Do you even still love me, Lord?

In the darkest of night before dawn, as shadows from the window splattered ominously across my bedroom walls, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

So many burdens weighing heavily on my heart. So many worries on my mind. So many people I loved dealing with heartbreaking issues, none of which I could fix or help with. So many mistakes, shortcomings and sins of my own threatening to steal my peace.

So, I prayed. Which I will confess, I don’t do enough. And then I prayed some more, pouring all of my concerns out at the feet of the Lord. But then, I found myself thinking … am I even worthy to be lifting up all these prayer requests?

So I immediately began asking God to forgive me for all my sins, listing them out one by one, because that seems like the right thing to do to prepare my heart to approach God, right?

Then, as I was doing so, I had a startling thought (…heart racing…):

Do you even still love me, God? Despite me?

I instantly began to lecture myself for thinking such a thought. I know better. I know God’s promise of unconditional love. I know what the Bible says about forgiveness and wholeness. In fact, I not only know it, I write about it, talk about it, post about it on social media and share it with others all the time! I quickly put that thought aside, asking God to forgive me for even thinking such a thing. I took comfort and peace in God’s unwavering love for me, and eventually dozed back off to sleep.

A couple hours later, I woke up, rolled out of bed, put my warmest robe on and headed to the coffee maker. While it was brewing, as I do every morning, I turned to the little spiral bound calendar sitting under the lamp beside the coffee maker, and flipped the page over to the correct day’s date.

My heart skipped a beat.

The quote for that specific day read:

“Remember today: the Lord loves you. He celebrates you, and He’s so glad you’re His.”

A little tear formed in my eye. Jesus literally had just reminded me, in a very tangible way, that He loved me. Thank you, sweet Jesus, I muttered under my breath.

Have you ever been there? Wondering if God really still loves you?

I just felt like maybe someone else needed to be reminded today that despite everything, God still loves them. Unconditionally. And if you are that someone else, maybe even ashamed of thinking such a thing like I was, it’s okay, my friend.

But just never forget that He does love you, no matter what. He celebrates you, and He’s so glad you are His too.

Ask God to reveal more of His love to you, and He will. It’s a prayer He delights to answer.

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Tracie Miles is a bestselling author of books, a Christian Literary Agent and the Director of COMPEL Pro Writers Training at Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

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