5 Ways To Handle Anger In A Biblical Way

I pray that if you have been struggling with anger in your life, and spent the last couple days meditating on the verses I shared on Monday, that your heart has been softened and prepared to begin tackling this uncomfortable issue.

Handling anger is an important topic. Anger is so common place that we often accept is as the normal. Practically every day we see people getting angry – in traffic, in stores, on security camera video clips on the news, in movies, and maybe even in our homes.

I have had two women in the past week share with me that their husband is emotionally abusive due to the anger that he deals with every day, and I know there are countless other people living in hostile environments.

I also recently read that Christian counselors report that 50% of people who come in for counseling have problems dealing with anger.  And a website I came across stated that over 60% of people lose their temper at least once per week.

So what do we do?!  How we can not only overcome extreme bitterness in our heart that resulted from being hurt or betrayed,  but also learn to avoid losing our temper over all the daily things that agitate us?

Below are 5 ways to begin looking at anger differently, and handling it in a way that pleases God.
(Bible verses are all from The Message Bible translation.)

1. Before letting anger erupt, remember that God works through trials.  Think about how God would have you handle the situation, so that when people see your true colors, they are beautiful and not something to be ashamed of. Consider how He might be maturing you in your faith, and pray for Him to work in you, through the challenge
    James 1:2-4 (MSG)  Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from
    all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true
    colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature
    and well-developed, not deficient in any way

2. Let God do His job, instead of trying to do it for Him. When we have been hurt or wronged, we want the one who brought us pain, to feel pain themselves. We want to shun them, give them the silent treatment, or hurt them with words. We want to somehow get back at them for what they have done, after all, they deserve it.  But if there is one thing I know, God is a righteous and just God, and we can always trust that He knows what is going on and He will see to it that justice takes place.

    Romans 12:19 Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with
    everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God.

    “I’ll take care of it.” 

3. Don’t keep it all inside – talk it out.  The longer we hold our anger in, the more agitated it can become, so when it erupts, the outcome will always be ugly.  Talk to God about your feelings, and talk to someone you trust who can support in your desire to let your anger go.
    Ephesians 4:26 Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel
    for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold
    in your life. 

4. If you can’t change the person or circumstance which has angered you….. change yourself.  Anyone can return evil for evil…. but it takes a courageous person in Christ to allow love to flow from our hearts instead of hatred. Even if your mind wants to take revenge, talk to God about helping you have the willpower to offer forgiveness. It might not change the external problem, but it will change your internal ability to handle the situation. 
    Psalm 107:19-20 Then you called out to God in your desperate condition; he got you out in the
    nick of time. He spoke the word that healed you, that pulled you back from the brink of death.

5. Remember that no matter how justified we feel in our anger,; no matter how hopeless a situation seems; and no matter how or agitating, a situation may be – God is always there to help us deal with our anger in the right way. 
    1 Corinthians 10:13 No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what 
    others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never
    let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

So to make it sound easier – let’s break it down into 5 easy steps:

* Remember God has a plan.
* Let Him do His job. 
* Talk it out (with Him, and others)
* Change what you can change. 
* Remember God is your helper. 

If you have struggled with anger, in big ways or small ways, my prayer is that you will tuck these 5 steps into your heart and let them start becoming a habit, as you focus on dealing with each situation in this way. 

If you do not struggle with anger, the likelihood is that you know someone who does, and possibly whose family is suffering because of it. Pray about forwarding this week’s posts to them.

Overcoming ungodly anger won’t happen overnight, but if we turn our emotions over to God and rely on His strength, it can happen.

I’ve heard it takes 21 days for a habit to form –  today could be the first of that twenty one.


  1. Anonymous on Wednesday, May 9, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    Hi Tracie,

    Thank you very much for the wonderful insight about managing my anger. I am at the verge of leaving my marriage because of forgiveness and anger.

    Thank God I read your write up. I will work on myself for 21 days.

    Please encourage me in your prayers because I am in a cross road and totally confused about my marriage.

    God bless you abundantly.

  2. Anonymous on Thursday, May 10, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    Hi Tracie,

    I just read the devotional from Monday regarding Anger and the related topic here on your blog. Thank you so much as this is something I have struggled with my whole life. I have a serious problem with it and I know it. It’s been something I’ve tried to overcome, but have never been successful. Currently, I have an issue with someone and I’m having trouble confronting them. I am not brave enough even to talk on the phone. I have a big fear of people and what they will say, so I have a hard time confronting them. So, I often times avoid the person I am angry with or if I think the person is angry with me. Do you have any advice you can give me on this? Thank you so much!

  3. Anonymous on Sunday, May 13, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    This came at the right time for me … I am the person that doesn’t hold grudges and continously let’s people hurt me over and over . After reading, I’m going to go 21 days for myself … I’m going to free myself from my anger of not understanding and doubt, always thinking people should feel the same way I do . I realized I’m creating a lot of my own anger and I am the only one who can change that ! I’m not going to allow the devil to put me to bed at night , God will put me to sleep and he will be there in the morning as well …thank you for your daily encouragement . I look forward to it daily !

  4. anonymous on Tuesday, April 8, 2014 at 11:52 pm

    I Google some inspirational tips on how to deal with my old anger issues that I’ve allowed to resurface but it’s much worse. I’ve been divorced but I’m having issues with my kids. The ex constantly uses them to get under my skin simply because she knows the deep relationship that we have. I plan to try your 5 step plan because I’ve become someone that I don’t know.

  5. Marie Renard on Monday, November 10, 2014 at 5:57 am

    Why use “The Message”? It’s not a translation; it is not even a paraphrase. It is an absolute mockery of God’s Word written by an emergent church fool. It is a parody of the Bible. I recommend you burn that nonsense.

    • annonymous on Wednesday, February 4, 2015 at 4:26 am

      so much anger

  6. love child on Thursday, August 27, 2015 at 11:54 am

    Thank you, helped alot …I needed this before my mouth got me speAking ungodly and that is not God’s way.!!!!!!

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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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