6 Tips For Facing Bullying With Faith

200181253-001“Nothing hurts a mom’s heart more than when her child’s heart is broken or her spirit is crushed.”

That sentence was extracted from my Proverbs 31 devotion today, yet as I read my own words, I can again feel the emotion bubble up in my throat as I think how hard it was to watch both of my daughters, in different stages of life, be bullied, rejected and hurt by so-called friends, frenemies, former friends, or even enemies. I’ve walked both of them through such heartache and have seen first hand how the power of another person’s hurtful words and behavior can sometimes hurt worse than anything else.

I’ve experienced how overwhelming it seems to feel helpless to fix the problem and powerless to change the other person’s behavior. But I’ve also seen how God really is in control, even when we can’t be.

For teenagers, either in middle school or high school, acceptance and confidence is key to survival. Unfortunately, sometimes it only takes one person who decides they don’t like someone to serve as a contagion of unacceptance as they coerce others to ostracize that person as well. Lies, gossip, and rejection can quickly lead to embarrassment, hurt and loneliness which will eventually lead to low self esteem and a feeling of total isolation and devastation.

Although most schools today have a no-tolerance bullying policy, it’s difficult to prove, much less handle bullying that doesn’t involve some type of physical abuse, and thus usually making it impossible to really make it stop. That’s why dealing with frenemies, mean girls, or mean boys, is especially trying for kids and their parents, because sometimes the worst wounds of all are the ones invisible to anyone but God. Wounds that only love and faith can heal.

If your child or teen is currently dealing with a frenemy, bully, or difficult peer situation, below are some tips to help you help them. I have learned that our jobs as moms is not only to help mend a situation, but to help mend our child’s heart as well – and there is no better way to do that than leaning on Jesus.

6 Tips for Facing Bullying with Faith:

1. Talk with your child/teen about what’s going on without any judgement or condemnation. If you’ve noticed a change in their behavior or emotional well being, let them know it’s safe to talk about what they are going through. Home should always be their safe place.

2. Try to keep your own emotions in tact, although the temptation to be angry and hostile will certainly be strong. We don’t have control over how other people act, but we can control how we react and and how we teach our children to react. When we control our emotions, only through the grace of God, our kids will learn to control theirs as well. When we fail, let’s give ourselves grace to try again.

3. Pray. Pray. And pray some more. Pray alone, pray as a family, and pray with your child. Share bible verses with them that speak to what they’re going through. Although they may not seem interested at first, remember God’s Word has a way of sinking deep into hurting hearts. A few verses to consider are:

Psalm 17:7 – Psalm 138:7 – Proverbs 16:7 – Matthew 5:44 – Romans 8:31 – Psalm 118:6 – Ephesians 6:16 – 2 Timothy 1:7 – Deuteronomy 31:6 – Psalm 18:3

4. Ask God for guidance about how to deal with the situation, and for the ability to trust Him with it. Ask Him for protection over your child and their spirit while you wait to see Him do His work – in the situation, in your child’s heart, and in your own.

5. Trust that God knows, sees, cares, and loves your child. As moms we want to fix the problem and fix the offender, but that’s simply not always possible. But with God all things are possible and only He can change someone’s heart.

6. Believe and embrace God’s truth in Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Once you believe it, embrace it, and help your child learn to embrace it as well. God always has a purpose for pain and sometimes holding tightly to that promise helps one continue to be strong.

Have you ever managed bullying with faith and have a great word of advice for a mom in that situation? Do you need some encouragement today?

Leave a comment and let’s start a dialogue of support for this important topic. Your comment will enter you to win one of two copies of Glynnis Whitwer’s book When Your Child Is Hurting.

* *If your child is being bullied in any way and you feel it has reached a dangerous level – emotionally or physically – report it to the proper authorities immediately and take the appropriate action to protect your child and their well being in every way possible. 



God Will Give Us More Than We Can Handle

You might be thinking there is a word missing in the title of this post. Don’t people always say “God will never give us more than we can handle” ? Yes, they certainly do. However, that is a worldly belief, not a biblical one. There is nowhere in the Bible where God says He won’t […]

[Continue reading...]

Love You Forever


Whew it has been a whirlwind at the Miles’ house lately! My oldest finished her sophomore year of college, my second oldest graduated from high school, and my youngest completed his first year of high school with flying colors. But it was all of the graduation excitement that seemed to take the most energy. Not […]

[Continue reading...]

The Only Way To Find Victory Over Worry

In today’s Proverbs 31 devotion, I shared a story about how my husband pointed out that I worry too much. And although I didn’t really appreciate it, I sort of new it was true. I think my tendency to worry began the moment I found out I was pregnant with my first child over twenty […]

[Continue reading...]

Prayers for Your Children


Many people responded to yesterdays’ post regarding my offer to pray for your graduating children, and rather than just saying I would do it, I wanted you to know I read each comment and am praying for them and all those whose names I don’t know, but God does. Dear Jesus, this is a tough […]

[Continue reading...]

It Finally Hit Me


Last night was Senior Youth night at my church where we have been attending for twenty years. There was no formal program, just fellowship and laughter, and a chance for the graduating Seniors who were present to sit on stage and answer a few questions about their memories of church events, each other, family and […]

[Continue reading...]

Remember to Enjoy Being a Mom.. & a $75 Giveaway!


Have you ever had one of those days when you only have one little nerve left, and your child steps on it? Or your baby spits up on it? Or your teenager’s disrespectful words break that last nerve in half? Or when the stress of raising kids in general is making you a stress case? […]

[Continue reading...]

Don’t Cry Over Spilled Shampoo

It started out as an exciting project, but turned into one that is not only giving me gray hair, but making me want to pull out those gray hairs. One by one. It’s a project called home renovation.  If you’ve ever been through it, you probably feel my pain. It seemed like a simple goal […]

[Continue reading...]

Let God’s Love Drive Your Thoughts

In last week’s blog post, I talked about how our thoughts are powerful and the importance of keeping them under control. Reading through all the comments that were left last week, apparently I’m not the only one who has struggled with that! Oh how moving it was to read each and every comment, and catch […]

[Continue reading...]

A New Way To Think (& giveaway!)

mended heart

I knew they were there, but I tried to deny them. They controlled how I felt when I woke up in the morning, and when I went to sleep. They dictated how I reacted to a situation, and often steered conversations into a ditch. They often caused me to feel easily offended, hurt or angry […]

[Continue reading...]