because they didn’t know how to find the self control and the self respect to say no.

We all struggle with these two things at times, whether we are the daughter, or the mom, and Lynn helps us see that the trick is we have to “retrain our brain…. trade impulsive “I want it now” behaviors for the captivating characteristic of self control.” And when we do that, we can redesign our lives and take a new direction, allowing God to be our guiding light instead of a broken world.

None of us moms want to admit to our daughters that we made some serious errors in judgement due to no self control when we were young, but the truth is, a lot of us did. And you know what else is the truth? We can use those experiences and the lessons we learned, and the faith that we now know is so crucial, to help our daughters understand the importance of faith in their own lives and help them avoid some of the problems, and the consequences, of not making that faith a priority.

As a mom, I’ve learned that sometimes the best way to teach my daughters a lesson is not by preaching, teaching or reprimanding, but by being transparent and sharing my own mistakes, in the hopes they will learn the easy way from what I learned the hard way. Now don’t think I’ve been an open book about everything to my girls – not sure their minds could quite handle it. But as God has led me to be transparent about certain things, I allow Him to guide my words of instruction and have been able to open up conversations and teachable moments that may not have otherwise happened.

Nothing is more important to me than for my daughters, and my precious son, to know they are valuable and loved by God, and that when they make their faith a priority, they will be stronger in their self control, and in turn, gain self respect.

I love how Lynn’s book reminds us moms of what teen girls really go through, and helps our daughters by writing in such a way that our girls can feel like they’re talking to a wise older friend, not being preached at by some author lady.  And what mom doesn’t want that for her precious girl? I know I do!

magneticI’m so excited that Lynn has given me two copies of her book to give away on my blog – yay!  Below are a few of topics in this book, just so you’ll know some of the important life areas that are addressed.

- captivating characteristics that make a girl gorgeous

- love compels confident consideration of others 

- making  a habit of joy and pursuing peace and patience

- the importance of being kind to others and how to display kindness even when others are mean

- learning faithfulness and how to walk with God

So to enter to win, just leave a comment stating why this book would be so valuable to you and your daughter. Winners to be announced next week!  (emailed comments will not qualify for the drawing)

**If you want to go ahead and purchase your copy of Magnetic, click here.