Divorce Does Not Have to Leave You Feeling Rejected by the Church

I know from firsthand experience that, at times, the church can become the last place you feel accepted following divorce. You may no longer feel comfortable attending your couple’s Sunday school class. Maybe you don’t fit in with the singles group either because everyone there is younger or older than you, or you’re still having trouble with the reality of being single at all.

Perhaps your church friends simply don’t understand the situation. Maybe they don’t know what to say or whose side to take, so they have quietly backed away from your friendship, adding to your pain (even though they love you dearly).

Maybe you’ve felt judged, misunderstood, or even ridiculed by fellow believers, some who may have instructed you to forgive “seventy times seven” (as mentioned in Matthew 18:22), as if you haven’t already forgiven more than they know. Maybe your church has even told you that divorce disqualifies you from serving your church family or holding a leadership role at all, which is so wrong and only adds salt to the gaping wounds in your broken heart already trying to heal.

In any case, hear this: God does not hate you regardless of your circumstances.  We read in Malachi 2:16 that God hates divorce, but He does not hate divorced people. Instead, He hates divorce because He knows it brings suffering to His beloved children. God loves and adores you unconditionally no matter your marital status. He adores you, and nothing we do, don’t do or that is done to us, makes us unworthy to be His daughters or serve in His kingdom.

If you’ve experienced any of these situations, picture me giving you a hug right now. I know that rejection and ridicule hurt. Being misunderstood and misjudged is unfair and cruel, especially by the church, and it makes this difficult journey even harder than it needs to be. Sadly, this shunning, judgment, or exclusion from the faith community, whether intentional or unintentional, happens far too often to women who feel so alone and lost and desperately need the love and support of believers more than ever before.

That is one of the main reasons I wrote Living Unbroken and founded this Divorce Recovery Program and study. My prayer is that if this is your story, you can join a group of precious women and that your group will serve as your safe and welcoming place within the church community by bringing you into a room full of women who truly understand and care, as well as knowing you are supported and loved by your fellow believers – despite your marital status. I also pray this journey helps restore your confidence in yourself, your God, and your church. If you have a friend or family member who needs this study, you have no idea how much sharing will them might be the one thing they need to start turning life around.

Watch this video below for more information and then consider ordering the book and workbook today! If you are or know of a church leader, consider approaching them about starting this program for your congregation, because trust me, there are women sitting alone in the pews trying hard to back the tears of their pain and shame and loneliness.  (This study can also be done on an individual basis, and you can watch all the videos at home, if desired.)



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I’d love to hear from you and how this book might be helpful for you, a friend or loved one. Have a question for me? Ask away in the comments!


  1. Traci on Tuesday, March 1, 2022 at 9:04 am

    Tracie! Thank you for this resource! For the last few years I have used Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Bibles studies, podcasts, and other resources to grow in my faith. But my current situation is a pending divorce and all the pain and struggle this is bringing in my life. I look forward to reading this book and working through the study.

  2. Kristin on Tuesday, March 1, 2022 at 9:26 am

    It has been 20 years since my marriage ended. My daughters were 7 and 9. They are now grown, not married themselves yet, and I am an empty nester. I have not remarried and will probably not. I know how I felt in church when this was happening especially since my SS class decided to do a marriage class. I left the class and went to another one. Now I only attend church. Maybe this book is not for me since it has been so long, but I feel like it still might help. Thank you for reaching out to women in this situation now. I wish this would been available when I was first divorced.

  3. Dana on Tuesday, March 8, 2022 at 11:07 am

    I’m dealing with a separation after almost 37 years, there’s a lot involved with this decision. I’ve not lightly reached this this conclusion, it was after years of mental and emotional abuse by a mentally ill spouse who has abandoned me on multiple occasions. I’m actively looking for a church group that is doing your program in the Charlotte, NC area, if someone could offer suggestions I would be very grateful.

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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.


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